Gloomy Sunday
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Hi and Lois, 3/23/25
Look, you know I’m a genuine fan of Hi and Lois’s new melancholy, punchline-free vibe, but I’m sorry, “spring is here, time to ramp up our loathing of our aging bodies” is too dark and I’m going to need them to ratchet things back a bit.
Mary Worth, 3/23/25
OK, we all knew from the get-go that Wilbur’s vacation fling with funny hair was going to show up at his condo from the get-go, but I don’t think any of us could’ve predicted that she would arrive just as Wilbur was sorting through his surprisingly diverse shoe collection as part of his plan to strike the perfect balance between aesthetics and endurance for his upcoming karaoke outing. Will Belle be into Wilbur’s whole shoe deal, will she be repulsed by it as somehow unmasculine, or will she not find anything noteworthy about a bedroom with shoes strewn randomly around the floor and bed? The answer will tell us all a lot about this lady.
Heathcliff, 3/23/25
Heathcliff! You probably shouldn’t be putting forth the effort to communicate with the dog community in their own language at all, and if you’re going to stoop to that level, it should be to make them quake in fear, not chortle at your wit. You’re letting down all your dogcatcher fans!
Luann, 3/23/25
“I guess you know you’re old when you used to live in a civilization with a strong literary culture but now you need drastic pharmaceutical intervention just to stay alive.” “Ha! Under no circumstances should you put that on a t-shirt, it’s way too depressing.”
153 replies to “Gloomy Sunday”
Luann-“Ah 1952. I was born that year,” Mrs. Horner says.
MW-Wilbur’s thoughts turn to love for his daughter.
FC-“We already know. Our mother sleeps around.”
You know you’re a Plugger when prescriptions replace subscriptions. —Stay in your lane, Evans.
H&L: Maybe it’s because I’m not a lady, but when I read ‘spring diet’ I thought of it in more biological terms, like “Winter is over, time to stop hunting small rodents and move onto fresh shoots and grubs!”
MW: I’m sure that this new plot with Wilbur’s Florida Fling will be depressingly hilarious, but for today I just want to appreciate the ridiculousness of Wilbur’s shoe selection process. Are you really considering those cowboy boots for your evening at karaoke? The Uggs? Are you sure you don’t want to consider adding your bathroom slippers and your ski boots to the lineup as well, just to widen your options a bit more?
Luann: Hey, quick tip, Luann: usually you let people make their own self-deprecating jokes. Otherwise, it’s jsut, you know, deprecating.
Mary Worth: Belle is showing up at Wilbur’s door? That’s crazy! (Also, Belle is interested in Wilbur? That’s also crazy! And her last name is “Batsfrey”? Super-crazy! And also, we’re going to be paying attention to yet another “bad Wilbur romance” story for several more weeks? We’re all crazy!)
Luann: A vintage Life magazine with Marilyn Monroe on the cover can be sold for hundreds of dollars, depending on the condition. Still, it’s not worth as much as the first issue of Playboy — with Marilyn on the cover and nude on the inside — but I’m guessing Mrs. Horner (get it?) has been keeping that one under her mattress for more than half a decade, and the condition isn’t saleable at all.
Hi and Lois: Sure, Lois is making the exact same point that Pluggers would make with a single panel and a punch line. But she should be happy to know that she’s probably the youngest, thinnest, most vaguely human-looking plugger in comics history.
Peanuts Begins – Patty better be careful. Charlie Brown forgets to wear his rubbers.
Say what you want about Wilbur – he can pull some talent.
MW: Wilbur considers his shoes carefully in case he and Dawn do a sand dance during their karaoke performance.
Luann:
“A proscription of a prescription with this description would give you a conniption!”
“Orderly, get this Luann person out of here!”
Mrs. Horner reads back-issues of Life ironically.
Slylock Fox: So Slylock is participating in the town’s revenue scam, in which they’ve declared the only spaces directly in front of a restaurant to be a “no parking” zone, while Slylock spends all day nursing a drink behind the big picture window and watching for violators. You’d think the accused would have a good case for against the government here, but since Slylock is both the arresting officer and the prosecuting attorney, I have a feeling Slick Smitty will be going to jail for a long, long time.
Sunbeam really needs to give some love to the adults in Hi and Lois. He visits Trixie nearly every day, but this is the first time Lois and her friend have seen him in months.
Running Mad on the Heath — Heathcliff launches into a rabble-rousing tirade, but his PR guy really knows how to convert it into a dog whistle. After he sets down his lamp, that is.
MW. Wilbur has a diverse shoe collection to compensate for the fact his huge gut means he normally can’t see his feet. It’s the same reason he collects a wide variety of condoms.
Sunday Mary Worth quotevestigation, confirmed, 2013 interview with the guy from the National, I am very disappointed. On point though.
It’s pretty harsh for Wilbur to thought-balloon that Dawn is like him, but I guess they did both get brutally rejected by her mom off-panel.
Wrecks Moregone:
Sets up one of the standard openings of porno but will never, ever, follow up on it.
Tony Arrista’s cat climbs the curtains. STOP THE PRESSES! No other cat in the history of God’s green earth has ever done such a thing! Tony’s gonna make a fortune exhibiting this amazing feline! And that’s not all! The animal can SLEEP UPSIDE-DOWN! What are the odds???? Tony, you lucky bastard!!!
