“Like this beatnik here, I know you really hate beatniks”
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Dick Tracy, 1/19/23
Hey, remember “Wunbrow,” Dick Tracy’s pal with only one [eye]brow? He showed up in 1958 as a Tracy ally and agent of Batista’s dictatorship, and then, proving his ideological malleability, reappeared in 2016 as a Tracy ally and agent of Castro’s dictatorship, and now he’s a Tracy ally and agent of … the municipal government of Panama City, Florida? Anyhoo, he’s summoning Dick down to his new semi-tropical home because that’s where Kriptonite/Kyptonite murdered the art forger guy, with a speargun. “Don’t let them embalm the corpse!” says Dick, who can’t get off if he doesn’t get to smell rotting human flesh at least once a month.
Pluggers, 1/19/23
Look, it’s possible that a plugger might own a motorcycle, but nobody thinks that a plugger would own a set. They’re quite expensive and honestly that sort of ostentation is not pluggerish at all. I feel like these panels should at least present us with plugger descriptions that are slightly surprising, or give us some vague insight into the plugger lifestyle that we didn’t previously have. Pluggers aren’t going to go out and buy a matching pair of helicopters either, but I’m sure we can all agree that we don’t need that explained to us.
239 replies to ““Like this beatnik here, I know you really hate beatniks””
@Uncle Lumpy: “modbot dinged me for soCIALISt”
Just try again a little later, it will take modbot at least an hour to get so hard on you again.
[Recovered from moderation and retimed]
Rex Morgan: Poor Poteet. With all that’s gone wrong in June’s life since she left work, her hair worm is still picture perfect. Maybe the next calamity to befall June will involve barber scissors gone wrong.
Pluggers: Shouldn’t they be pointy, at least? Maybe that’s why he’s asking for cheese — those things don’t cut it with meat.
MW: “…The last time I saw you was when you had an ANGRY KARAOKE SING-OFF with your ex during our date!”
Ed gives a shout out at their okay chorale.
Plugger. No, I’m fairly a confident a Plugger would eat expired food, mend socks for years and even look the other way from a leaky roof for an extra year to afford a sweet pair of those “his and her” Harley trikes, all the while telling themselves they look like Easy Rider, not Baby Huey on a Big Wheel.
When I first read today’s “Pluggers,” I didn’t realize the context was that the cat-man was having his picture taken and thought he was just yelling “CHEESE!” after getting his new chompers. Which, honestly, given many of the other “Pluggers” I’ve read on this site, felt perfectly on-brand.
“Don’t let them embalm the corpse!” joins “Don’t mention the autopsy photos!” in the list of hilariously macabre phrases that makes me sincerely glad the dying newspaper comic industry can’t afford editors any more
Plug Fiction –
Whose choppers are these?
Zed.
Who is Zed?
Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.
“Hey, Cat-Plugger — what soft, easy-to-chew food are you looking forward to eating again now that you have your new teeth?”
RMMD: “Injuries? There are no injuries. I need an ambulance to cut through traffic and deliver a pizza to the Morgan residence, STAT!”
BB: A sly reminder to call your mother, or at least text; send an email, write a letter, doesn’t even have to be anything fancy, just show her you care.
RMMD: The most tragic thing that’s going to happen to June tonight is when she finally staggers in the door to be greeted with, “What are you making for dinner?”
MW: Every woman who’s ever dated Wilbur should get a tattoo that says, “Gulp!”
JP-I hate to tell you, Gloria, but you are in a bad comic.
FC-Time to take PJ out to behind the tool shed.
Pluggers: Cat plugger holding a dead mouse in those choppers, complete with cartoony X’ed out eyes, would have sold the joke better. Just saying.
Oh God that poor plugger hocked his motorcycle to pay for orthodontia.
Pluggers: “Thanks to Anse Bundren, Yoknapatawpha County, Mississippi.”
@MKay:
MW: Every woman who’s ever dated Wilbur should get a tattoo that says, “Gulp!”
A woman wearing a “Gulp” tattoo is going to draw the kind of attention where having dated Wilbur is the least of her problems.
DT: It looks like the cop and Surf City guy are having a moment, with the staring and all. “I don’t know where to put my arms when I’m with you, but I love it!”
DT: Maybe he should call up his smarter German cousin, Inspektor Einbraue.
DT: “On second thought, I’m flying Southwest. Better tell them to just go ahead and embalm that corpse now…”
I agree with Ms Horner, Luann is not how to do a comic strip
GT: In other news, Valley Tech is now a Year-Round Thing.
Pluggers: Considering that the typical Harley owner is a gray-haired beerbelly well on the north side of fifty a plugger owning one isn’t too much of a stretch.
MW: “For the past few months, I’ve thought about you, Stell, and wondered how you’ve been doing. Then I thought about your pets’ parasites and wondered how Wilbur’s been doing. It’s funny how these things work.”
Buying a set of choppers would be even more ridiculous than buying a set of motorcycles (albeit I would love a large touring bike for occasional use apart from my 500 cc daily commute one) because a chopper is a specific modification of a motorcycle. Not every motorcycle is a chopper, in fact extremely few are.
Luann: No, Tara, prompting Luann into saying something dumb is pretty easy. Horner seems wise because she’s wearing glasses, but note that she never opens her eyes.
Luann: Mrs. Horner is giving me a Norman Bates dressed as his dead mother vibe.
@Old School Allie Cat: “Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.”
Oh,man! First Bela Lugosi, and now this!?
@Hibbleton: @MKay:
MW: Every woman who’s ever dated Wilbur should get a tattoo that says, “Gulp!”
A woman wearing a “Gulp” tattoo is going to draw the kind of attention where having dated Wilbur is the least of her problems.
Unless Wilbur is the first one to see it.
@Hibbleton:
“And the karaoke feud reminded me of the love song of the canine tapeworm, Echinococcus granulosus.
In the intestine the kibbles come and go
Talking of Mary’s muffin dough.”
@Ukranazi Stepan: #24:
“my 500cc daily commute one”
Let me guess. It’s a Royal Enfield Bullet.
@Uncle Lumpy: I would actually happily take a well maintained cruiser bike as payment for dental treatment.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
Yes. Specifically a Desert Storm.
DT: Well, I guess it was only a matter of time before they rebooted Friends, but this is definitely not the direction I thought they would take it. ‘Could I BE any more dead?’ /canned laughter/
When a Plugger says he has a pair of choppers, it means they’ve been spending too much time watching NRA videos. Cheese, motherfuckers!
@pugfuggly:
Or he’s one of da ork boyz.
Pluggers: No one, plugger or otherwise, refers to teeth or dentures as choppers. Granted, there’s no funny double meaning to chompers, but you know, maybe we just don’t need to force wordplay out of prosthetic dental work.
