Some bleak old people/tech stuff
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Pluggers, 6/10/25
Pluggers already did a version of this bit in 2007, only back then the joke was “When a plugger gives you directions, all the landmarks he uses will be stores that long ago went out of business, because his mental map of the world stopped changing at some point as he aged.” Now it’s “Wouldn’t it be cool if your phone, possibly using some kind of advanced AI, gave you directions using long-closed stores as landmarks so as to better match your mental map of the world, which stopped changing at some point as you aged?” This is, I think you’ll agree, significantly more depressing.
Blondie, 6/10/25
Speaking of old people and technology, I appreciate Blondie’s ongoing mission of educating us on how old people use technology. You ever log into a website with two-factor authentication turned on, and it asks you if you want to receive your access code as a text or a phone call, and you think to yourself, “A text, obviously, who on earth would ever choose phone call, that sounds terrible”? Well, it turns out that the ones choosing “phone call” are the writers and, presumably, the readers of the syndicated newspaper comic strip Blondie.
Mary Worth, 6/10/25
I guess it’s only Tuesday so there’s probably a bit more to come but I do love that Wilbur and Dawn are just speed-running their way to pretending the Belle Episode never happened and pushing all the associated emotions they might have about it deep down inside. Are we going to unpack what “someone like Belle” means in this context? Nope! Are we gonna acknowledge that Belle’s brother was just Tall Wilbur? Absolutely not! La la la everything is fine just fine in Westonworld, just as it always has been, aside for a few minor bumps we don’t think about, ever!
Herb and Jamaal, 6/10/25
“That’s an interesting philosophical take, Herb, and I appreciate it! So, uh, are you going to help me … operate this restaurant that we both own, or are you just going to spend the rest of the day doing this conceptual art project or whatever it is?”
151 replies to “Some bleak old people/tech stuff”
Luann: Okay, where do I place my “Jonah does become a successful actor, and it’s because of Bernice’s encouragement through Shannon” parlay?
Now I know the short one is Herb. Making the tall one Jamaal, I would giess. I never knew. And now that fact is taking up valuable space and I just jettison something I hope I won’t miss to make room.
Wilbur’s a little out of character here. Don’t get me wrong, I believe he’d be totally oblivious to the similarity between himself and Belle’s brother, but he would be more like, “Handsome fellow, wasn’t he? Chiseled jaw, powerful gaze. A little skinny, but nobody’s perfect.”
MW:
I wonder if Puerre and Marie Curie’s patter ever reached this level of sophistication.
JP: “…until the next time Ces needs this subplot. Now, we have captured a Blue Police Box…”
MW: Wilbur’s new, crazy girlfriend sitting at the table; “You know I can hear you two.”
Pluggers: This is significantly more depressing because my reaction is “Yes! Yes! That would be great!” I can’t even get the map voice to switch back to the Irish accent I used to have.
Blondie: Finally someone in this strip dishes out the abuse Dagwood deserves, and it’s the only thing more horrible than Dagwood.
Mary Worth: Credit to team MW for constructing a believable backstory for a woman who would want to have sex with Wilbur (literally insane and fixated from birth on a more attractive Wilbur).
MW: Yeah, maybe Belle’s brother looks “kind of…FAMILIAR” because Belle’s brother is actually kind of FAMILIAL—like MAYBE I’m reminded of Patty Duke in her dual role as identical cousins—and just maybe Belle’s particular brand of psychosis is GENETIC and maybe that goes a long way toward explaining why Wilbur and Dawn are off the beaten path of normalcy and MAYBE THAT MEANS WILLA IS STILL IN DANGER, @SID, AGENT TO THE ANIMAL STARS!
FC: Billy is starting with plants. Pretty soon it’ll be small animals. He’s on his way to becoming a serial killer, but we all expected that.
Arlo and Janis: Okay, this I liked. That characters in this strip don’t break into song or go to karaoke all the time is one reason.
“Dad, did you notice that Belle’s brother looked kind of… familiar”
“No I didn’t notice”
“I have to ask… did Grandpa play around?”
“Dawn, how disrespectful!”
“Sorry! Did Grandma?”
Pluggers never bought into that “Ten-and-Two” bullshit. “Double-Twelve” was good enough for my grandpappy and good enough for me!
MW Remember when the titular character of this strip used to be involved in the resolution of its plots? Not that I blame her for being absent, I would have given up on straighten out this band of dysfunctional weirdos years ago.
H&J You know, in the current political climate, that joke could interpreted as a scathing critique of liberal acquiescence to encroaching authoritarianism, but…yeah, I’m guessing no.