DtM: “You think your boss is tough? My boss put two priests to death by fire for an improper sacrifice. Which reminds me, is Dennis doing anything this afternoon?”
MW:
I see he’s displaying his rolls
As he sorts through gaggles of soles
But trouble’s ahead —
As Hemingway said:
It’s Wilbur for whom the Belle trolls!
MW: Is Moy so desperate for attention/views that she’s resorting to making 2025 The Year of the Weston? Looks like it…but does she really think that a “Dad has a new fling that monopolizes his time so he doesn’t spend any time with me” storyline works for a college student rather than a prepubescent child? And with said dad being Wilbur?
Has Moy actually read her own writing or does she go in and out?
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
MW: All those shoes are slip-ons. I assume Wilbur can tie his shoes. It’s just that he can’t see the laces.
MW: Wilbur will find some way to alienate her before this arc ends and have her leave town like a bat out of hell.
She may be a Wilbur-obsessed weirdo but she is definitely not broken-in to the sick ennui that plagues the rest of the cast.
Suggested songs for Wilbur’s karaoke list:
Surprise, Surprise
Crazy
Bat Out of Hell
Day Tripper
At My Front Door
Don’t Come Around Here No More
AAGGGHHHH Spanish to English.
H&L: I don’t think we’ve ever seen the whites of Irma’s eyes before, and frankly I’d be perfectly happy if we never see them again.
MW: Too many comics these days don’t put in the effort, so I’m sincerely – sincerely – glad that Brigman took the time to draw both Wilbur’s Converse and his embroidered cowboy boots.
Heathcliff: We should be glad that Heathcliff’s writer is only vaguely aware of Diogenes’ deal (“smart guy”) and not the specifics (“living in a big tub in his own filth, masturbating”).
Luann: Don’t be so down on life, Luann! In our hyper-monetised, post-ownership society, you can still need dozens of subscriptions just to access services once considered basic public utilities!
Is it me or has Wilbur been displaying an excessive amount of smugness in his inner monologue? Talking about how he has a lot of shoes for a man and acting like he should be a candidate for sainthood simply because he’s letting his daughter (who is “so much like him in many ways”) pick the restaurant she wants for her “vegan kick” rather than overriding the choice since he’s paying for it with his lucrative funds from exploiting survival stories. It’s a good thing it’s inner monologue or that meddling crone would have your fat squishy head since the only praise allowed in Charterstone is to the High Lady Meddler herself.
@23 bGil Bates:
I’m A Snot
BG&SS spoils what could be a good tech bro-era (okay, maybe Enron-era) gag with the topper. We already know that Parson Tuttle will be in this one.
RMMD shows how to do this, if it’s absolutely necessary.
This Mary Worth arc, is giving eerie vibes towards that Simpsons arc, where Homer and Ned went to Vegas, got drunk and married two bar floozies.
Then in a later episode the floozies eventually followed them back to Springfield, and aside from one joke… I blocked the rest of the episode out of my head. Why? No idea and its probably better that way.
MW: I’d like to think that the narrator got so bored by Wilbur’s shoe choosing antics that they couldn’t help but yell “Ding Dong!” at him in the antepenultimate panel.
@The Rambling Otter: On one hand, the only reason that Fabiana fled Wilbur was because he caught her en flagrante with another man since she was definitely into all the money he could throw at her. On the other hand, the former Mrs. Weston, Iris, Estelle, the lady with the French bulldog, and Meagan haven’t seen Wilbur in a Speedo but he’s repulsed them all the same. Belle might very well be another Fabiana wannabe because we all know Moy is certainly known for being a creative writer who doesn’t rehash plots like cafeteria goulash.
H&L: Yes, it IS too early for Swimsuit season, that’s why they’re on sale, you nimrods…
@The Rambling Otter: And then the Vegas Wife made one final cameo at her funeral where Lenny talked about her overdose as though it were an awe inspiring moment while Marge sarcastically muttered about how she was classy all the way.
Mary Worth: Imagine this: from her hair and jewelry, her over-cheery “hi” and wave, and, well, “Belle Batsfry,” it appears this chick might be a bigger asshole than Wilbur Weston. Blows your mind, right?
@Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women: I dunno, Harry; the Fake Hamptons of Charterstone has a lot of assholes from Saul the Gnome Man to the Queen Asshole herself, Mary Worth. Can Belle’s Florida Karen powers out-asshole all of them?
Kitty Korner!
Howard of Providence, Rhode Island, wrote a popular horror story in which his cat named . . . uh . . . moving on . . . .
The Tsavo Man-Eaters, a pair of lions in Kenya, killed dozens of local workers on the Kenya-Uganda Railway in 1896!
@Needless Exposition: I think the syndicates simply gave up on editing any of their newspaper comic strip properties at least a decade ago.
Legacy comic strip creators do whatever they feel like, because they know they will never be fired, or even criticized. So we get what we get. The boring, awful Westons; Brooke McEldowney’s depictions of the kink dungeon at Julliard; Batton Thomas droning for weeks about how much he loves comic books at age 78; Pluggers trying to convince us that being an old, fat, lazy, ignorant, penny-pinching, closed-minded slob is charming; Judge Parker and Rex Morgan living the Elon Musk lifestyle, if Elon Musk were also a contestant on The Price Is Right; Jules Rivera reinventing Mark Trail in a style that wouldn’t even work as a parody; and Crock continuing to exist for some reason.