9CL: If I wanted to watch ugly animals climb around, make loud screeching noises, and sniff each other, I’d go to the zoo. For Manhattan’s cultural elite, however, this is just another sold-out performance at Carnegie Hall.
MW: In case anyone forgot who the dumbest person in Santa Royale is after a year of exposure to intellectual powerhouses like Toby Cameron, Dawn Weston, and Zak Cougarsimp, today is your helpful reminder.
Pie cutters, word hole, smile factory, teefs, Bite Club, kisser lip service, slot A, set of bran flakes, your 32 white horses, Jaws 2: The Tooth is Out There, you-can’t-make-up-the-teeth, there’s so many fun slang terms for teeth/mouths that could have made this Pluggers cartoon a working joke and they went for “set of choppers” which is not, as has been pointed out, a homonym for anything that anybody anywhere owns – I think the closest you could get is that Scrubs episode where JD, Turk and Carla gets themed blue, green and purple mini scooters which nobody could ever get the idea of referring to as choppers, but obviously Mr Phil church just thought up the “chopper” joke and went with it like it was the first and only funny thought he ever had in his life and how could Pluggers/i> corp turn that down okay this sentence has really got away from me
DT: Chandler’s unembalmed body becomes reanimated with flesh-eating zombie disease infecting all of Panama City. Tracy fights his way off the plane issuing a stream of headshots from his pearl handled 45’s to the walking corpses. He says to no one in particular; “I forgot how much fun Florida is!”
Luann The childishness of Luann’s questions is remarkable, but whatever this class is seems pretty childish, too.
MW – Chutzpah – Not finding a new vet after embarrassing yourself on a date with the existing one, and then being surprised when he brings it up when you bring your dog in for a deworming (and to hit on him again).
@jroggs: 9CL-“For Manhattan’s cultural elite, however, this is just another sold-out performance at Carnegie Hall.”
Given the lack of any backgrounds, and their casually unprofessional approach to performing, I’d consider it more likely that this is just more cosplay in Seth’s Piano Room.
Hey, Rambling Otter: I apologize for being an offensive jerk yesterday afternoon.
As someone said, having a phony insult lobbed at you here is a sign on being in the “in crowd,” and I meant it in such a manner. “People are laughing behind your back” is a classic trigger for paranoids* and I figured it was so over-the-top it should be obvious it wasn’t a serious observation.
In any case, I’m sorry I made your day a little worse.
* See “Did you know you have an ugly laugh?”**
** Not you. Your laughter is as the tinkling of tiny silver bells over a meadow of clover
Dustin: Put it on a plate, son….you’ll enjoy it more.
JP: “Kingdom Hall was already booked for the evening, so we’re hosting the annual Policeman’s Ball here at the hospital. May I have the next foxtrot?”
@Ukranazi Stepan: Pluggers, the new playable race in Totally Tired: Warhammer IV
Maybe it’s a Northeast thing but I’ve heard dentures referred to as Choppers many times.
Carry on.
GT: “Rhombus, rhombus, circle that square! All for Valley, stand up and cheer!”
A girls’ basketball score of 24-23 after one? Both teams must be shooting better than 80%. Henry, you have clearly left Cluelessville and are now entering Ridiculous Heights.
Meanwhile, I guess Gilpa’s commercial wasn’t a big hit, since Henry decided to drop it after one day. Must have been that bad oyster, eh Hank?
@Hibbleton:
Ha ha, I guess you’re right. I was operating in the confines of the Worthverse.
Dick Tracy : why does Dick need to show up in person for this? Is this just a pretext for him to leave snowy Illinois to spend a few days
vacationingin sunny Florida?*********
Pluggers : never struck me as the motorcycle type. I always thought of them as the exclusively automobiles type (specifically, rust-covered, broken down pickup trucks).
JP: Ces has been taking lessons from Karen Moy on pacing.
RMMD: June mutters to herself, “If I have to save one more damn life tonight, I’m going to murder someone!”
@Ukranazi Stepan:
Yup no irony there, move along, move along ….
Luann: Apparently, Morecock666 hasn’t posted in several days, and there’s an APB for the poor little guy. Also, too, there is much debate over whether it’s OK to make Luann look like an idiot (it is, of course).
Meanwhile, over at Arlo and Janis, Arlo plans to fuck Janis on the sofa.
I was going to snark on Mary Worth, but then I got sucked into the new Popeye strip. Do they have two artists doing this? It’s confusing.
Judge Parker: Gloria’s “What’s happening?!?” speaks for us all.
@Ukranazi Stepan: @Uncle Lumpy: I would actually happily take a well maintained cruiser bike as payment for dental treatment.
Yes, but are you a dentist?
Luann: For once, I’m sympathetic to Luann’s confusion. This is an awful writing prompt. I have no idea if Ms. Horner is even asking for non-fiction or fiction, let alone the structure or purpose of the assignment. Aren’t most of these students strangers to each other? Isn’t asking them to create inferences or make shit up about each other from answers to two random questions potentially (if not definitely) very inappropriate? And for crying out loud, only 500 words? That’s very little room to explore even a single topic as seemingly shallow as someone’s favorite color, let alone one of their favorite stories.
“Oh, yeah, THAT, heh-heh, It’s the funniest thing, but then we got back together again. But then we broke up again, and I’m not seeing him anymore. I’m not seeing anyone anymore.”
“Nice seein’ ya, Estelle. Give my assistant a call in two weeks and let her know how Pierre is doing. Bye.”
The next day, Estelle shows up at his office at lunchtime with a bag of ribs from Porky’s.
DT — How can Dick be in Panama City in three hours? He’d have to be boarding the Concorde at O’Hara right now. . .
@jroggs: And asking a student to do something in front of a class without any grounding in how to do it right is horrible teaching. It’s especially inappropriate since she knows Luann, and has to know she will do something childish.
Ripley: Hugh Grant’s parents, being huge Brooklyn Dodgers fans, named their son after pitcher Van Lingle Mungo.
….About 63 earths could fit inside….
Nah — too easy.
MW – Man, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve thought the word “gulp” when someone brought up an uncomfortable memory. So relatable.
@But What Do I Know?: Wizards.
Luann: I dunno; you’d think a writer could do a lot with Red Dune.
@52 Charterstoned: Yes he is a dentist. A dentist without a chopper.
Dick Tracy: This just raises more questions than it answers. Why go to the expense of a speargun assassination in Panama City when you could just do a drive-by in neo-Chicago? What is Señor Wunbrow’s matronymic? Why is he green? Most of all, how will Dick Tracy justify shooting Surf City dude in the face? So many questions, so little time.
@jroggs: “Luann: For once, I’m sympathetic to Luann’s confusion. This is an awful writing prompt. I have no idea if Ms. Horner is even asking for non-fiction or fiction, let alone the structure or purpose of the assignment.”
