Love is … somewhere. Not in the air necessarily
Post Content
Mary Worth, 2/14/25
Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody! Mary Worth would like to take a break from Dawn’s romantic crisis to show you what real love looks like: it looks like two old people who haven’t experienced drama or conflict or strong emotions of any kind in years going to the same restaurant they always go to and then maybe home for six to nine desultory minutes of hand stuff.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/14/25
Speaking of romance, I’ve decided to duck in to Mother Goose and Grimm again and discovered that Mother Goose’s love life is in a tailspin. Did her boyfriend Hiram leave her for her hairdresser? Has she decided to go to the bar the two of them used to hang out at together to find a new lover? Can birds and humans have sex, in the world of Mother Goose and Grimm? Do birds have teeth there? Do dentists see patients in their own homes, rather than an office dedicated to the practice of dentistry as they do in our world? Has Mother Goose, a bird, put in false teeth specifically to attract the sexual attention of this handsome human dentist? Honestly lots of questions here that I’m not sure any of us are prepared to learn the answers to.
Gil Thorp, 2/14/25
Oh yeah, I’ve been lax in keeping you up to date on Gil Thorp developments, which are as follows: Mudlark semi-superstar Rodney Barnes agreed to let some students make a short documentary film about him, and he came across like a real egotistical jerk in it, so now everybody hates him and won’t pass to him. I like the last panel here, and I assume we’re supposed to imagine “I’m open” echoing sadly as Rodney realizes the enormity of his various blunders.
Dennis the Menace, 2/14/25
Dennis, this is just deep stupidity that would make every single Keane Kid — yes, even PJ — ashamed. The only person you’re a menace to is … yourself.
160 replies to “Love is … somewhere. Not in the air necessarily”
MW:
“Oh, Mary. This elegant, moonlit walk along the seascape…I know I’ve asked you before if you would formalize our commitment and I’ve been rejected, but….”
“Stop it, Jeff! — you’re subjecting me to pier pressure!”
MW:
“You know, Mary, as I reflect on the dynamic of my relationship with you, it occurs to me that St. Valentine and I are kindred spirits!”
“Really? — how so, Jeff?”
“Well, I’m a martyr, too, in a way!”
THWACK
RMMD:
Good to see that Jeremiah Johnson, to Augie’s left there, was able to take a little time off from his taxing rugged outdoorsman duties to knock down a cold one.
MW:
“I’m going to ask you again, Mary: ‘Will you marry me?’ — but I already know what you’re going to say. I mean, you’re like a nun.”
“Well, I am a creature of habit!”
MW I’m just imagining someone unfamiliar with this strip being confronted with the term ‘Bum Boat Dinner’ and immediately opening up an Urban Dictionary tab.
MMG “Also, I’m cold. Why are we standing outside the bar..?”
MW: Has Mary dyed her hair? Blue hair, loves drama, gives terrible advice – does Mary have a Tumblr?
Banana Triangle: Yep, definitely Rosemary’s kid.
MW: Mary’s face looks a bit shrunken in P2. She needs to suck the life force out of a homeless man stat before she continues her date.
“I’d like to have you at my place and remove all your teeth. Birds are not supposed to have them, it’s abomination!”
Dennis making a Valentine for his mom? Not menacing! Now, Sonia Hobbs’ sons making a Valentine for her? Very menacing!
Frankly, I’m with Rodney here. If you play basketball and you are shocked and offended that talented players are egotistical jerks, you have chosen the wrong sport — hell, any sport!
DtM: Despite being a stay-at-home mom, Alice is wearing make-up and drinking from a cup that has what may or may not be an initial that is neither hers nor her husband’s. Well, at least it’s not Mr. Wilson’s, though I’m now stuck with that image in my head.
MG&G: “But of course by ‘ask you over to my place’ I still mean for sex, with me and my wife. Haven’t you heard of negging?”
DtM: “Just kidding! It’s kissing my ass!”
GT: “Yo, Tobe!” [looks dejected] “…or not, Tobe.”
Dennis’ mother is glad she lives in a 2-D dimension, otherwise her view of the Valentine would be covered by Dennis’ body
Since Josh mentioned “Love is…”, apparently today love is getting dressed for a special occasion. Notice I didn’t say “dressed up.”
DtM: Dennis is holding off giving his mom the heart in his back pocket until he can produce a retch worthy fart.
He’s more of a douche than a menace.