Most other legacy comic strips are in re-runs. Or, they’ve adopted the Walker-Browne model of handing control to their nepo babies, and not even having discernible jokes anymore.
Most likely this is our introduction to the aforementioned Belle, but without a formal introduction can we really be that sure? Could not this excited blonde of a certain age be Iris, wine drunk after a fight with Zack and looking for a safe albeit extremely regrettable one night stand? Or Toby, so desperate to satisfy Ian’s cuckoldry kink that she’s finally stooped to showing up at Wilbur’s doorstep? Maybe Estelle after a misguided attempt at a mid-life glow-up and seeking feedback from her ex for some reason? Or is this an entirely new character just here to sell Wilbur on some terrible multi-level marketing scheme?
No but seriously, all the women in this strip look pretty alike, don’t they?
H&L: I wouldn’t worry about your beach bodies, ladies. Your husbands are a lazy alcoholic and a romantically stunted golf addict; there’s no way you’re getting near anywhere tropical in your future.
Luann: Man, Mrs. Horner has a real nice set up! Most assisted-living residents have a small cubicle with a bed, a television, and maybe some dying flowers from the last time their family visited, but she’s sitting pretty in a spacious living room complete with doilies on the couches, black-and-white portraits of ancestors, and vintage copies of Life. She must be smuggling from the home’s medicine stores.
MW: I’m sorry, but I don’t see Wilbur as someone who would own a wide variety of shoes “for a man” or indeed for a person in general. This is not a man who takes great care with his appearance, let alone attempts to coordinate outfits. He would have one pair of grubby loafers he wears 99% of the time and one pair of black dress shoes he trots out for special occasions like ex-girlfriend’s weddings and fish funerals.
MW: “Thuprithe! Huh-huh. You thaid “ding dong.” Huh-huh. Cool.
Luann: So after all this talk about dating rules, she’s just showing up at his workplace now?
Pluggers: Pluggers wear Hawaiian shirts to hide stains, even though Hawaiian shirts make you look even fatter than you already are.
Heathcliff: I spent way too much time trying to figure out if there was some philosophy joke I was missing with the translator being named Diogenes
MW: Oh no, Belle is really Kate Gosselin! Run for your life, Wilbur, before she holds you hostage for her reality show nightmare, making you impregnate her over and over until you have no life left in you.
MW: Kate Gosselin’s looking rough.
C’shaft: So Battom has been receiving undeserved accolades for quite a while now.
Dustin: Sure, Dustdad is a joyless, bitter, self-righteous, sexist jerk, but Dustmom stays with him because….um….she was raised in a strict Evangelical household and believes putting up with this idiot is her holy purpose in life?
JP: Give Glen credit, he’s realized the easiest way to break up with Sophie is to give her a cushy job far, far away from him…
Lio: Lowly Worm, NOOOOOOOO!
Luann – That’s some real pluggers material there, innit?
Mary Worth
Belle arrives at Wilbur’s door and her “fresh” hairstyle suggests that her brain suddenly exploded out the back of her head as it noped all the way out.
She expresses a vacuous yet ditzy persona-
Coincidence?
MW: “So many shoes to choose from. A pair I stole from each of the women I stalked. Iris loved these Ugg’s. That South American grifter and her line dancing boots. Estelle’s loafers. The woman I killed back east was wearing these Chuck Taylor’s. And of course Belle will never miss these Birkenstocks. Which of you will I choose today? Or should I get out Mary’s sensible pumps?”
Where is everyone reading the CK comics today? I can’t find them in any site including the “home” one
@TheDiva: Perhaps Wilbur has a shoe kink that Mary has been putting the kibosh on and because he’s letting her write that stupid column, he gets an hour a day to peruse through it.
H&L: There’s something quite sinister going on here. Irma, as we all know, leads a miserable existence and is trapped in a loveless marriage to her worthless drunk of a husband. She, therefore, resents Lois’ relative happiness and seeks to destroy it as quickly as possible. Lois, meanwhile, is so easily manipulated that she not only matches Irma’s defeated tone, she’s even mimicking Irma’s facial expressions. What I’m saying is, this all ends in tragedy. Dateline, keep your eye on these two.
MW: It’s disturbing to me that, in his thoughts, Wilbur has to remind himself of some basic facts, i.e. he is male and has a daughter. I’m sure that, whenever he interacts with Mary, his thoughts are: “Mary Worth is my friend! We’ve known each other for years! She means me no harm!’
Heathcliff: I like the careful, circumspect wording of the “Kitty Korner” panel. “Look, Tony Arrieta has made some pretty bold claims about his cat, but we don’t necessarily vouch for any of it. This is still a newspaper, you know. We have standards.”
Luann: “Is this an old magazine?” Uh, yes, Luann. That old magazine you’re pointing to is, in fact, an old magazine. I hope she keeps that going all day. “Is this a couch?” “Is that a coffee table?” “A door? Wow! I’ve heard about these things! Do they really allow for entrance and egress from buildings?”
MW: Look at those sneakers. They’re pristine! He’s probably had them 15 years and has never worn them.