Pretty sure Mr Plugger is listening to a radio call-in show. “…and right there I saw one of them illegals.“
Pluggers: The biggest problem I have with this premise is that using GPS implies that a plugger is driving somewhere they’ve never been before. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from intermittently reading this strip for 25 years, it’s that a plugger never travels more than 5 miles from home.
Blondie : Oh, so THAT’s what the “Numbers stations” are all about! It’s just Dagwood Bumstead trying to get his access codes!
*************
Mary Worth : somehow, I have the feeling that if Dawn’s question in the first panel had been “Dad, did you notice how Belle was acting weird, crazed even?”, Wilbur’s answer would have been the same.
************
Safe Havens : is now going to be the THIRD strip to do a “falls off cruise ship” storyline after Mary Worth and Rex Morgan M.D. What’s different here is I’m pretty sure the victim here is meant to be sympathetic (a newlywed woman) rather than the unlikeable villains the latter two strip used.
…I swear, if it’s the strip where everyone can turn into a mermaid (and they HAVE, they’re actively following the ship to make sure nothing goes wrong) the one that goes “Oh yeah, realistically, if you fall off a cruise ship, you’re more likely to die than to be successfully rescued”…
MW: I see Wilbur’s fallen back to his own tried and true advice of “keeping only good memories” so he can avoid any personal growth from letting a would-be serial killer move in. Funny how he didn’t selectively edit the past during his goldfish depression, or his Bluetooth shower radio depression, or his Fabiana depression, or when he was shoving people into traffic.
@Dan: Or, Wilbur should be reacting to this news like Ace Ventura did when he realized Einhorn was Finkle. This whole story was incest by proxy. Wilbur, Dawn and Avery should all still be throwing up.
MW: Wilbur: “Oh, I’ll be careful from now on! The next woman I date has to LOVE Willa!”
PLUGGERS: Since I for one, am counting on my soon -to -be decrepit years being handled by a nice android, it’s only right that AI get Plugger-ready.
Having a AI that thinks and acts like a Plugger is a form of AI alignment, but this does not mean it’s not an abomination against God!
MW:
Getting Wilbur to commit to not engage in future inappropriate toxic dalliances is kind of like getting a rogue state to commit to not enrich uranium.
@Lauralot: And Dawn is enabling Wilbur. Considering how Wilbur dismissed Dawn’s valid concerns for her safety, she should be screaming facts at him right now.
@Bob Tice:
Oops, that’s “Pierre.”
Mary Worth: “Familiar? No, I don’t think so. Smelled nice, though. Something like Old Spice and bologna, only more masculine and self-confident.”
Herb and Jamal reminds me of a Laurie Anderson line from “Language is a Virus”: ” Hey, are you talking to me or just doing one of those performance art things you do?”
Blondie: [Heavy, exasperated sigh] Security codes are typically six digits for the same reason local phone numbers have seven: that’s about the most the average person can comfortably remember. ATMs have four-digit PINs because you have to have the physical card, and because the inventor’s wife had trouble with six digits. People presumably get the security codes by phone because they hear better than they see, and goddammit I’ve started my day off with pedantry once again.
@Bobby Sneakers: Hearing that puts an interesting spin on the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, doesn’t it? Donald Sutherland can only scream in horror, having found more humans infected with the curse of language.
Pluggers: I used to joke that the easiest way to learn the history of a rural area was to ask for directions. Typically, it isn’t about maintaining an unchanging mental map so much as holding on to the memories of friends and loved ones who have since moved or shuffled off this mortal coil, like a litany of saints rehearsed in an unstable, ever-changing world. Think you can out-bleak me? Think again, mister. I’ve served country churches!
Pluggers-“It’s back the way you came.”
From the look in the Plugger’s eyes, I think he just received the coded signal to assassinate the president.
The Plugger GPS would be more believable if its directions were to continue straight by the pawn shop, take a right past the all-you-can-eat buffet and then a quick left into the parking lot of the titty bar.
Bloom County – 40 years later and it’s topical again.
I suppose it would have been too much to ask that Team Weston came up with the even more obvious lesson of “Don’t stick your d*ck in crazy,” but that would deprive us of about 90% of all Mary Worth plotlines, and so here we are.
GT – Great job, Marty! No notes…Actually, I do have one note: games are usually called in the present tense. It keeps the listener in the moment.
@Bobby Sneakers: And Laurie Anderson already did the Pluggers’ directions joke in “Big Science”.
@Guts Dozier: You’re assuming that Pluggers remember how to get somewhere they go every day. Pluggers are senile!
Blondie: After Dagwood accidentally calls her for the third time, Jenny gets fed up.