Ahahah, it’s funny because the other players think they can ostracise Rodney because he thinks he is better than them, but soon Gil will dress them down mercilessly because they need Rodney to have the ball to win and the truth is that that some players are better and thus have more human worth than others!
The summary for “Love Is…” on Bill Asprey’s page is “It features a naked boy and girl expressing their love in various situations, and also has a clothed version for The Mail on Sunday,” which is perfectly accurate and makes me worry that the FBI is going to bust me for clicking the link.
Dennis’ mother keeps the thermostat high enough to wear a miniskirt and a dress without sleeves indoor in February! The real menace is climate change!
Yes, you’re open, Rodney. You were open and sincere in the documentary and it drove everyone against you. The lesson is, repress all feelings except rage!
JP: Wait. Barnard College does require a senior thesis for its graduates. Factual information ruins the world view I’ve built in my head for this strip: unmitigated nonsense.
MW is testing the limits of readers who acknowledge that raw animalistic physical displays of affection happening “between chapters” is valid storytelling.
Luann v. BG&SS: Toni will enjoy her Valentine’s Day goodies over several days. I hope Loweezy wasn’t looking forward to anything but treating Snuffy’s diabetic coma. It’s gifting like this which makes Hootin’ Holler the perennial winner of the morbidity index sweepstakes.
Dear joshreads dot com:
Please never use “hand stuff” in reference to Mary Worth again, ever.
Love, Danny
P.S.: Ever.
MW: As the full moon rises behind them, Mary begins her monthly transformation.
MW: That was such an exceptionally drastic subject change that I went to re-read yesterday’s strip to see if I’d missed a day or something. I had not.
Dennis the Menace: Alice honestly couldn’t care less if Dennis finds his Valentine or not. She’s fixed up her kitchen spotlessly, put on a nice outfit for the dentist who will come to make a “house call” while Dennis is at the Wilsons (Martha knows the score, why do you think Dennis is over there all the time), and — crucially — she’s dropped some cream and a couple of tabs of acid in her morning tea. She’s high as balls and going to score on Valentine’s Day, and best of all, be relieved of the “love of her life” for a few precious hours. Yes, life is looking pretty good for Alice Mitchell this February 14th. Against that, what’s a sticky, misspelled greeting card?
MW: Shouldn’t Mary’s white hair in this lighting be the same color as the white streaks in Jeff’s hair? Or is this a sign that her hair dresser adds a subtle blue tint to make the white look less dingy?
Heathcliff: Buff pugs. Bugs.
GT: From what I remember of the documentary arc, Rodney’s friends were alongside him during all the filming. Did they just not pay attention to what he was saying the entire time?
Dennis the Menace: She’s going to take the bait and ask ” Well what do you have in your pocket, then?” That’s when the real menacing begins.
DtM: Let’s leave unspoken what Alice is doing with her left hand.
Mary Worth: Aw, it’s a celebration of love among the grey-ashy-pallor-due-to-congestive-heart-failure set. Turn up your supplemental oxygen to three liters a minute and check for mottling, kids, it’s going to be a hot one tonight!
MW – So, Mary’s begun adopting the Woke look by dying her hair blue. She’s really gonna look funny with the oversized glasses and the nose ring.
Mother Goose: He’s one of those asshole dentists that go on Safari hunts to kill endangered species. Getting the actual Mother Goose would make quite a trophy.
Baby Blues: His son is going to be equally confused by the bedroom pics and raunchy note he finds in his lunch.
Zits: Jeremy knows he owes his existence to the fact that his parents had sex that one time and now they now have venereal disease that has eaten through their brains like Swiss Cheese.
MW: Lest they be accused of being papists, both Jeff and Mary omit the word ‘Saint’ from the day.
@Lawyerbob:
Are you Beavis or are you Butthead?
DTM: The pressure cooker in the background provides some quiet symbolism.
Interesting how Josh’s caption for today’s Mary Worth also works for Pluggers.
Pluggers want everyone to know that even with their old decrepit bodies and plethora of health issues both physical and psychological that they still like to fuck.
Slylock Fox: Today’s 13 year old artist appears to have sent in some kind of furry porn that might also have a partially exposed breast? I’m sure all their friends on DeviantArt will be super jealous.
Mary Worth – Mary wore her protective scarf this evening. With the full moon out the werewolves and vampires are extra active, but that is one of those subjects the people at Santa Royale downplay lest it hurt the homes values.