That was my first reaction as well. This is an absolutely awful assignment for a beginning CW class. Mrs. Horner blasts Luanns’ choice of questions, but how is Luann supposed to know what to ask when she has no idea what kind of text she’s supposed to produce? She’s supposed to teach writing, not test their research skills.
It could possibly be a good assignment for an advanced journalism class, but here she’s really throwing her students into the deep end of the pool without teaching them to swim first.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: We’re talking about a strip where musicians canonically interrupt their own performances to graphically discuss the results from their piss-soaked medical test kits they carried on stage in front of 3000 paying customers. There is no floor for the unprofessional and gross behavior of 9CL‘s protagonists.
Also Dick Tracy: “They’re—they’re going to shoot me in the face, aren’t they? My agent said this was just a walk on, but I feel like they’re going to shoot me in the face.”
“It’s okay, kid. It’s okay. We all have to go somehow.”
Pluggers: Speaking of choppers, that, well, plentiful set on display makes me concerned that 9CL has somehow broken containment and is… spreading. Look out for for an incoming ‘Pluggers have extremely long legs’ as the next level of infection, I guess?
LUANN She already knows that Luann and Tara are friends, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the assignment?
This is just a one day seminar still, right, not a long term writing workshop? Hiring someone over 90 to teach your workshop seems a bit risky. And making her stand in front of the class all day also seems a poor choice. Were there not enough chairs?
A one day workshop really doesn’t give enough time to make an assignment, let people write it up, read everyone’s assignment, and then give specific feedback. With only one (or two) days, the focus needs to be on showing examples and having specific discussions on what is good/bad about them, there’s not a lot of time for individual instruction.
@jroggs:
It IS a terrible prompt—not even a prompt at all, really—but I wouldn’t say it’s “inappropriate.” It’s kind of similar to the ice breakers you do in meetings or (sadly) high school classrooms). Annoying, but not inappropriate (IMO).
@Rube: “And asking a student to do something in front of a class without any grounding in how to do it right is horrible teaching.”
Um…. not exactly. That technique is for CHILDREN. Luann is an adult. But yes, Old Lady Horner should have realized Luann, who is feeble-minded, wouldn’t ask good questions.
DT: There are so many strange assumptions made here. It must be fairly obvious that the dead painter was shot with a speargun, and there really can’t be much evidence to collect from a body that must have been found floating in the ocean. So why is it so important that Dick fly down to Florida? And why is it so important that he examine the body? And how do they even know that Dick will be interested or that it falls under his jurisdiction? As far as I know, Dick is just investigating a case of forged animation cels, and has no idea that the new Leonardo painting is a fake or even connected to his case.
Pluggers: Cheese? Choppers? Finally, a Pluggers from Wiscon—California? They don’t even make Harley-Davidsons there!
GT: “Quadrilaterals! Trapezoids! Isosceles trapezoid! Kite!”
“Honestly, Coach, is the gym the best place for your geometry class?”
“Trapezium! Trapezium!”
@Rube: @gardenornament: You’re both right, it’s just that Luann characters being pointlessly nasty to each other is the default.
@gardenornament: It does not question the narrative logic of Dick Tracy, or it gets the hose again.
Harley-Davidson has been struggling in recent years because basically their main customer base are pluggers and that sort of thing is only good for the pharmaceutical industry and golf courses.
@Baja Gaijin: I have an old Schwinn, if he’s hard up.
@Anonymous:
JP: Ces has been taking lessons from Karen Moy on pacing.
RMMD: June mutters to herself, “If I have to save one more damn life tonight, I’m going to murder someone!”
Oops, I don’t want to implicate the real Anonymous with my failure to log in.
@brendancalling: She’s an adult physically, mentally and emotionally not so much.
DT: “We’ve got a lot of people for you to question”? It sounds like Inspector Wunbrow follows the Captain Renault “round up the usual suspects” school of policing. But I’m sure Tracy will be happy to sweat a confession out of one or more of them.
@brendancalling: The only defense I see to that claim is that the prompt is too vague to assess. But telling students to “write about a classmate” (whom, I remind you, is almost definitely a total stranger) after asking them a pair of personal questions? As stated, the task seems to demand that these students take this personal information and twist it for their own ends however they like; this is a creative writing course, after all, and they’re not being creative if they aren’t doing something transformative with those answers. Lots of ways for that to go very badly between people who don’t know each other, even with relatively good intentions (which Luann characters don’t have).
DT: He should be called Inspector Unaceja.
@jroggs, Luann: Unless it’s an opportunity to knock down Miss Inner Beauty, which is always welcomed.
“Luann, what time is it?” “It’s two o’clock.” “Wrong, it’s seven o’clock in Paris. You’re a stupid idiot.”
As Hawkeye Pierce once said, “Don’t kick ’em when they’re down. Kick ’em when they’re not looking.”
9CL: It seems they are playing some very avant-garde music which involves not just sounds, but fragrances as well. How does that work? Is Edda wearing extra-strong perfume, or are the “fragrances” things like the smell of musician in heat?
9CL: Yikes. Mr. Overbite here doesn’t just have an overbite and no chin. He’s missing about 90% of his lower jaw! What horrible accident happened in his childhood, and why hasn’t he had reconstructive surgery?
Luann: What so pisses me off about this strip is that if it were about a mildly autistic girl trying to make in the world, it could be brilliant. As it is, it’s ridiculous.
A teacher asking a question and then humiliating the student for their answer in front of the class is all too familiar for parents of learning disabled children.
DT: The world needs more assassins whose preferred weapon is the speargun. It’s not quite as cool as a bladed hat, but it’s much more original than an ordinary gun,
Pluggers: Seriously. If a Plugger announced they had cataracts, I wouldn’t even be remotely tempted to believe they owned portions of the Nile.
all this talk of “choppers” and “cheese” and now a bunch of early 1980s saturday morning cartoon educational shorts are stuck in my head. Thanks a lot, pluggers.
Avoid my fate by trying not to look up “Exercise your choppers” or “I hanker for a hunk of cheese”
Pluggers – Then the cat vanished quite slowly, ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of him had gone. “Must be a Cheshire Cheese Cat,” thought Alice.
Dick stepped out of the oppressive heat of a Florida winter into the wall of icy air that meant death. One thing about a morgue, he thought to himself, is that they don’t stint on the air conditioning. His steely eyes settled on a pasty fat man behind a desk, and Tracy’s immaculately polished shoes clicked with the sound of a safety sliding back as he walked over the cool white tile. “Tracy, New Chicago PD,” he growled, flashing his badge just long enough to impress, but not long enough for anyone to register his ID number or full name. “Looking for a floater, killed with a spear gun. Show me what you have.”
The fat man looked up without any particular interest. “Sorry, man, we don’t have anyone like that. Got a vacationer drowned on their own vomit, two oxy deaths, a GSW to the head, and a meat crayon that didn’t wear a helmet.”