“Let’s see…that’s 867530….”
Hi and Lois: Lois gets brutally disrespected by Simon and Garfunkel.
Turn left at the old malt shop when Sally Sue laughed when you asked her to prom, then proceeding for one mile until turning right at the old Miller place, which you burned down – by accident, sure – back in ’56. Another mile, turn on the gravel road to the quarry, where you drank too much and got Martha Mae pregnant and ruined both your lives, then 500 feet straight and 500 feet straight down. – Plugger GPS
MW: My first thought was that It’s impossible Wilbur wouldn’t clock his own doppleganger, because his mental picture of himself would be taller and thinner than he actually is. Then I realized his mental picture of himself would also have more muscles, more hair, better eyesight, a smaller nose and stronger chin, a personality that someone who isn’t criminally insane might find charming…
Pluggers: Plugger GPS also gives you your choice of folksy voice settings. This Massachusetts-based dog-man has his set to “New England Codger,” but there’s also “Minnesota Church Lady,” “Texas Cowboy,” and “Deep South Lawman” (WARNING: do not use this setting if you’ve tanned recently).
Hoo boy, that Belle sure was crazy, wasn’t she. Oh, hey, remember that time Wilbur disassociated from reality and shoved an old man? Annnyyyywwaayyy… Enjoy your normal life with your normal father, Dawn.
***
I don’t like that Herb is staring straight past the fourth wall as he says this. It feels like he’s judging me.
Today’s Pluggers is personally distressing because not only is the submitter from my hometown (go rams), I think he might be the dad of this girl I had a crush on in high school
@Weaselboy: GT – Great job, Marty! No notes…Actually, I do have one note: games are usually called in the present tense. It keeps the listener in the moment.
***
And where was the SCHLORK! sound effect in the final panel for Gordon hitting that grand slam? (And by the way, Marty, when a home run is hit with the bags loaded, it’s a grand slam although Marty can be excused for thinking of something else for “bags are loaded.”)
Six Chix-“Lots of people giving me advice about how to write jokes who aren’t writers.”
H&J-Ah. Did somebody read today’s “Six Chix”?
RMMD-Truck is off to get some love that she can’t give him.
MW-“Why hello, Mary. Won’t you come inside.”
@Guts Dozier:
Checks out for Marshfield.
C’shaft: “Unless your wages are two-for-one, I’m going to have to pass.”
Dustin: “News flash, Dad: young men–and older ones–worked long hours in physically demanding jobs after the Industrial Revolution too, and still do today. I still have no idea what your legal specialty is, but I think we can safely cross ‘labor rights’ off the list.”
JP: “Because you’ll be dead. Ooops, sorry, I wasn’t supposed to say that part out loud, was I?”
MT: And that makes it different from other chatbots because…?
Phantom: I’m sorry, I still refuse to believe that Mr. “I’ve lived in a cave and wear purple spandex because it’s what my ancestors did and it’s what my son will do too” would be on the “you’re free to make your own destiny” side of this argument. The only reason why he is is there’s relationships involved, and everyone knows that’s a girly thing.
SH: Any water choppy enough to move a huge mega-ship to the point where the average person could tumble over the railing would probably involve a hurricane, or a meteor impact.
@The Mighty Finn: Curve around the back of the 7-11 where you once puked your guts out and park next to the shed by the path to the football field where you rawdogged Mary Lou O’Connell on the 50 yard line, defiling the Rams logo.
This is our AI-driven future. Software will adapt itself to how the user thinks and interact conversationally with the user.
That’s right. If the user is a plugger, the software will be forced to think like a plugger.
This is how the AI wars will start.
Mr Plugger puts down his windshield and enjoys the breeze while driving through his old town.
—And a tip o’ the hat to Mark “Willie Loman” O’Connell of Marshfield, Mass.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Phone numbers now have ten numbers–oh, and I’ve started my day off with pedantry too!
MW: Wilbur1 ignoring that Wilbur2 looked exactly like him is par for the course though, because he got some nookie.
I’m hopeful that the insinuation is here that he got some nookie from like a half-sister because THAT would be hilarious.
Pluggers — Does “Marshfield” sound like a town with an identity crisis? I mean, which is it?
H&J – “Oh. So, am I going to do all the gags or are we going to be Henry from now on?”
Don Abundio, translated:
[Sign: COMPLAINTS]
“You have a complaint, sir?”
“Yes!”
“That stupid woman at counter 10 claims that nobody stocks top hats anymore!”
@LesterEdgarHelicopter: One tends to think there are no Pluggers in Massachusetts, but then you get out past 495 and over the Connecticut River and you’re in Lovecraft country . . . I mean Plugger country.