Mother Goose and Grimm – Shrinkflation is strong in Mother Goose land. The dentist is holding a dixie-cup sized glass, while Mother Goose gets what amounts to a thimble full of wine.
Gil Thorp – Rodney Barnes will learn an important lesson from all this – brand management, There is too much NIL money on the line to let the fate of your future fall in the hands of some amateur student filmmakers.
Dennis the Menace – Short-term memory loss is one of the side effects of the experimental ADD medicine the Mitchells put Dennis on. But it’s a small price to pay for his Mom to enjoy her morning coffee.
I think someone forgot to write “Jack Elrod” in that giant bubble in Mary Worth.
MG&G – “I’m a dentist. That’s why I’m holding this little plastic cup full of mouthwash. Did you know this joint has a Rinse & Spit Bar?”
DtM: If it was up your ass you’d know!
CS: Ah, the old “senseless murders” cliche so popular in the news media. Take *that*, drone reporters of news, you’ve just been smacked down by Ed Crankshaft, noted expert on the proper use of the English language! Bet you feel pretty sheepish now, eh?
MW: “Mary, I . . .”
“Let’s not spoil it, Jeff.”
[“Shit!”]
GT – I understand the author’s desire to throw in hip references to what The Kids Today are into, but that’s not how you spell YouTube.
Dennis – You may not remember where you put that valentine, Dennis, but your mom knows where you’re going to pull it from.
Zits-“Happy VD. I’m late.” “Are we grandparents now?”
MW-Phew! We skipped the two weeks of Mary and Jeff talking about what they were going to order.
FC-Mommy’s gentlemen callers gave her those Valentines.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Whatcha doing, Otto?”
“Something very practical”
“I soak the leaves, and they freeze into a solid mat”
“It’s a toupee for the Jolly Green Giant!”
Mary Worth: Maybe a moonlight stroll isn’t the best idea for Mary — she looks 20 years older than she did when we last saw her two weeks ago. Are you getting enough meddling in your life, Mary? Are you??!!
Gil Thorp: I like this old-timey kind of basketball, with a bunch of skyscraper-tall players discussing strategy while barely moving around a court. Of course you’re open, dude — it’s not as if anybody here is trying to guard anyone.
Dennis the Menace: Dennis has already forgotten his romantic Valentine’s Day idea for his mother, which was to hock chocolates at her head with his back-pocket slingshot.
GT panel 1: “I’m open! These guys have no faces! No eyes! They can’t see me shoot! I can hit a hundred! Pass me the ball! I’m open!!”
MW/ “This is what, our twentieth Valentines Day Mary? Any chance for some heavy petting?”
“Just kiddin’, mom,” Dennis said as he turned to walk away. Pointing his thumb in the direction of the Valentine card in his back pocket he growled menacingly, “Kiss my ass.”
Ziggy has gone full “Marvin” and I have to begrudgingly respect the artist for having the audacity to publish a cartoon where a bird shits on a fish while a pantless gnome person watches from across the room. John Waters is going to love this debauchery.
Mary Worth – Better hand stuff than mouth stuff. I mean when she wants him to try her muffin, or eat a salmon square, I have to hope those aren’t euphemisms.
DTM: Oh come on. Dennis is lulling Alice into an “ain’t he cute” moment. Were they accorded the luxury of a second panel, Dennis would suddenly whip out that valentine with a flourish and a loud “BAM!” straight outta Funky Finger Productions. Is such a “gotcha” menacing? That’s for Dear Reader to decide.
MW: Meanwhile, Dawn sobs alone at home. “All I wanted was a date on Valentine’s Day for once! Why is that so much to ask?”
RMMD: If you look at the skewed expression on Teach’s face in panel two, what he’s really saying is, “Christ, he was a fucking moron.”
Pluggers: Pluggers buy their sweethearts the cheapest candy and flowers that the gas station sells.
H&L: Ditto’s warped view of the spirit of the day leads him to hypercompetitive taunting. “Ha haaa, suck on that, Sis, you loser!”
JP: Since her entire family is full of well-known busybodies, you’d think Sophie would love the chance to snoop around in whatever this is. I guess New York can change a person.
Bizarro: I’m always puzzled when cartoonists make the choice to draw bare ass naked Cupid vs diaper wearing Cupid. Is there some kind of powerful cartoon lobbyist group or committee that is involved in this?
Hey, Josh, don’t knock the six to nine desultory minutes of hand stuff.
