Holly jolly horny Christmas
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Gasoline Alley, 12/22/23
OK, I may have to revise my previous statement of approval for Gasoline Alley’s wild, no-rules approach to the mall Santa game. Folks, the men (and occasional women) who put on the red suit and the fake beard are just doing their jobs, part of which involves the emotional labor of making everyone feel welcome and seen; do not take their openness towards you as an invitation to live out your longstanding sexual fantasy of making it with a thousand-year-old elf/nature spirit.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/22/23
If you need more proof that Parson Tuttle is a theologically unlearned fraud, consider the fact that anyone who decided that a lone cow was a perfectly acceptable substitute for a nativity scene probably hasn’t read Exodus 32.
Dennis the Menace, 12/22/23
You know I’m on a big kick lately about how the Lockhorns are millennials, but the truth is that today millennials are between 27 and 42, so probably most adult legacy comics characters, especially those with younger kids, are millennials. Anyway, Alice mostly ignoring her son’s Christmas-related whining by idly scrolling on her phone is a particularly millennial way to turn the menacing tables on him, in my opinion.
Mary Worth, 12/22/23
Sorry to obsess about Brad’s hat, but I’m clearly not the only one! Would he be less insufferable if he dropped the hat and let his hair free like God intended? Maybe! He could at least try it!