Tracy reached down and grabbed the attendant by the collar, hauling him out of his chair as his paunch suddenly spilled out of his shirt and on to the desk, as pallid as the dead flesh he guarded. “Don’t get wise with me, sonny boy, my informant tells me to find a speargun death in Panama City and I’m going to find one. Or make one, wise guy.”
A note of panic rising in his voice, the morgue attendant said “You know there’s a Panama City in Panama, right?”
Tracy’s grip tightened, and his knuckles turned white. “Don’t lecture me on Panama, I know more about Panama than David Lee Roth.” He leaned over to his wrist genie and whispered “Is there a Panama City in Panama?”
DT – I missed the beginning of this conversation, but that “Saludos amigos” tells me all I need to know. Señor Unibrow’s phone rang, he picked it up, and before he could say a word, Dick Tracy launched into a barrage of police talk. By the time Tracy finally slowed down enough to get in a greeting, Unibrow figured it must be more than one person on the other end of the line, because there had been no pauses for breath.
Don Abundio, translated:
“How’s it going with your horseback riding?”
“Fine, thanks. Now that I use cushions”
“The horse complains a lot less!”
Grandpa Lumpy was the advertising account exec for Harley-Davidson way, way, back during the rise of the Honda 50. Harley (Walter Davidson) saw this as an attack on their market share, not an expansion of their market, and “countered” with the Harley-Davidson M65: “Fifteen more cubic centimeters, yo!” This was really stupid, and G.L. told them so, but no points for being right. (The right move was refresh styling of their midrange bikes and wait for Honda 50 owners to move up. The Honda 50 opened the market, the Honda 350 took it away from Harley.)
Now Harley is addressing the aging of their demographic by introducing an electric Harley. This is really stupid, and I’m here to tell them so. You can address a new market (see: Cadillac) or introduce a new product category (see: Apple), but you can’t do both at the same time.
Frazz: She should just go listen to some XTC.
Luann: Is that
teacheradjunct professor related to Bernice Halper?!?FWCS: Yeah, don’t be too hasty, Lillian. That’s more than the royalties you’ll get for your book (and I guess revenue you get from your bookstore).Dick Tracy: Can’t wait to see Tracy’s idea of tropical attire. If he doesn’t wear the most godawful Hawaiian shirt and trunks combo imaginable, I riot.
Pluggers: Pluggers’ teeth are so rotted from decades of neglect that Pluggers have to get dentures much earlier then the average person.
Dustin: Is Dustin’s stupid thing making a sandwich with bologna and jelly?
FC: This bit of wordplay amused me, so I feel bad making a comment about PJ or Dolly eating dog shit.
MW: Oh shit. I forgot Estelle and the vet were dating during Wilbur’s Night of Karaoke Follies. Well, I guess that ship has sailed.
Pluggers are huge Wallace and Gromit fans, but don’t tell anyone; it would ruin their reputation as narrowly provincial small-town Americans. (Also their Wallace impression kinda sucks.)
DT – Very suspicious! This creep couldn’t get a date in Syria, yet he left a venue with a female population twice that of the males for Panama City….
Pluggers – Or alternatively, a new set of Alaskan ulu knives to mince his food….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Pluggers: Cat Man’s teeth ought to be pointier than that.
Luann: I think a better solution would have been for the teacher to create a list of ten prompts beforehand, from which the students could each pick two.
RwO: How old is this writer? Tupperware hasn’t advertised on the basis of “burping” the little tubs since the old days of home Tupperware parties back in the ’60s, has it?
@taig: MW: Oh shit. I forgot Estelle and the vet were dating during Wilbur’s Night of Karaoke Follies. Well, I guess that ship has sailed.
Are we talking about the same ship Wilbur fell off of?
CS: That “I don’t really want any money, but if you insist that you give me thousands of dollar I can reconsider” is a great joke. I think it was my great-great-grandpa’s favourite joke when he was a kid.
@taig: FC: This bit of wordplay amused me, so I feel bad making a comment about PJ or Dolly eating dog shit.
***
Reminds me of an oldie but goodie:
Why doesn’t Jeffy eat shit sandwiches?
He doesn’t like bread.
C’shaft: Funky Winkerbean may be over but its eternal pipe dream of coming across a copy of Amazing Fantasy #15 in a forgotten stash somewhere lives on.
Dustin: Is anyone else weirded out by how Dustin characters’ eyes go from “simple black dot” to “standard cartoon white with pupil” and back seemingly at random? I mean, the former is creepy enough on its own (Dustin’s blank stare as he shoves a sandwich in his toothy maw would put Dagwood Bumstead off his food) but when you add in the switch it looks like they’re having an internal struggle with a mind-controlling alien parasite.
GT: Damn, Milford takes the Mathmatical Olympiad SERIOUSLY!
JP: Well, now THERE’s the sixty-five thousand dollar question…
Luann: I can’t decide what would be worse: trying to extrapolate a story out of two questions to a relative stranger without stumbling onto something that would offend or hurt them, or having a relative stranger do the same to me. Mrs. Horner’s drop rate has got to be in the high 70’s.
MT: I’m not seeing a horseshoe; it looks more like a polyp on the river’s colon.
MW: “I’m not normally a doctor who has this as an exam question, but I have to know: do you feel safe in your own home?”
RMMD: Why is June holding her phone like that? Did she have an argument with it and is still mad but needs to put it aside so they can work together to help the accident victims?
@But What Do I Know?: Re: DT logistics: Let’s see….squad car (with siren) to O’Hare, fly to Atlanta with a connection to Pensacola or Tallahassee, Florida state trooper cruiser (with siren) to Panama City.
Nope, no way Dick makes it in three hours, especially if he stops off for a six-pack of Landshark and a Cubano.
@Charterstoned: Yes, the very same one.
JP: Not since Tom Batiuk spent an entire week showing a character open a letter has comic strip action been so stultifying.
@Peanut Gallery:
‘But I don’t want to go among Pluggers,’ Alice remarked.
‘Oh, you can’t help that,’ said the Cat: ‘we’re all Pluggers here. I’m a Plugger. You’re a Plugger.’
‘How do you know I’m a Plugger?’ said Alice.
‘You must be,’ said the Cat, ‘or you wouldn’t have come here wearing that shirt from a long-closed bowling alley and have that ill-founded attitude of grievance against people with different races, creeds, and socio-economic status than yourself.’
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Funny. Gross, but funny.
@But What Do I Know?: #55: That’s what I was thinking. For most major US cities just booking a flight at the last minute and the drive to the airport would take about three hours. Maybe Tracy’s got one of Diet Smith’s space coupes parked behind the police station.
@Uncle Lumpy: #49: I’ve seen those Royal Enfield Desert Storms. They sport a really cool light brown khaki paint job. I wonder if his has the optional canvas saddlebags? RE once offered a commemorative Bullet gussied up to look like a WW2 British Army dispatch rider’s bike.