DtM: No menacing, but maybe should be tested for ADD.
GT: Why are Rodney’s teammates shunning him? He didn’t badmouth them during his filmed ego trip, and his attempt to go pro at 17 ended in failure so he’s already had his humble pie. Frankly, they’re the ones who look like jerks, playing keep-away like a bunch of second graders at recess rather than leaving their beef on the sidelines.
MW: Confirming my belief that Valentine’s Day is primarily celebrated by the most boring, basic couples who think a token remembrance on a minor saint’s feast day counts as romance.
GT: I call the Over/Under of the number of players admitted to the hospital as a result of Gil’s over-the-top retribution workouts at 2.5.
CS: “Has there ever been a sensible murder?”
This may not be the best question for Ed to ask while having lunch with two men, one of whom lost an election by one vote when Ed forgot to vote for him, and the other whose mailbox Ed destroys on a regular basis. And these are Ed’s two best friends. Everyone else in town likes him less.
C’shaft: Oh there will be, once a mob of angry parents locks you in your own bus and sets fire to it.
DT: Awwww man, not a cliffhanger! You mean I have to wait a whole twenty-four hours to find out what sort of wacky Nazi-based villain identity the former Fred Totten has chosen for himself?
Dustin: Speaking of boring, basic couples who think a token remembrance on a minor saint’s feast day counts as romance…
Luann: Toni knows how Brad’s cooking is likely to taste.
GT- Sorry RB, but when 3 defenders are around you, you are not “open” (actually, this strip confirms he is an egotistical jerk, as ball hogs ALWAYS thinks they’re “open”)
JP- Gee Soph, did it occur to you that you could have said “no” and do your thesis instead? Once you said ‘yes”, shut up with the whining about how it supposedly “cramps your schedule”)
GT: Isn’t Rodney Barnes supposed to be an exceptional player? They have a much better chance of winning if they pass to him, this whole “lockout” situation might cost them the game, but it’s apparently worth it to not have him play because…. logic?
@TheDiva: I haven’t read today’s Dick Tracy, but I thought that that plot was over? I mean, when the heroes celebrate over a big plate of nachos that usually means the end. Right?
Gotta say I’m enjoying Rachel Merrill’s art on Gil Thorp. The extreme closeups with no discernible emotion have been replaced with a competent use of negative space and well-rendered facial expressions. Now if only something would happen…
I did not know female foot binding was still a thing in the Dennisverse.
I once had a theory, or maybe it was a theory for a different comic. That Dennis has been aging backwards Benjamin Button style for years. Now the dementia is kicking in.
@Joshua K.: I remember the time Ed killed a fellow bus driver who was having a heart attack by trying to get the longest line of cars possible behind him.
Anyone knows what happened to readallcomics? Why does it return a 404 now?
MW – I don’t know where exactly Santa Royale is in southern CA, but it looks to be immersed in billowing dark smoke….
MG&G – No…I’m a homicidal maniac….
GT – But I’m, open, Tobe…I’m open…pitch…catch…bareback…I’m open…I’m open, Tobe…I’m open….
DtM – Yeah – my ass, I don’t remember….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Slylock Fox Spanish to English.
MW: Mary has nothing on Maria Ouspenskaya.
DT: “I’d like to correct you, doctor. It’s not Fred Totten….it’s Obersleutnant Walther Totentanz, King of the Nazis!!!! MWAH HA HA HA HAH!”
”You’re incarcerated in an institution for psychopaths, Mr. Totten, so skip the histrionics or I’ll tase you.”
“Ah, shit.”
It’s at least a little menacing to imply to your mother, on her favorite holiday, that you’ve been hanging out with Joey so much he’s started to influence you.
Crock Spanish to English.
Rodney’s expression in the last panel reminds me of Wile E. Coyote when the shadow of the truck that’s about to run him over falls on him…
Henry shaves his wood.
Another deep lore dump from Mary Worth. The moon, a pure white pearl in the heavens, lacking the scars and basins that we know so well. Where is Tycho crater? What of the great Mares, the Sea of Serenity, the Sea of Crises, or the Sea of Tranquility, which in our world bears Neil Armstrong’s ‘one small step?’ There is only one answer; the Worthverse did not endure the Late Heavy Bombardment of the Neohadean and Eoarchean eras. Neither Earth nor Moon was pummeled by the orbital residue of failed planets. Which means the cratons of the early Earth were not disrupted back into a molten state, plate tectonics never occurred, there was no split of the early supercontinent Rodina, the lack of solar system remnants prevented the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event, the dinosaurs survived and evolved into humanoids that replicated our own mammalian culture to a surprising – but not exacting – extent. So, now you can all think of Dawn’s cloaca, or Wilbur’s need for massive caloric intake, or Mary’s cold blood.