RMMD: Relax, Summer, it’s just Augie slamming the toilet seat back down. He’s very considerate but a little clumsy.
RMMD: “Sophie, I know your heart lies in charity work, so I’m prepared to offer you a position that doesn’t pay anything.”
@Lauralot: After it was revealed that she abused her ex and her children (one of her sons in particular was practically treated like an animal), she pretty much stopped looking human and more like a bitchy harridan with a bad haircut.
@Joe Blevins:
On Luann : let’s go on. Luann wanders outside, sees a yellow butterfly, and while in awe of its beauty, asks “Is this a pigeon?”
MW: So, Batts Belfrey’s going to horn in on karaoke night. Will we get competing PDA’s in song form? Wilbur serenades Belle with ELO’s “Ma-Ma-Ma-Belle” and Belle reciprocates with Smashing Pumpkins “Mayonaise?”
@The Rambling Otter: “I blocked the rest of the episode out of my head. Why? No idea and its probably better that way.”
Really the best strategy for dealing with the Simpsons after Season Five
@Voshkod: He named his cat “The Ghost and the Darkness”?
@Liam: Mrs. Horner appears to be older than 73, but maybe she was a smoker.
RMMD: Having now seen Summer without her usually omnipresent ponytail, I’ll stop snarking on the ponytail. She looks better with it.
Mary Worth: The fact that I knew Belle would be a white woman because I knew there was no way that Moy would depict an interracial relationship is so depressing.
Heathcliff: “Ricky also likes to use his telekinetic powers to levitate about the room and torture me into feeding him moist food or just for fun. My life has become a living hell. Please help me.”
Luann: I like the side-eye Luann is giving Phil in the second panel. The “this is my best relationship ever” phase is already wearing off and giving way to the “God, this guy sucks” phase.
Mary Worth: Of all his shoes on display, I find Wilbur’s Uggs the most predictable, even if they are the least suited to California’s Mediterranean climate. But the wrestling shoes are the most intriguing, and by “intriguing,” I mean “disturbing,” because what the hell does a tubby middle-aged newspaper columnist need such ankle support for, if not an active, and very imaginative, sex life?
Heathcliff: Here is a list of the cats featured in this comic, from most interesting to least interesting: (1) Ricky (2) Diogenes (3) Heathcliff
Luann: I am trying to imagine anyone Luann’s age (or any age) so easily impressed. “Is this an old magazine? Wow!”
Luann: Astonishingly, that appears to be a real cover from Life magazine with Marilyn Monroe, dated April 7, 1952. Which Greg Evans has kept for the memories, and because 1952 is the closest to sex we’ll ever get in this strip.
Listen, there’s a reason Luann is so impressed with an old magazine. There’s no button, no scrolling, and wait…is that QR code in Marilyn’s hair?
@Tonio: Anything that ends with Wilbur in pain is fine with me. Bonus points if Belle hooks up with Dirk to torture and degrade both of them.
It has been deeply puzzling to me as to why the creators of Mary Worth have selected reality TV star Kate Gosselin as the model for Belle Batsfrey. But it all makes sense when I remember the simplest possible explanation: they hate their readers and want them to suffer. Hey, the scientific method really does work!
LUANN: Luann: “Wow! It’s like the doctor’s office experience brought right there to your home!”
LUANN (2): Of course if Luann were a accurate-to-life kid, she’d be more surprised to find a magazine with a modern-day date before looking at it quizzically and wondering which part of the assault rifle it goes in.,
@Schroduck: Are those supposed to be Converse? Because they look more like wrestling boots to me, and a guy like Wilbur could easily stand in for King Kong Buddy. That said, nice detail on the cowboy boots.
@Sequitur: WTF am I listening to?
Phew! Thank you Belle for calling Wilbur a ding dong off panel just in time to stop him from choosing to go with socks and those sandals behind him.
***
You know what’s fun? T-shirts with entire damned paragraphs written on them so that people will need to you stop long enough to stare at your chest and think to themselves a mildly amused “True.”
Frazz – The insufferable little asshole pontificates about doing instead of watching, but he’s watching while someone else is doing.
And Frazz needn’t worry – he’s still superior to those people who don’t engage in extreme exercise.
Pluggers – I hope that Rhino Man never has dinner with Dirk Whatshisname.
@Bono Vix: I read them at the Seattle Times site.
Luann: Where humor goes to be put on t-shirts octogenarians appreciate.
HnL: “Ahh, finally!” Lois exclaims, as the 100-megaton bomb hits.
MW: Wilbur is caught off guard. He doesn’t have his pre-sex Speed-o on!
MW: “Dawn, this is Belle. She’s….’fun.’”
Phantom: I’m no expert, but don’t guns that old generally explode in your hands if you try to shoot them? Oh, silly me — of course all 57 Phantoms spent their free time oiling it and keeping it in top repair.
JP: Please let Sophie’s new charity job “far away” be in an absolute hellhole. No more free Paris apartments for you, blondie: you get your pick of a swampy bug-infested village in the Congo, or Muncie, Indiana.
CS: Sadly, to this day, Battom still hasn’t realized his aunt was humoring him. Really, though, I’d like to know what’s going on with those three guys in the background.
9CL: Have you ever wanted to read 9 Chickweed Lane? Hopefully, you have your dignity to think of.