@Mysterion: #19: My vote for a COTW, or a Scrote at the very least.
@pastordan: I don’t care if the submission is from California, I know a Plugger Packers fan when I see one.
When a plugger says he has a new set of choppers, he doesn’t mean the kitchen gadgets that chop up vegetables, because pluggers don’t eat vegetables.
@Voshkod: Excellent!
JP – Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Crankshaft – Just a reminder: Lillian McKenzie is a loathsome hag.
@richardf8: #207 yesterthread
re. J. Bentham…his “quite real” corpse is currently on display in a plexiglass enclosure in the atrium of University College London’s Student Center where he sits in his chair, greeting all who come and go. His head has been replaced with a wax replica but his bones are real, hidden under his clothes. “In 2013, Jeremy Bentham’s body was wheeled into a UCL board meeting to be seated alongside his living university colleagues. He was listed as ‘present but not voting’. Today, he sits locked safely away in his own cupboard. The locks are in use as a result of numerous student pranks involving his body.” (solosophie.com)
I love history!!!
@Daisy: Given Bentham’s axiom – “It is the greatest happiness of the greatest number that is the measure of right and wrong” – I would think he would very much be in favor to student pranks involving his body. I mean, he’s not using that body anymore, and the pranks have got to make more people happy (except, perhaps, the discoverer of the body, wherever the students leave it).
Pluggers contributors must get ridiculed by their fellow pluggers when they’re depicted as a cat instead of a manly dog-bear. I should submit that to Pluggers.
Juliet Jones – Eve has described the photographer as “nutty” and “kooky.” Might as well start printing the wedding invitations now. Too bad it’ll all fall through.
It is nice to see that Eve has recovered from her bruised spine and can pose for fashion photos, although using the term “fashion” to describe those clothes is very generous.
Rip Kirby – Speaking of fashion, I love that 1963 bathing cap.
Vintage JP – I can’t wait to see Curly Perm’s reaction when he finds the revised vacation schedule in the copier.
@Tabby Lavalamp: And the brain surgery industry.
@taig: I hope Wilbur is on it, then, and planning to give his high dive another try. This time, he could end up on an island inhabited by cannibals. Cannibals and cats.
love is... being immortal.
Wait. Maybe that should be immoral.
It’s truly a shame that Warren Beatty couldn’t come to terms with Darren McGavin to appear in the “Dirk Twacy” movie, he would have made a perfect Wunbrow.
Luann-Luann is obvioulsy not a Monty Python fan or else she would ask what is her quest after asking her what her favorite color is.
@Sequitur:
love is… being immortal.
________________________
This is the story that never ends/ it just goes on and on, my naked friend. (Rinse and repeat)
Aunty Acid: Hey! Aunty Acid swiped Nehemiah Scudder‘s motto!
After Coffee pot head and all the rest, I, for one, am enjoying this plot to murder the cast of “Friends”. Why did Josh leave out the punchline panel where Chandler says to his would-be assassin “A spear gun?!? Could you think of an assassinational weapon more cumbersome?!?” Can’t wait till Ross and Ted Stryker engage in a bore-off to the death.
@Ukulele Ike:
I appreciate that, thank you :)
I apologize for being overly sensitive and paranoid myself.
The mental illness I mentioned yesterday, in fact induces paranoia in me.
I need to fight against it better, but thank you very much :D
@Charterstoned:
MW: Why does Pierre have a spiked collar? I don’t think he’s used in dog fights, but you never know.
Judge Parker: “What’s going on? Why… Why… Why are there so many police here?”
Good question. I’ve kind of lost the plot thread myself. Are these the good cops, or the evil meth gang cops here to shoot everyone? Did someone get murdered by the remorseful drunk detective that we don’t know about yet?
What happened to pleasant rides on horseback at the farm?
LUANN: Looks like once again the trufans are in a huff because someone dared to call Inner Beauty out instead of coddling her. They seem to want everyone around Luann to treat her like the cornfield kid from The Twilight Zone. “That’s good Luann, that’s real good.“
@Sequitur: I just hope her spleen is OK.
@Read Em and Laf, JP: Sally Forth will finally permutate Judge Parker, and Ted Forth will send a command to all the cops in Spencer-Parker-Driver Land: “Execute Order 66.”
Thus, Cavelton is decimated.
@I speak Jive: #115
Good old Rip Kirby – I love these old-fashioned capers! This one looks rather light-hearted!
@Bryan: But if Luann tops herself because she can’t handle a bare minimum of criticism, what will become of the strip without its title character?!?
@Voshkod: #113
For sure – university students and pranking go hand in hand! What I found particularly droll was the inclusion of his corpse as “present but not voting” at the board meeting. :-)
@taig: I’m starting to think that Luann getting Barney Googled out of her own strip might not be the worst thing in the world. Her main role now is giving the marginally slow-witted readers out there a character they can feel superior to.
@jroggs: I hesitate to even discuss a Luann plot or trope in any serious fashion, but I teach high school English so I have some experience with this kind of stuff.
“The only defense I see to that claim is that the prompt is too vague to assess. But telling students to “write about a classmate” (whom, I remind you, is almost definitely a total stranger) after asking them a pair of personal questions?”
This is actually a common enough ice breaker that I’ve used in my classroom (and participated in, reluctantly, at other jobs). I think you (and others) are reading too much into “personal questions.” Generally there’s some guidance about being appropriate. “So, what brought you to this creative writing seminar” is a personal question. “Where did you grow up” is another personal question. Also, Tara Starr isn’t a stranger. That said, it’s a stupid fucking prompt and very vague, especially for a feeble-minded cretin like Luann.
this is a creative writing course, after all, and they’re not being creative if they aren’t doing something transformative with those answers.
Not necessarily. “Creative writing” isn’t always fiction. Memoir is category of creative writing. So is the personal essay.
“Lots of ways for that to go very badly between people who don’t know each other, even with relatively good intentions (which Luann characters don’t have).”
I guess? I’ve done these kinds of things dozens of times, and no one has ever asked me a question like “how big is your penis?” or “were you a victim of child abuse?”
@Hibbleton: “A teacher asking a question and then humiliating the student for their answer in front of the class is all too familiar for parents of learning disabled children.”
But Luann isn’t a learning-disabled child. She’s an aimless, directionless adult. And she’s not being humiliated.
MW: Poor Estelle has dementia! Not funny, but that would explain Estelle easily falling for a scam with Artur, showing up again at a vet’s office after causing a scene in public while on a date with him, and repeatedly taking back Wilbur despite his mistreating her cat.
Maybe Estelle could go live in that same senior facility where Mary forced Hannah Dingdong to move.