Mother Goose and Grimm-“Well then let me tell you that I don’t spit. I swallow.”
@Sequitur:
I miss Henry.
@Anonymous: Cupid is mature enough and skilled enough at his job to a) have the power of flight, b) discern who among us is lovelorn, and c) shoot tiny arrows into them from great distances. So he’s clearly potty trained but caught up in some FAA regulations for airborne cherubs after complaints from those in his flight path. And as humiliating as the diaper is, he’s still too dignified to carry around an empty Snapple bottle like some common Uber driver.
@Liam: Th’ hell with Henry. I miss Polly and her Pals.
Gil Thorp-“I’m open.” “You’re not my type.”
Oh, crap. I”m a plugger.
@Voshkod: So, now you can all think of Dawn’s cloaca, or Wilbur’s need for massive caloric intake, or Mary’s cold blood.
I was about to expound on the hot penis-in-cloaca action being promised in MG&G, but your take is somehow both worse and better.
@Anonymous:
Cupid is the son of Venus, the Roman goddess of love and sex. He can fly around butt naked if he wants.
Mary Worth: I’m now fairly certain that the point of this storyline (insofar as any Mary Worth plot can have a point) was Moy trying to make all the abusive relationships she’s accidentally written into the strip look better. “See, Dirk yells at Dawn and calls her names! Mary and Wilbur and Ian and Jared and all the others don’t look so bad now, right?!”
Mother Goose And Grim: I’m pretty sure dentists don’t actually do their jobs in their own houses, so I’m guessing that Mother Goose is being invited back to the home of a tooth-themed serial killer.
MW: full Moon, oddly enough the Moon is in fact full about now (two nights ago, in fact).
MW: I may not the first to float this idea, but could Jeff possibly be a Mary-designed android? When she’s not making muffins, she could secretly be killing it in robotics.
MW: Aren’t these two at least a little bored with the boat rides, followed by Bum Boat dinners, and the gentle strolls on the pier talking about how lucky they are to have each other??? …. TBH – I think I would love this myself! Send Dr. Jeff over, stat!
Too bad Baja Gaijin isn’t around. We could have sent him a Valentine.
What a particularly depressing installment of Mary Worth. Doesn’t anyone think of poor Dirk? All alone on Valentine’s Day, his toe broken, with no #$**^#&% to &#@!$!!. Dawn at least gets to spend Valentine’s night in bed with Jared and Jess–Jess isn’t into it, but, what’s she going to do–voice an opinion?
Mary Worth: “So, how did you and Mary spend Valentine’s Day, Jeff?”
“Well, she blu–”
“Cool!”
“Let me finish. –ed her hair.”
CS: “Has there ever been a sensible murder?” Buddy, I’d settle for a sensible death from natural causes. Especially if it’s you. Or Skip. Or Lillian. Or Dinkle.
Rodney gets no respect..no one tells him his fly is open. RIP Mr Dangerfield.
Arlo & Janis – Attention, Brooke: This is how to show that a couple is in love and attracted to each other.
Crankshaft – That waitress is being really cheerful to assholes who don’t leave tips.
Pluggers – I was going to say that Mr. Jive and I are pluggers, but after some of the comments I’m not sure if I should.
Speed Bump – Leonardo da Vinci.
@Hibbleton: Mary must have run out of virgin’s blood bubble bath.
@Cleveland Mocks: Re Pluggers – A real plugger waits until February 15, when the candy is 50% off.
SlylickFox And Comix For Kinx: How to turn a pear into a parrot.
MW – Today’s strip needs one of those soap-opera voice-overs saying “The role of Mary Worth is being played today by Helen Mirren.” Except Helen Mirren used to be screamingly hot and Mary never came close.
GA: Today, as longtime readers know, is Skeezix’ birthday. 104 to be precise. In a real shocker, though, we also get to see Augustus Mutt come out of the closet and declare his long-hidden love for Walt Wallet, albeit with the cheapest Valentine’s Day card he could find.
@ectojazzmage: With the price of foie gras and now eggs being out of reach for a typical dentist’s salary, he’s just joining the “nose to tail” trend.
