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Mary Worth, 8/3/17

“As a mere medical assistant, you are not authorized to question the sexual behavior of doctors! And as Dr. Fletcher’s current sexual target, his status has accrued to me! Now return to your duties and cease making eye contact with me at once!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/3/17

“Oh, right, we saw those pills in your purse last night so we dropped him off at Child Protective Services while you were asleep. We’re the Morgans — we know what’s right for everybody!”

Spider-Man, 8/3/17

Mole-Man, having already easily defeated Spider-Man by hitting him in the thigh with a stick, is under no illusions about how much protection he can offer.

Beetle Bailey, 8/3/17

“Gosh, it makes me mad that so many people seem to view the U.S. military as the enforcement arm of an acquisitive, hegemonic imperial state rather than as a noble and purely defensive institution! At least I know there’s one unquestioningly pro-military pop culture franchise out there: Beetle Bailey. Now to take a big sip of coffee and read today’s strip.”