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Mary Worth, 2/9/22

“Yes, it seemed that all hope was lost as I plunged into the cruel sea. But I lifted up a prayer to the Lord above to spare my life. ‘Please, heavenly Father,’ I asked, ‘let me live long enough to go to Toby’s next birthday party!’ Where is the birthday girl, anyway? Oh, she’s crying in the bedroom over her lost youth? Welp, more muffins for me, then, ha ha!”

Mark Trail, 2/9/22

Little does Wilbur know that when he took that plunge off the boat, he tore a hole right in the fabric of his own reality, splitting his soul in two! Sure, one half of him is back in Charterstone, right as rain — but the other, which must carry the weight of his misfortune, now haunts the nightmares of Rusty and all his little friends.

Daddy Daze, 2/9/22

Jeez, I know Daddy Daze has been getting increasingly depressing, but I still think that it’s a real escalation to do a week’s worth of strips where the Daddy Daze baby crushes the Daddy Daze baby by dropping a huge stuffed bear on him, and then the Daddy Daze daddy slowly dies, and then the Daddy Daze baby eventually dies of starvation as well.

Hi and Lois, 2/9/22

“When mommy just parks the car, puts San Diego in the GPS, and just sits there for an hour staring silently through the windshield, eventually sighing and turning the GPS off and going back home real slow? That’s less fun, I gotta say.”