@Ukranazi Stepan: Why does it return a 404 now?
________________________________
“Return a 404″…. is that what the kids call “doing 96” now?
@Ukranazi Stepan:
I have no idea. It’s been like that for about two days now.
MW-The traditional sunset cruise where they dump the body of Dawn’s latest failed relationship.
Mara LLave: For those of you that are interested, here’s a link to a screenshot of the November 17 comic that was removed. I got it from the Internet archive: https://imgur.com/a/ajZBbQa Don’t worry, the plot does not advance whatsoever.
Dennis Minus Menace: The menace becomes apparent in Dennis’ planned Valentine Delivery System: the card is glued to the rock in his slingshot. Hope Alice manages to duck when he gives it to her, or else she’ll end up looking like that other “Alice” who is probably getting a card from Mr Air Conditioner, Kurt Vonnegut or else the Tic Tac™ riding aliens.
@Anonymous: MW – Today’s strip needs one of those soap-opera voice-overs saying “The role of Mary Worth is being played today by Helen Mirren.”
______________________
“The role of Mary Worth is being played today by Gearhead Gertie.”
RexMDWorth: I have a feeling that Jerk Guy from RexMD is gonna run into Dirk the Jerk from Mary Worth and join forces! Can’t wait for the carnage!
CS:. And that’s why there are”more and more senseless murders”. Instead of looking for their cause, Boomers have a refill and piece of pie as they cluck their tongues. (Note, I’m a Boomer too)
BLONDIE:. Real query– is it better to buy flowers in am knowing they will wilt before after work presentation, or to buy whatever is left that looks fresh at 5:20,pm?
RMMD:. Real query 2– must all teachers remember the names of every student they’ve had, no matter how the students change and how long ago it’s been? I couldn’t.
S4:. Coming up, puppy love!
@Lord Flatulence: That one was up for three weeks, at least. I memorized the final panel.
Mara Lllavve: ”We owe you an explanation for all the genocide and random slaughters.”
Gordin: “Then one will be given! Lemme have a sec to think one up.” Then he calls her a cello. Must be a pal of Brooke’s.
In the spirit of pure curmudgeonliness, I have to point out that dangling prepositions are in such poor taste, as in Josh’s MG&G comment, “I’m not sure any of us are prepared to learn the answers to.”
Tsk tsk, Mr. Fruhlinger. You will receive no Valentine from Ms. Daisy this year. Humph.
@Bob Tice:
#1 and #2:. Bob Tice, you are a master of wit. Will you be my Valentine? (in name only, I know your wife and she doesn’t mess around)
@Bob Tice:
Jeff’s next destination…the prisoner’s “dock”…
Ha ha ha ha!!! ha ha! ha…heh…
@Bob Tice: 34
GET THEE TO A PUNNERY!!!!
@Daisy: Grrr…meant “4,” not “34”!!
MW: I don’t know if the economics are the same in Santa Royale, but in my town we lost a lot of restaurants during the pandemic and Valentine’s Day reservations filled up very quickly this year amongst what remained. I had to call a lot of places until landing on an old standby, which happens to be out be the piers. Fortunately it doesn’t have a Gilbert & Sullivan-themed name, we’re not geezers like these two.
@Voshkod: #77
OMG…
Or perhaps the white disk is our sun about to go supernova? That would sure wrap up a lot of loose ends in the Worthverse!
CS: Reminds me of one of David Brenner’s stand up jokes.
“We’ve got to give him a decent burial.”
“As opposed to an indecent burial? Do we leave one of his arms sticking out of the ground?”
AC: “Oh, it went great! He found it really fulfilling, was a joy to work with, has been employed there ever since, and got promoted to senior signwriter last year! How do you think it went?”
Crank: “Seems like it’s getting dark over here, maybe you should go back to criticising the mayor! Hey, remember the time Ralph stood against him on the issue of potholes and I pretended to be in a wheelchair to highlight how bad it was?” (Actually, they don’t!)
DT: “State Psychopathic Hospital? Really? Still, at least it doesn’t look like Arkham, so that’s one cliche untouched.
GT: Back before I quit the strip, there were occasional glimpses of Rod being filmed, and it was never explained why, because “explaining” isn’t how Bajaras does things, so I’m vaguely pleased to finally have it resolved that it was a short documentary made by student film-makers. Maybe one day, I’ll even learn who Rod and Toby’s vape supplier was!