@Bryan: Luann accidently wishes herself into the corn field, thus ending the threat forever. Rod Serling steps out from the shadows, cigarette dangling from his fingers, and says “what the hell was that?”
Pluggers: Tony the tiger’s decline was slow and inevitable. He was once the terror of the jungle, his vivid black and orange fur, his huge paws making hardly a sound on the turf as he stalked his prey, his keen nose, eyes and ears ever alert, the awe inspiring roar that could be heard for miles…and his fangs – those dreaded fangs that caused one’s heart to stop at the sight of them…but the Humans came, and encroached on his once-wild realm, and he was reduced to being a cereal mascot. Cereal!!! Felines don’t eat processed, sugary cereal, he inwardly screamed! Then, he begin to see a way out…the Pluggers came!! He would erase the stripes, adapt to wearing cheap human clothing (on sale at K-Mart), file down his breathtaking canine teeth and…voila! He was the perfect humanimal! But…he was still a carnivore at heart, and in order to fully fit in with Plugger society, he had to constantly suppress his urge to kill…kill…KILL! AND EAT!!! It was so hard, especially when in the presence of Sheila Roo and Henrietta Beak…but he did it. Somehow, he did it. And he smiled. “Look at them choppers,” he thought as he posed for the camera.
@Bryan: #132
That is almost the saddest thing I’ve ever read about this strip…yet it is undeniably true…
@Daisy: Daisy, if you’re looking for a Tabant car I found two for sale in the US in the classic Auto Trader. One is a 1987 baby blue station wagon version for $13,950. The body and mechanicals look good but the upholstery is in terrible shape. The last owner was probably a werewolf or kept bears as pets. The other is a 1964 station wagon for about $11,000. The seller claims the engine and transmission are newly rebuilt. The previous owner was probably a small business that used it as a promotional vehicle and it’s covered with their logos. A new pastel paint job would be required to make it look authentic.
Dustin: The real joke here is that anybody could even consider not saying anything mean to Dustin, not to mention make a resolution not to. Everybody is mean to Dustin; that’s the basic premise if the strip.
RMMD – I finally figured out what’s going on with this story. Beatty is responding to complaints about the lack of medical content by cramming a year’s worth of medical issues into a couple of weeks. Then he can spend the rest of 2023 on his true passions, roots country music and boredom.
@Guillermo el chiclero: #138
Thanks for the tips! I would actually love to see a Trabant restored to its original…glory (?) by one of those auto resto shows that are so popular now…my hubby and I enjoy them. The transformation of decrepit old wrecks into their original pristine – even improved condition – is really astounding and fun to see.
MW: Would ya look at that close-up of the Fab Two!! Man, they are BACK, baby! Well, I’ll admit Pierre is hammin’ it up a bit with the eyeroll, but I think everyone will forgive his eagerness to connect with the audience, after all this time… Maybe that’s a symptom that comes with parasitic infection? But of course it’s ACTING! All of our clients are certified pest- and pathogen-free! I can’t speak for Dr. Ed – I’m not his agent.
Yeah, the spiked collar seems a little out-of-character for sweet Pierre. But he’d like to project a Bad Boy image – wants to compensate for being neutered, I guess. For his method-acting mindset, he thinks his “infection” was an STD.
Hey, Intern – have you placed the merch order for those collars yet? Yeah, I think the Basic Black will be OK… no need to confuse the public with color choices. And get only the adjustable model, not a range of sizes. That way we’ll qualify for the volume discount. It should fit “most” dogs…
@Charterstoned: Cannablistic cats, perhaps?
@Daisy: Who’s up for an exhilarating round of Bentham-tipping?
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: No good; cannibalistic cats would eat other cats, not Wilbur. You want carnivorous, omnivorous, anthropophagic, or mayophagic cats.
The Duplex: To go along with bad drawing, bad pun.
Luann: I assume that Mrs. Horner was hoping that one of the questions Luann, or her classmates, might ask would be something open-ended, like “What do you remember from your early childhood?” You might not get good answers from that, but on the other hand you might get a few hundred words from that.
JP-I’m glad my dream of Sam and Gloria hooking up, and adopting the Judge’s dogs is still not completely off the table.
Half Full: Charlotte gives good advice to Wilbur.
Mary Worth: Interesting. How does one “think” a gulp?
Phantom-The Ghost Who is Deadly But Not Silent
Zits-Good luck making out with her in the backseat.
@90 Peanut Gallery:
Also, with all those cushions, the horse appreciates having her farts farther away.
And now I can’t resist translating the Spanish Rex Morgan M.D.
Sometimes Spanish can say a lot in few words.
Ripley’s has a “Your Anus” joke today.
GT: Last week Bajaras managed to focus on a single plotline (“Is there a Mrs Coach Mrs Coach Thorp?”) for a whole three days, but apparently that’s not a feat he can repeat every week.
Phantom: “Dammit, she’s shooting someone, isn’t she? I took my eyes off her for a second!”
S4th: Gosh, it’s an exciting altercation in a Ces strip! I am way more invested in “Ted and an old man yell at each other” than I am in any aspect of the Judge Parker nonsense. For one thing, I actually understand what this conflict is about.
SH: “Also, it turns out there’s some evidence I’m going to be gay, so that’s something to think about.”
Mutt & Jeff – See, kids? You can’t do THAT with your newfangled flat-screen TVs!
@Sequitur: Ooh, I like “shakedown June” a lot better than regular June!
@Ukulele Ike: #144
I am quite sure that’s been done many times, amid great hilarity!
@Horace Broon: #154
“S4th: Gosh, it’s an exciting altercation in a Ces strip! I am way more invested in “Ted and an old man yell at each other” than I am in any aspect of the Judge Parker nonsense. For one thing, I actually understand what this conflict is about.”
I can finally understand why the Forth’s neighbors shun them. What dolts.
@vince: I don’t have to look it up, it’s permanently etched in my brain.
@Daisy: “Thanks for the tips! I would actually love to see a Trabant restored to its original…glory (?) by one of those auto resto shows that are so popular now…my hubby and I enjoy them.”
YouTube is your friend!
Restoration #1
Restoration #2
Searching for “Trabant” gives you a lot of hits!
“The transformation of decrepit old wrecks into their original pristine – even improved condition – is really astounding and fun to see.”
I like watching YouTube videos of experts restoring old computers and other electronic equipment. It’s a similar experience.
Don’t worry. This guy can’t hurt you.
@Daisy:
With a Trabant, literally anything would be an improvement.
BTW Aunt L. and I watched “Go Trabi Go 1 English Subtitles” on Amazon/YouTube last night, and were pretty amazed: tightly plotted, well acted by the main cast, killer soundtrack, good car jokes. Ironic subplot involving Grandpa’s Japanese camera, when cameras were the single thing the DDR did right. Funny, moving story of three people shucking off a lifetime of socialist grimness on a vacation to Italy. Good way to spend 98 minutes.