MW- Megacorp is an interesting name for a strip club.
Pluggers: More ups and downs in the life of Carl Rhinowski. Last time he was so poor he had to wear his old work shirts with his name on them, even though he was retired. But now he can afford a spiffy Hawaiian tourist shirt! And from the look of the background scene, he’s taking a Hawaiian vacation! Or maybe those “mountains” are the Pluggerville landfill.
I do appreciate that the Sunday Pluggers even has background detail. The weekday version is usually a nightmarish Plugger closeup in a blank void.
@But What Do I Know?: For me it’s nothing beyond Season 7, if only for the ‘Mother Simpson’ episode. For me that’s the last one that nailed the balance between laugh-out-loud humor with genuine wit and sentiment that didn’t feel manipulative.
Season 8 had some good moments, but it also has the ‘Homer’s Enemy’ episode which looking back was the ‘jump the shark’ moment for me.
MARY WORTH: Y’all mean! This just shows Wilbur cares! Given the the last pair of shoes he had were tattered, taped-up monstrosities that would put that indigenous basketball player from Gil Thorp to shame, he clearly bought these shoes just to show off and impress us, the audience. He wanted to prove to the viewers how “fashion forward” he can be (in a “no homo” sort of way of course.) Respect the desperation!
MARY WORTH (2): By the way, my suspicion is that the tables will be turned and this lady is going to be Wilbur’s “Wilbur.” Mainly that this unstable lady will stalk and annoy Wilbur with her needy demands of validation and Wilbur will amuse* us all by responding to such behavior with no sense of irony or self-awareness.
*Well it’ll amuse me more then possible scenario #2, which is that the arc will be about Fake Gosselin and Dawn (ugh) COMPETING for Wilbur’s affection in a way that is disturbing and cringe-worthy.
@Hibbleton: If Wilbur could tie knots then nature would have run its course after the second or third nervous breakdown
HI AND LOIS: Irma: “Let’s put our eating disorders off until May, ok?” (I mean, judging by her visage, Lois is already a mass of skin stretched tightly over a skeleton as it is!)
@The Rambling Otter: “Spring Break”
FC: “Mommy says we’re going to have a Reduction in Force by the end of the week.”
Dustin: Letches be letchin’.
Mary Worth: “A doorbell? In the middle of casual sexism practice? This is highly irregular!”
I didn’t realize Heathcliff had become such a low-effort affair. They now live in White Void, NM, the “bonus panels” consist of a poorly rendered image of Heathcliff under a spotlight that I mistook for “Heathcliff on a t-shirt.” Even the Kitty Korner! features a cat whose distinguishing trait is “climbs stuff.”
“Heathcliff, technically a comic,” isn’t a perfect catchphrase but you gotta emphasize your strengths.
CRAYON SUNDAY:. Crankshaft and For Better or for Worse
NO CUSSING:. Beware of Toddler and Curtis
Luann: I love reading old magazines. They provide a window to the past.
At my office, I found an old “LIFE” with Leadbelly on the cover.
It was supposed to be an inspiring story of a man coming out of the Jim Crow South and one of the nation’s worst prisons.
But the story was so filled with condescending language, backhanded “compliments” and old stereotypes and racial descriptions that my skin crawled.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Fixed it for you (It’s how Mary is continually able to write Wilbur’s strip after all.)
MW: Wilbur is so addled by Belle’s sudden appearance that he dresses in his Speedos and flip flops for his night out with Dawn. My, how the crowds at My Thai and the karaoke bar will chortle with amusement!
@2+2=7: To edit newspapers you need an editorial staff, and those things cost money. Think of the poor shareholders’ profits.
Mara Llave: Goodness. A four-month break (except for the one strip explaining they were taking a four-month break) and this was what they spent it on?
Heathcliff – The historical Diogenes was known for his biting wit, so I have little doubt about what the scenario is here.
Heathcliff: “Now is the time for all good dogs to come to the aid of their country.”
Diogenes (in dog-language): “Heathcliff is so dumb, he thinks a ‘dandelion’ is a big cat that dresses like a fop!”
Luann – “Ha! I want a T-shirt that says that. And I want to make you wear it, so everyone will know what an ass you are.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Need some help with your swing?”
“I’m not sure what the problem is… I think maybe I’m leaning too far forward”
“Well, obviously”
PBS: Wow, is Pastis disconnected from reality.
In Today’s America, the wolf would be the honored hero, Pig – loser, undeserving of sympathy and the government figure would be dragging off “the language guy” to Gitmo for DEI reasons.
@UncleJeff: #85
Sadly, that was the norm for that era. I remember reading an article about the blatant racism of early 20th century National Geographic publications, which (for example) referred to the Australian Aboriginals as “blackfellows.” People who yearn for the nostalgia of the “good old days” of the ‘50s somehow forget how deplorable that era was in its maltreatment of minorities.
@UncleJeff: #94
Yes!!!
@Daisy: People who yearn with nostalgia for the “good old days” consider that a feature, not a bug.
@Bob Tice: }#18
OVATION!!!!
@astroboy: MW: I won’t say Summer looks good with her ponytail out, but at least it shows that she has hair strands and not just a yellow plastic cap painted on her head with a rubber molded tube glued on at the back
Luann-Join us in several months as Mrs. Horner says that she played the first Lucy Van Pelt in ‘Peanuts’.
