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Blondie, 1/25/22

OK, a cat wedding isn’t that wacky — like maybe it’s in the top 20 percent of wacky things that might conceivably happen to a caterer — but this strip did make me realize that frankly nothing particularly wacky ever happens to Dagwood. Like, he goes to work, annoys his carpool, gets yelled at by his boss, eats fast food, etc., etc. Oh, did you go to a bird store and the bird store guy said something weird about the bird, Dagwood? BORING. What I’m trying to say is that he should know better than now to try to one-up his wife on this point.

Dick Tracy, 1/25/22

It must be kind of fun to be Kriptonite — no, wait, I mean Kyptonite — sorry, that’s just Kryptonite, I guess. Anyway, it must be fun to be him because you don’t have to keep track of the various inscrutable feuds within the Tracyverse underworld. Someone calls you up, pays you some money, and then you go and murder someone else with a speargun! Is the guy you’re supposed to murder today the same guy who paid you to murder someone else like two weeks ago? Who knows! You don’t keep written records of all this stuff! It’s murder! Why would you?

Mary Worth, 1/25/22

ME, ON A DATE, REALIZING THAT THE DEAD DOG TALK ISN’T GOING SO WELL: I’m really enjoying working with my nephew! The job stresses him out, though. Probably because of all the dogs we keep killing [no damn it shut up shut up shut up]