[Haha, modbot dinged me for soCIALISt. Fuck you, modbot.]
Robert Morley was 44 in 1958.
Thanks to Comics Time & formaldehyde, he’s still doing fine, if a bit green.
In case anyone’s wondering why Dick Tracy is worried that a murder victim would be enbalmed instead of autopsied.
Speed Bump is a bit gruesome today.
@Uncle Lumpy: “modbot dinged me for soCALest”
Modbot did the same to me. It’s usually not this hard on posters, I don’t know what is wrong. Maybe wait an hour and then see if it is still hard?
@105 Calvin’s Cardboard Box:
I see what you did there.
Well, I didn’t actually “see” see it. I understood it.
@109 Francisco Arrowroot: Blasphemer! Pluggers definitely eat vegetables. Granted, you have to dunk ’em in thick breading before deep frying them and serve ’em with a side of Ranch.
@Sequitur: Also interesting: Does the “gulp” mean that Estelle really thought the vet would have forgotten that bizarre evening? The one he’s sold the rights to for the new TLC show “My Date from Hell”?
MW: We need some new characters in this strip. They’re all beginning to melt together into one dysfunctional character.
@Daisy: You know what would be cool, a Trabi turned into a Fast and Furious style tuner. Since it’s a rear engined layout we can use the motor from a Toyota MR2 sports car, modified with Abarth performance parts. Bet it would go like a bat out of Hell. Once saw at a car show a 1959 Nash Metropolitan with the wheezy little Austin engine replaced with a Toyota engine and drivetrain.
RMMD: New title for this comic: June Morgan, Super Nurse!
@Charterstoned: H.P. Lovecraft’s Mary Worth, featuring a mass of flesh and mouths moaning disfunctionally, and a lone woman provide the mass with advice. “Ah, the Mouth of Lies and Mayo, how are you today, Wilbur? And here comes the Mouth that Smells Like an Old Man, Toby, my dear.”
@171 Lord Flatulence:
Well, it sure ain’t June Morgan, Supper Nurse!
@Guillermo el chiclero: #170
Holy carburetor, Batman!!! With flames on the sides!!! Flames!!!
@Charterstoned: #169
Sadly, the plotlines are all starting to melt together too. I may have to start reading vintage Mary Worth for *real* storytelling.
DT: It looks like even in Dick Tracy’s retro universe declaring yourself to be a diehard Jan & Dean fan will arouse the suspicions of law enforcement.
Pluggers: Can we assume “Cheese” is part of Mr. Cat Plugger’s protocol to test whether he can still catch mice with his new teeth?
@Rube: #168
I know if I ever saw Wilbur Weston belting – uh, croaking – out tunes at a karaoke bar, I wouldn’t forget it for a long, long time…
@Uncle Lumpy: #162
I will definitely have to watch that one – sounds like a great story with lovably cute cars to boot! Hey modbot -SOCIALIST!!!
9CL: As has been the case all week, I have no idea and I’ve resolved not to ask.
C-Shaft: Love the “POW” poster that magically appears over Lillian’s head. Do you suppose it’s actually signed by the guy who did the intertitles for the Adam West Batman series?
GT: Oh, keen. The Thorp-obsessed Luke Martinez is going to be the chief competitor during basketball season as well. And I guess we can expect to see him in a baseball cap come spring. Maybe some kind of wacky Martinez-ing during the summer? Anyway, this charming character will never wear out his welcome, we can be sure.
HtH: Someone finally got up the nerve to transplant their jokes about snooty boho galleries and incomprehensible 20th c. art to a Medieval setting, and I for one am tempted to stand up and applaud.
MW: Estelle had everything associated with Wilbur Eternal Sunshined out of her brain shortly after said karaoke night, but the world keeps conspiring to bring it back.
SSmith: I’d take that bet, if only because I’m pretty sure Hootin’ Holler doesn’t have a divorce lawyer.
@Daisy:
@Uncle Lumpy:
Well I’ll be – my innocuous comment is awaiting approval too! Ha! (I used the verboten word that begins with “S” and ends in “T” with the name of a popular medicinal in the middle)
RMMD: you know June has been wanting to say STAT.
@175 Daisy:
Where do you find vintage Mary Worth? Comics Kingdom doesn’t have it.
Well, I guess a member could go back in the archive and read old Mary Worth strips starting in 1998.
I checked. That’s as far back the archive goes for Mary Worth.
@gardenornament: #160
I *love* vintage technology – I still remember taking a college sociology course that required us to utilize computer punch cards. Punch cards!
@gardenornament: #160
P.S. thanks for the YouTube links!
@Daisy: Just strap a couple of JATOs to the back and watch that Trabant soar . . . for a few seconds before entering a ballistic tumble and probably breaking up from aerodynamic stress.
Zits: Sara’s gonna take it home and sleep with it.
She’ll have a tailpipe up her [REDACTED BY MODBOT]
@Sequitur: I don’t want to see this version of Titane.
@Daisy: She’s a lot older in the vintage comics.
@Ukulele Ike:
But how many Earths fit inside Hugh Grant’s ego?
@vince:
Look! A Wagon Wheel!
@Sequitur: I think there are hardback books available, something to add a quizzical flair to your library shelves.
Barney Googled and Snuffed out Smith: Hope they give Wallace’s folks some cheese for their ” furst ” anniversary.
@191 Charterstoned:
You’re probably correct but personally, I’m not interested in reading old Mary Worth stories. I only read the current story so I know what y’all are talking about. My wife refuses to read it.
@Sequitur: #182
I think that may be the extent of “vintage” viewing online. Ebay has a lot of “Mary Worth” memorabilia including really old strips (1950s, 1960s, 1970s) that can be purchased in lots…BUT to my delight, I discovered that the sellers post photos of each strip in the lot they’re selling and one can actually read the strips that way. :-) If you hover the mouse over each strip, it will zoom in and you can easily read the dialog. One Sunday strip I read from 1953 has a character that looks like a prototype for our beloved Wilbur Weston! And Mary looks really, really elderly.
@Daisy:
(I used the verboten word that begins with “S” and ends in “T” with the name of a popular medicinal in the middle)
_____________________________
Right here in River City?
@Sequitur: #194
Personally, now that I’ve discovered many of the really, really old MW comics on Ebay, I’m finding those vintage stories to be *way* more interesting than the current bland-as-tapioca-pudding offerings.
@Garrison Skunk: #196
“Right here in River City!! Ya got trouble, friends…trouble!!!”
DT: The policeman and the beatnik surfer are playing rock, paper, scissors to determine which one of them goes out to pick up coffee and donuts while they wait for Dick Tracy to make his three hour tour to Panama City.
@Charterstoned: #189
Yes, she is. June B. really brought the character into the 21st century with her updated looks.
