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Gil Thorp, 1/18/23

You might not know it based on his lackluster coaching record, but Gil is capable of shrewdly planning ahead. He’s facing an abrupt firing if he fails to deliver a basketball championship, and he surely won’t get that sweet, sweet endorsement money he’s been too good chase after once that happens, which is why he needs to establish his new “Gilpa” persona now, while he’s still a draw. Hopefully by the time he’s fired, fans of the Fox Used Auto Extended Universe will have come to accept him as one of their many beloved characters and he can keep getting paid work.

Gasoline Alley, 1/18/23

Not sure I fully understand the theological world-building that underpins Gasoline Alley. In this universe, Santa is an immortal gift-giver who takes post-Christmas vacations and runs his operation like a modern businessman, but is also (see the halo) Nicholas of Myra, a 4th century Greek bishop who has ascended to sainthood and can intercede with God to protect the lives of mortals, a category that apparently includes non-human elves. Did Jesus also die to save elfkind in the GasAlliverse, or did they have their own Savior? Really hope we’re going to explore all this rather than waste time on Bunky’s inevitably failed business venture.

Dennis the Menace, 1/18/23

I was an extremely dorky child and teen, as evidenced by the fact that my big teenage rebellion consisted of skipping school a couple times a month so I could go by myself to the downtown library and read. But in my opinion, even that’s more menacing than doing it to spend quality time with a kindly old neighbor lady.

Blondie, 1/18/23

J.C. Dithers doesn’t seem like the most tech-savvy guy, but I certainly would hope that DithersCo’s IT department can set up web filtering software to prevent their employees from wasting entire afternoons writing intensely erotic roastfucking fanfic on AO3.