HtH: Well, in that case, it sounds like you care if the neighbour lady can hear you, Helga! If she couldn’t, she wouldn’t know what the next prompt should be! This is already a nonsensical situation, why make it worse through poor phrasing?
JP: Ah, the familiar cry of a Driver-Spencer: “But what about my problems?”
It occurred to me that Randy didn’t need to dump this problem on Sophie; they could have just handed the drone to the police and let them figure it out. But then I realised that the Parkers have to check the drone footage themselves before they decide their next step; if it does show Ann killing the guy then giving it to the police would be unhelpful.
OTF: So I think Musk has been going on about Mars since before the Safe Havens Mars mission in 2017, so I’m not going to say this makes the timeline issues any worse, but it’s still very confusing.
P&HU: Always here for a Peter S. Beagle reference.
RMMD: Portrait of a man who would absolutely be correcting Connor’s grammar right now if the balance of power hadn’t shifted when Connor stopped being a student and started being a big guy with the authority to chuck people out of the bar.
Luann: I thought cake pops were a fad from a decade ago, so of course people would get all excited about them in Luann.
@Little Guy: only if they lose because of it… if Milford wins, who cares?
@Sequitur: That is something to be proud of — plugger or not. I’m working on 30, myself.
Luann: So what’s going to happen when Toni wants Brad to make another batch of cake pops and TJ isn’t around to pull his ass out of the fire?
@77 Voshkod: Thank you indeed for this extremely informative 4.5 billion-year chronology of the Worthverse, which explains so very much.
@GarrisonSkunk: “Dawn, honey, have you considered dating a NASCAR driver? They’re used to wrecks, emotional and otherwise.”
@I speak Jive: A real plugger waits until February 15, when the candy is 50% off.
They only care about what’s the cheapest, though. Rather than use the post-Valentine’s discounts to acquire good candy, they load up on those chalky antacid valentine hearts because they’re 4 boxes for a dollar. Which they’re still handing you well into July. God, I hate pluggers.
@Guillermo el chiclero: So what’s going to happen when Toni wants Brad to make another batch of cake pops and TJ isn’t around to pull his ass out of the fire?
__________________________
His hinder will get singed.
@Daisy:
I am very sorry, Ms. Daisy, but to quote something that has been attributed to (perhaps incorrectly) the great Winston Churchill, “This is the type of nonsense up with which I will not put.”
That valentine has been stuck there since last year and Dennis never found it. Says a lot about Alice’s homemaking skills which are obviously subordinate to her dress-up fantasies.
@Sequitur: So, his mouth does work. Unless he’s poking holes in his face in an attempt to get some kind of nourishment in.
@Ukulele Ike: It’s weird being nostalgic for a comic strip that had come and gone before I was even around, but I loved Polly and read it whenever I could find it. It’s one of those with endearing characters and funny stories wrapped in incredible art that was — and still is — as good as anything ever put on newsprint.
@ectojazzmage: Mother Goose And Grim: I’m pretty sure dentists don’t actually do their jobs in their own houses,
_______________
Were home based dentists a thing in the 50s? On “The Dick Van Dyke Show”, Jerry Helper’s office was in his house and no-one raises an eyebrow at it.
@Daisy: You think a supernova would stop Mary? Have faith; even drifting through a superheated plasmic void, she’d have something to say.
@seismic-2: Mostly I just wanted to use the phrase ‘Late Heavy Bombardment,’ which is also Dirk’s signature move after six beers.
Dustin: Helen should by all rights be completely pissed at this, but she just closes her eyes and imagines her future a decade from now; partying in a tropical paradise with the insurance money after Ed croaks from diabetes and heart failure.
@GarrisonSkunk: Were home based dentists a thing in the 50s? On “The Dick Van Dyke Show”, Jerry Helper’s office was in his house and no-one raises an eyebrow at it.
I’m pretty sure I went as a child to a dentist, or maybe it was an MD, whose office was a portion of his house.
FC: I may run afoul of the rules for this website, but I CANNOT resist posting this video of the Valentine’s Day Family Circus special which aired on television in the mid 1970s. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOMAcdf-rY0
Luann: Well, it finally came out. Brad desires TJ’s butthole as much as he does Toni’s hoo-haw.
@Just John: #132: When I was a kid our regular MD and our dentist operated put of a portion of their house. I believe one of the optometrists we used did the same.