Luann-Mrs. Horner then throws her drink in Luann’s face.
Luann: It’s awkward for a writer to depict someone laughing at a joke that he wrote, because it pulls the audience out of the story. TV sitcoms struggle with this. Comic strips are a static medium, however, and there’s absolutely no reason to step on your own joke by showing another character laughing at it.
Lockhorns: They always save some good ones for Sunday.
LUANN: Mrs. Horner: “I want a t-shirt that says that!”
Girl, please! That little “witticism” would barely qualify for the rejected submissions pile of Pluggers.
Ah, Wilbur’s shoe collection; the detritus of a lifetime of failed attempts to reboot his personality as something more glamorous. Sorry Wilbur, if nearly dying twice won’t do it I’m not sure becoming a ‘cowboy boots guy’ is going to help.
High and Lower – The reason for the downtrodden looks on their faces is that Irma and Lois both have huge bushes and are concerned how much fugitive fuzz would be peeking out of those bathing suits.
Mrs. Horner “OK Phil, thank you, that’s all. You and Luann can go fuck in my bedroom.”
Pluggers: Rhino-Mann has done well since he was pawning his 9″ tube-type TV for, I assume. drinks money. Reminded me of Ray Milland in Lost Weekend.
Pluggers: Bluto Blutowski of Animal House fame wore Hawaiian shirts for that exact reason. Does that make him an early proto-plugger?
@I speak Jive: #72: re- MW and Pluggers: No sweat to Carl. If Dirk gets too critical Carl will just gore him with his horn then trample him into the dirt.
Since Tony hails from Jersey City NJ his only choices to write in about his cat is climbs things or kills things. He went with the less tragic.
@Ukulele Ike: #97
Sadly, you are right…
@Guillermo el chiclero: Bluto is what Pluggers think they are. Fat, drunk, and stupid, but they think they can get away with it because they’re the life of the party. To put it mildly, they are not. In college, they were the guy who doesn’t know when they’ve had too much, overstayed their welcome, annoyed everyone else, and harassed at least two women. In their late adulthood, they’ve got a cheap house in a cheaper suburb, crushing personal debt, a blue-collar job they’re not even any good at, mediocre children they think far too highly of, and still drink too much beer every weekend. God, I hate Pluggers.
Looking for a new adventure hero?
From the makers of Rip Haywire comes Squid Williams!
RMMD: “Summer! You’ve let down your hair… and took off your glasses! Why, you’re… not half bad.”
Cut!!! Augie, for the last time – it’s “beautiful” Stick with the script or you’re going back to the minor leagues!
@Ukulele Ike: #74: re-Phantom: Good point, that arquebus dates from the early 16th Century. With the early black powders, called serpentine, the saltpeter, charcoal and sulphur were mixed dry into a dusty mess. The contents often separated in transit and had to be remixed on site, a rather hazardous task. Towards the end of the 16th Century some unknown genius invented a process called corning, which made the manufacture of gunpowder a much safer proposition. The ingredients were mixed wet into a paste, then spread out in cakes to dry. The dried cakes were then broken up into grains and run through sieves. This allowed the powder to be separated into grains from course to fine, course for artillery and fine for small arms. The air spaces between the grains gave a much more efficient combustion and made corned powder more powerful than the earlier serpentine. Many earlier cannons couldn’t stain the strain of of the newer powder and blew up. I hope for Stripey and Diana’s sake Guran whipped up some serpentine for the demonstration.
@Sequitur: Looks a bit like Roy Crane’s Captain Easy, which ran in the papers from the 1920s until 1988, only burlier and with an eye missing. Me likey.
CS: Skip, his voice dripping with undetected sarcasm, says, “Oh my, what a delightful story, Batton! That is so precious! I think I can spin this off into a three- or four-part series.”
“Really, Skip?!”
“You bet. I’ve just got to take care of a few more stories we’re working on, and then I’ll get right on it. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”
Back in his office, Skip tosses his notes and thinks, “Well the bright side to all this is that his hideously boring stories are making my life seem much longer that if would otherwise.”
DT: “The police have apparently found the body,” says the woman who was watching a news report about how the body was found but unidentified not that long ago. If you want to make jokes about how the nephews are too dumb to follow the plot, Costello, maybe try to keep track of it yourself?
Crank: Look! It’s Ed Crankshaft and his friends! Boy, I wonder what they’re talking about! Probably something that’s at least vaguely shaped like a joke, right? Well, we’ll never know.
EC: I’m embarassed it took me this long to realise the strip hadn’t actually returned but Comics Kingdom was just rerunning it, but even comic strips wouldn’t be doing “Did you know vinyl is making a comeback?” in 2025. (Then again, they’re still doing “Did you know The Kids These Days are wearing ripped jeans on purpose?” so…)
JP: A while ago I commented that it doesn’t seem like Glen’s been paying a lot of attention to Sophie explaining recent storylines to him (not that I blame him) and this is only getting worse.”I can get you a job, but it means being seperated from your family. Your family live here in New York, right?”
MW: Wilbur’s little self-deprecating smirk has he contemplates that maybe having trainers and sandals is excessive “for a man” annoys me so much.
