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Mark Trail, 3/13/17

Hey, parents: if your kid asks for $60,000 so they can get an MFA in film from USC or whatever, be aware that probably the best job they can get upon graduation is running black-footed ferret and prairie dog surveys out in South Dakota’s tornado alley.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/13/17

Oh, hey, were you worried that Sarah’s amnesia was going to interfere with her schooling? Well, don’t fret: Welton Green may talk a big game about assessing talent and intellect, but as long as your check clears, they don’t really give a shit about things that don’t involve your check clearing.

The Lockhorns, 3/13/17

Leroy’s boss hasn’t bothered him in a week, because he murdered his boss and left his corpse to putrefy right there in his cube!