@Voshkod: #186
Holy cow! But what a ride that would be!!
@Baja Gaijin: Also acceptable Plugger Vegetable: boiled for three hours with a hunk of sidemeat.
@Avoiding the Madding Crowd:
out to pick up coffee and donuts while they wait for Dick Tracy to make his three hour tour to Panama
_____________________________
If not for the courage of the Surf City Dude the Eyebrow would be lost/the Eyebrow would be lost The Tracy shot holes in the Dunkin’ Donuts guy
@Baja Gaijin:
@109 Francisco Arrowroot: Blasphemer! Pluggers definitely eat vegetables. Granted, you have to dunk ’em in thick breading before deep frying them and serve ’em with a side of Ranch.
_________
So “Seinfeld’s Newman was a Plugger? “Vile weed!”
@Baja Gaijin: Hey! When they’re feeling exotic they’ll go for tempura batter and a side of teriyaki. Then they’ll boast about what adventurous eaters they are!
Panama City, in addition to being a town in Florida, is the capital of the country of Panama. I hope you are pretending to not know this. Yeah, the Van Halen song is not about the Redneck Riviera. Sorry to be the one to tell you.
Dick Tracy-“Oh and one more thing.”
@Baja Gaijin: Thank you for your sympathy. I have renewed my vow to rant about June’s hair only once a month, but I certainly appreciate others providing the amusing insults it deserves.
Why do you do this to June, RMMD? Even the blond son has been given a less-horrifying head shape, but June’s awful hair never changes.
Nancy Classics-Sluggo extends something and shoots Nancy in the face with a liquid.
@Ukulele Ike: Also accepted as vegetables: french fries and potato chips.
@210 I speak Jive:
And ketchup.
I just learned that David Crosby died.
I watch a video of CSN&Y’s Ohio every year on May 4.
@Rube: Yeah, I was wondering about that too. Does Estelle herself have a very vague sort of memory, per the old song lyrics? *Cue Streisand*
MEMM’ries…
May be beautiful and yet…
What’s too painful to reMEMMber…
We simply choose to forGETT…
If so, that could explain a lot.
@Sequitur: Of course. How could I miss that?
@Daisy:
You’re very welcome!
@TheDiva: Re MT, bwahaha!
LUANN: I’d like to see Mrs. Horner get out of this class and back to the rest of her apparently-rewarding life ASAP. But first I want to know what happened to the black stray cat that Luann gave her because Luann’s dad was allergic to it. Or was some other DeGroot allergic? Anyway, the cat was more appealing than just about any character I’ve ever seen in LUANN, and while I wasn’t surprised it disappeared from the strip, just disappointed, I’d like to know that it had a happy fulfilled life with Mrs. Horner even if it has joined the Great Purr by now (can’t remember how old it would be).
@Where’s Rocky?: That description gave me a genuine laugh!
Today’s Blondie doesn’t make a whole lot of sense because it’s 47 degrees in the diner.
Anyone who doesn’t miss the Dustin pole-vault arc can send me $15.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if Mason from Sally Forth made a guest appearance in Luann’s class?
Anyone?
Hellloooo????
JP: “We’ll need an ambulance — STAT!”
“Roger, but is that an overly dramatic, cliche, I-watch-too-much-television STAT, or is it like a real STAT?”
“Okay, it’s the cliche one. Send one as soon as you can. I’ll leave them a note.”
@Poteet: 208 “… I have renewed my vow to rant about June’s hair only once a month, but I certainly appreciate others providing the amusing insults it deserves…”
My theory is that abomination on her head is a cheap wig she got at Harry’s Discount Wigs and Foundation Garments after losing her hair due to forgetting to leave the x-ray room when the machine was on. If you look at the vintage strips she has an attractive (although 1950’s) hairstyle. (Harry’s wigs, get it? OK, I’ll leave on my own, no need to get the hook.)
@brendancalling: LUANN: And she’s not being humiliated.
Yeah, try telling that to the trufans. They’re acting like Mrs Horner just yanked Luann’s pants down in front of 50,000 people.
@Daisy: @Charterstoned: #189
Yes, she is. June B. really brought the character into the 21st century with her updated looks.
…while Karen M. kept her sensibilities firmly rooted in the 18th century.
@Philip K: Might be in Panama or Florida, until we find out. Neither one of them are part of Cuba, though.
@223 Bryan:
That’s coming next.
@221 Sally…Sally Fif:
I’m okay with that so long as the teacher is changed to Ralph.
@220 Clarissa explains nothing:
What’s your address, phone number and social security number?
@Clarissa explains nothing: Whoa. I didn’t even know it was possible to put out a hit on a comic strip storyline.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: The motel Art Dekko booked Paul the Forger into looked suspiciously Floridian to me.
@Ukulele Ike: Thanks, now we know why it’s Plexiglas and not tempered glass.
@Voshkod: The inclusion of “anthropophagic” in this list assumes a fact not in evidence. Might I recommend “coprophagic” as a replacement in this case?
@Peanut Gallery: ” See, kids? You can’t do THAT with your newfangled flat-screen TVs!”
Flat-screen TVs are good in many ways, but what about the poor mice they made homeless? Technological progress is a heartless bitch!
GA: If anyone else is still awake and gives a crap, the Friday GA begins a story that will apparently focus on the sex lives of elves.
@Ukulele Ike: I must confess that I thought he was headed to the one in Panama, but as you point out, it really doesn’t make a difference.
CS: “Uh, Batty, the term is ‘Grammar Nazi'”
“NO! NO! It’s ‘Language Scold’! ‘Language Scold’, I tell you! Nazis are bad and evil! She is NOT evil!”
{tommy lee jones, disapproval, reaction image, newspaper, no country for old men}
Curtis: No, thank you for your food offer, but because you’ve offended my thin veneer of sensibility, I will ruin the food you purchased.”
Luann: “I’m an oldster who only remembers music from the 1940s, but I’m hip enough to have a non-flip phone!”
@Poteet, GA: Pinis did it!
*looks at Scratchy* That’s Wendy and Richard Pini…. together….
“@But What Do I Know?: Re: DT logistics: Let’s see….squad car (with siren) to O’Hare, fly to Atlanta with a connection to Pensacola or Tallahassee, Florida state trooper cruiser (with siren) to Panama City.
Nope, no way Dick makes it in three hours, especially if he stops off for a six-pack of Landshark and a Cubano.”
The drive from Pensacola to Panama City alone is a few hours by car, so that’s clearly out.
Assuming this is Panama City, FL, there are actually direct flights there from Chicago. But considering the time it takes to check in and get through airport security, there’s still no chance to make it in three hours.
(I’ve flown to that part of the world a few times, but that was via Atlanata and I don’t remember if the airport was actually in Panama City or if it was in Ft. Walton Beach. Or perhaps those cities share an airport.