Phantom: “No the story doesn’t have an uncomplicated happy ending, but at least there’s another African society with an oral tradition of how great some guy in a purple onesie is, and isn’t that the real happy ending?”
Is Diana’s “Nice shot, my arquebusier” meant to sound like a last-second word swap?
MW: Seeing Belle anew, Wilbur realizes that no way is she EVER going to pass Mary Worth Inspection.
RMMD: Summer’s hair should have a big dent in it after so long in a ponytail.
@2+2=7 #79: Your idea is so much more unique so obviously Moy won’t be going with it because somewhere in her mind, she thinks that everyone adores that smug, self righteous George Costanza knockoff.
@MKay: Mary won’t accept any less than a Stepford Wife dressed in a flowered sundress and bobbed hair. Blonde and blue eyed, of course, to appease her local branch of the KKK.
Of possible interest: Comics Kingdom runs vintage editions of some strips as well as the latest versions, including Judge Parker. The present weekday vintage strips, circa 1969, have Sam Driver of the Legal Aid Society summoned by the chauffeur of one Abby Spenser. Watch, helplessly, as it all begins.
DtM: Oh look, it’s Robo-Pastor.
Just then Dennis pipes up. “My Dad is really religious. Yesterday I was watching him trying to get our old lawnmower started, and he kept yelling ‘Jesus H. Christ!’ “
Diogenes the Cynic now no longer just lives like a canine, but speaks like one. It’s a shame he reincarnated as a cat instead but maybe he’s still working his way up the ladder. It’s a lot better than what happened to Plato, anyway.
DtM – . . . just wait ’til you meet the assholes at the Synod!
Admittedly, I haven’t been reading “Curtis”on the regular, but is one of his classmates a Furry or a Plugger? There seems to be a paw pointing at him.
I really hate jokes like the one in this Luann. Taking pills is not bad or embarrassing! Having a higher quality of life, or being alive period, through the miracle of modern medicine is not shameful! I’m 35 and I take 4-6 medications every day because I have conditions that need them. Two years ago I had over 200 medically-related appointments to help figure out and treat various issues. And you know what? I’m doing really well now! I’m super glad I was able to get that treatment! But also, I will very likely have to take my medicines for the rest of my life, and that isn’t tragic!
I know that a lot of people fear becoming old because of the ways it changes our bodies and limits what we can do. And that’s fair. It’s never fun to become disabled. But I hate seeing the cultural assumptions around it. That an old person’s opinion’s are less valid, that they don’t deserve respect or dignity, that they must obviously find little to no joy in their lives if it isn’t from grandchildren or trying to relive the joys of their youth. That’s garbage. It’s ableist, ageist garbage. But worst of all, it’s self-fulfilling garbage. It tells all of us, who should HOPE to get old, to dread a third of our lives. It tears us apart with fear and insecurities while making us ignore the many practical ways that seniors’ lives could be easily improved with many of the same things that young disabled people need. Accessible infrastructure. Affordable medical treatments. Media representation. Community. LOVE.
So many of these comic strips, through their brief and simple humor, show a broad sense of how large portions of the population feel (or are expected to feel) about common life issues. I actually really like that about them. They’re often a sociological microcosm. So thank you, Luann, for lighting the fire in me today. May this strip one day be an artifact in a sociology textbook, studied alongside old magazines.
PV: Well, finally! We get back to some Equine action here, if only for the introductory panel. And yes, dahlings, that is ME, in Pale Horse makeup, starring as future Queen Ingrid’s ride! They gave me the role based on my seniority here and my status as chief Equine Choreographer. Not to mention my regal bearing. Don’t worry – the makeup is harmless to my coat and actually contains beneficial botanical oils and conditioners – available from the Mane ‘n’ Tail Royal Collection at luxury boutiques everywhere.
Anyway, I’ll need to be this color for continuity when Kit Jr. picks me up from the Mawitaan Livery Stable in weekday Phantom. Whenever that will be. Thank goodness my gig in the Sunday Phantom is over. Terrible working conditions, mostly night work, and not much of a role or exposure for me. And today that gratuitous violence with that awful gun! I could have enjoyed that watermelon for lunch! Such waste.
Good thing it wasn’t a MAD magazine.
Luann: Is this an old magazine from 1952?
Mrs. Horner: No, it’s the plans for the bomb I’m building to take out this entire nursing home.
Dustin: Ed Kudlick is a terrible human being, #21507
@Comicgeekery: I’ve been going through some similar issues as well and I can understand how rough it is, especially with being under 40 but feeling like you’re so much older physically and emotionally. I’m glad that things have improved for you and I hope that they keep going well.
@Comicgeekery: I’m picking up what you’re putting down. Well said.
@Ukulele Ike: #116: I like the retro homage to Roy Crane style. Squid looks like one of Captain Easy’s enemies, Bull Dawson.
Are Wilburp and Belly rebooting that M&Ms commercial when Red and Yellow met Santa? “Ahhhhh! He’s real!” “Ahhhhh! She’s real!”
“Time for your kiddy meds! A heaping cup full of Flintstone™ vitamins! No hiding the Great Gazoos in your pillow, Mrs Horner!”
@Guillermo el chiclero: He certainly does….I’ve seen a few of the Bull Dawson strips in the big 1970s Smithsonian comics collection. Dawson had two functioning optics, however.