@I speak Jive: #96: The really hardcore plugger waits until the Valentines candy is 75% off and tells his significant other he celebrates his holidays on the Orthodox Christian Julian calendar.
@Guillermo el chiclero: The really, really hard-core Plugger saves a heart-shaped box and refills it every year from a bulk bag of generic chocolates.
Dustin: Ed Kudlick is a selfish, fat pig # 3512.
@Guillermo el chiclero: LUANN: You should know this strip well enough by now to know there’s never any actual consequences to anything our protagonists do. For example, remember how Brad and TJ put an addition onto their house in direct violation of what Frank (the owner of the house) told them? Never one bit of follow-up on that. Or how about when Luann let a friend sleep at her parents’ business and ended up letting the place get robbed? Any negative effects of that? Of course not!
@Daisy: “….I’m not sure any of us are prepared to learn the answers to, asshole.” — punchline to old classic Harvard joke
@Ukulele Ike: “….I’m not sure any of us are prepared to learn the answers to, asshole.” — punchline to old classic Harvard joke
What this has to do with washing hands after urinating, we Yale grads are unclear.
@Just John: When I was a child I went to a doctor whose office was a room just off his home. I remember three other doctors who had the same setup. This was in the 1950s and 60s, and in some cases it continued beyond that.
The doctor I went to had no nurse or office staff. He didn’t schedule appointments. He saw patients in the order that they arrived. Patients had to take note of who was in the waiting room when they arrived, then keep track of who went into the doctor’s office so they would know when it was their turn.
He did make house calls.
Luann: I have never heard of a fucking “cake pop.” It’s a cupcake on a stick? Where’s the improvement in that? You’re just going to end up with most of the cupcake on the floor, every time. This is just awful.
@Ukulele Ike: A cupcake on a stick would indeed be too big. The cake pops I’ve had are more like a chocolate-covered donut hole on a stick. The stick seems superfluous for eating them, but probably makes it easier to coat (i.e. dip) them. Anyway, they’re delicious!
@Cleveland Mocks: #127
I have always loved that citation; it is Churchillian in spirit if not in actual fact! Ms Daisy heartily approves!
@Ukulele Ike: #139
Ah ha – *that’s* what was missing!
@142 Ukulele Ike:
Like you I never heard of a cake pop, let alone watch them fuck, but earlier this week I saw an old Whose Line Is It Anyway show from 2016 where they had them in a “Helping Hands” skit.
@I speak Jive:
Did your pediatrician smoke cigars right there in the examination room? Mine did. Way cool.
@Bryan: #138: Yeah, I should’ve remembered that the Evansii shunt everything down the memory hole when it no longer suits the current narrative, like Tiffany speaking fluent French.
@Peanut Gallery: Thank you for the cake pop rundown. I guess the stick lets you keep your fingers off the frosting. (That’s how you get ANTS)
@Sequitur: 2016. What wild times those were! (waves a fistful of dollars) Baker lady, cake pops for all my friends, and take one yourself!
@Just John: I never went to a pediatrician, just a general practitioner. I do remember smoking was everywhere, although I don’t remember if anyone smoked in the doctor’s office.
@149 Ukulele Ike:
What’s unnerving is when the cake pops are looking at you!
@Sequitur: I never thought I’d hear myself saying this, but that….is too much….frosting. My pancreas is shriveling just looking at them.
@Braniff:
#133. FC:. Thank you, Braniff. I can’t believe I watched the WHOLE thing!
@152 Ukulele Ike:
Before I retired in February of 2017, I worked with a guy who, when we had cake or cupcakes, would eat the frosting only and leave the cake. And NO! He wouldn’t scrape the frosting off so someone could eat the cake, he’d lick it off so nobody else could have the cake!
@Sequitur: The S.O.B. You should have brought him a plate of fudge that he could have all to himself.
JP: By the way — when did Glen contract smallpox?
@155 Ukulele Ike:
Laced with copious amounts ofEx-Lax.
@Sequitur: Wow. I’m guessing this guy had the goods on the people who could fire him.
@Activist:
Well, of course. As Thomas Jefferson famously put it in his inaugural speech in March, 1801: “We are all Republicans. We are all Federalists. We are all Valentines.” No — wait a minute. That wasn’t exactly it, was it.
@Daisy:
Well, now, if I were to do a parodic take on the Bee Gees song which begins “Smile an everlasting smile…,” would that be a “play on ‘Words’ “?