Hey, Thompson! There’s the possibility here for a fascinating crossover strip — The Bull and the Squid. Three eyes for your viewing pleasure.
@Myrtle: What, no! Such wanton vulgarities are not appropriate in the Rexverse! Unless you’re talking about roots country and run-down diners, even the tamest and smallest of pleasantries must be sanded down to their most banal, mildest neutrality. That’s the Rex Morgan M.D. way!
Luann: I used to enjoy reading! It brought me great joy! But, now with cataracts and macular degeneration, that’s all over, forever. Not to mention glaucoma and incipient dementia. Oh look, we’re at the last panel and there’s no room for a punchline. See you next Sunday!
Wilbur’s “For a *man* that is…” makes me think this is a prelude to him entertaining a brief fantasy of transitioning – but the only thing egg-like about Wilbur is his shape.
Evidence that the comics artists are just a bit out of touch, the Mary worth team missed a sure bet by calling Wilbur’s vacation fling “Belle”, a name that hasn’t been current in forever, instead of Karen, after the haircut, or Kate, after the famousish person with the haircut.
@Sequitur: “Looking for a new adventure hero?”
Looking for a new (old) hilarious comic strip with intrigue, suspense, an actual murder mystery, and romance that’s handled so well it made me tear up more than once?
Last week I archive-binged a Quebecois comic that ran in various Canadian humor magazines between 2008 and 2018. The eight bound volumes run over 60 bucks apiece on used book websites, but you can scroll through the whole epic (in English) for free on Internet Archive. I’ve gone back and reread parts already.
Eight volumes about fifty pages each. It’s like reading a short novel. Best damn comic I’ve come across in years. By volume three I was in love with ALL the characters at once.
I’ll come back and say what it is (and link it) on Monday, when more of us are present. Because I really LOVED this and want y’all to check it out and love it too and give feedback.
Stay tuned, breakfast clubbers.
Just be glad Mrs. Horner isn’t showing Luann how the other kind of magazine works.
@Horace Broon: No, no, no, you don’t get off that easy. Each conversation we missed last week will be the focus of each day next week, Crankshaft malaprops and all.
Give Lois a dose of Pamela Anderson’s new look. It’s one I’d like to call “aging with dignity and integrity.” After a long career as one of the most intensely objectified people ever to live, she’s now taking complete control over the way she’s presented to the world and she looks so happy.
Chuck Taylor’s? Oh Wilbur. You are fooling NO ONE.
@Guillermo el chiclero: I didn’t realize that Bluto was an actual name outside of Popeye.
Luann-“It’s my issue of Playboy. I was the centerfold for that month.”
H-Cliff: Heathcliff has a translator named Diogenes because his joke involves carrying a lantern around in broad daylight while looking for an honest man. The search brings him to a dog pound which is where, I trust, things get really hilarious.
Luann: Congratulations to Luann on writing her first Pluggers.
MW: I remember another comics creator—maybe James Allen—revealing here that Karen Moy has a genuine love for hipsterish music. That explains the quote from a member of the National, assuming—as you really can’t—that he actually said it.
C-Shaft: And that, children, is the story of the first and last time somebody mistook Batton Thomas for creative.
DT: Riddle of the day: Why, between the Crimestoppers hint and Auntie Claire taking Dick’s call, do we get a closeup of the leg lamp from A Christmas Story?
Dustin: This raises the question of how long the Kudlicks drove around before they found a mall he could bitch about.
GA: Slim should make that livestream suggestion to the minister. It suggests a dandy way for the other parishioners to not have Slim physically in their midst, which sounds like a win-win.
JP: Sophie: I need some distance from my family. They just asked me to help keep a lady out of prison for murder just because she didn’t do it. Ugh, can you believe it?
Glen: Hmm, on second though our charitable interests might not be your speed.
RMMD: Oh, don’t worry. Augie is just hiphoppin’ it old school with some vintage Onyx.
MW:. Like “Aunt Tilley” in RMMD, Belle promises to be a lower-class interrupter of the self-righteous self-satisfied community. Hope she is as disruptive and much fun as Aunt Tilley was.
Hi and Lois – Is this like how we don’t want Jesus intruding on our pagan fall festival, Lois hates the idea of summer semi-nudity to encroach on the holiness of Easter?
Mary Worth – “With my Daughter who’s so much like Me in so many ways.”.
I don’t know, we will need to see a bird’s eye view of the top of her head to gauge whether she got your balding genes.
Heathcliff – “In a rich man’s house, there is nowhere to hiss but in his face.”
Luann – I was curious why they censored the back image of the April 7th, 1952 issue of Life with Marilyn Monroe. Turned out it wasn’t the worst I feared (racism), it was just an old ad for Camel Cigarettes starring Argentine singer Dick Haymes saying smoking was the best cigarette for his throat.
Haymes would die at age 61 of lung cancer
@matt w: Ah, I hadn’t realized another ‘mudge had already authenticated the quote. Well, I’m sure he said more interesting things as well.
@Melody Mare, have saddle – will time travel: On behalf of your many devoted fans, a lot of us are excited and delighted to see you in PV again! Your presence always make it classier!
Jesus, Wilbur is dating Kate Gosselin?! This is like the meeting of Smith and Wesson.