Pluggers: If you’ve ever had the dubious pleasure of visiting a friend in Boston, you are more than familiar with landmark directions. “Take a left at the Dunkin Donuts, then a left at the next Dunkin Donuts. Drive about 4 blocks, then take a right where the old Dunkin Donuts used to be. Or was it a Kinko’s?”
H&J: You think Stephen Bentley ever regrets making his two main characters so different in height? Poor old Herb. No wonder he maintains his constitutional right to silence if every time he talks, his speech bubble pushes his own head out of the panel.
Pluggers – A Plugger GPS is the voices in his head….
Blondie – Cyber porn was so much easier before age verification….
MW – Maybe a special tax would be a deterrent! Ask not for whom the Belle tolls – it tolls for…well…Belle….
H&J – Today’s special – Flambéing Cherries Jubilee – I call it the Flaming Waymo….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Ettorre:
“Yes, she did.”
Pluggers – The tech already exists to implement this given the decades of data collection and many people’s reliance on GPS over developing their own mental maps.
While there are potentially positive uses for the tools, there would be a 100% chance of abuse by powerful actors to use the feelings of nostalgia and loss to push a message to a subservient population about “how things used to be”, and who is to blame for the current state of affairs.
Blondie – I wonder if Dagwood got locked out of the shopping account where he finally bought socks that helped put color contrast between his fleshed toned shoes and ankle, so he doesn’t look even more physically monstrous than his wrinkly neck already makes him.
Mary Worth – While the myth of forgetful goldfish has been debunked, Willa has the unfortunate fate of bearing memory of this whole incident, including gasp for oxygen while Wilbur’s crazed lover threatened to devour her out of jealousy. So too, will all of us, but we had the choice to read or not read this strip. Meanwhile, like Wilbur and Dawn, most readers will shove this down in the memory hole.
Herb and Jamaal – Making “not having an opinion” on hot button issues you’re whole personality is as cringe as wearing a fedora and having a Joker/V for Vendetta avatar.
@Dennis Jimenez: Dagwood just wants to play Leisure Suit Larry… “Why won’t it accept that I’m 95 years old?”
“Well, I am glad the Belle episode ended peacefully”
[Belle died on the way back to her home planet]
“What do you mean with ‘someone like Belle'”
“Sigh, I’ll say it plainly, don’t stick your dick in crazy!”
“But they’re the only ones I can stick my dick in!”
MW- well, with the storyline winding down with a Mary debrief and possibly a month of the Westons thanking her for listening, one must ask how long before Moy begins to get another hankering for that “Wilburcrack”, and have another story about our bete noire?
Who the hell is left at the complex? All the single ladies have put a ring on it, Keith is covering Lionel Richie in Taft, and the stockboy is looking for another onion/engagement ring. That leaves the absent minded professor and his splak sculptress.
Oh God, guess we need to strap in for another round of Dawn or Wilbur looking for love in all the wrong places.
I need a drink
@Lauralot: That’s actually the foundation of Mary’s entire philosophical outlook (so, see, she IS involved in the plot! Enough to spend the next three weeks taking the credit for it for “resolving” it over reheated fish-sticks at the Bum Boat, at least.)
@Maltmash3r: It’s time for a Carlos Al(l)ora story, if only to see how cringeworthy it would be.
MW: One good thing to come out of this narrative, the phrase “Fucked Wilbur” has replaced “Fucked Stupid” in my vocabulary.
I know comics time is different than real time, but just how long was Belle at Wilbur’s apartment? Was it a couple of days, weeks, months? How long did it take not-Wilbur to discover she was there, and did he travel from Florida to retrieve her? I would assume she came with some change of clothes, even if it was for a weekend, so why did she leave with nothing?
Wouldn’t a Plugger rant also include some Kids-Today-adjacent grumbling about the business that replaced Ronnie’s Bakery?
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: #24
” [Heavy, exasperated sigh]…goddammit I’ve started my day off with pedantry once again”
You have my sincerest sympathy for the burden your erudition imposes on your soul, but for the rest of us mere mortals, the resulting *enlightenment is well worth it! *not to mention great entertainment :-)
Pluggers: A former colleague at one of my earlier jobs once said that his “rural” cousin, when asked for directions, would respond, “Yep…I know th’ place…it’s back on down up in through there…” :-)
Pluggers: Did you know that Americans move to new homes, in different neighborhoods or cities, less than half as often now than they did in the 1960s? Which means you’re much more likely to live in the same place you have for years — and be familiar with local landmarks, both existing and long-gone. Yep, face it folks, we’re all pluggers now!
Blondie: Not only does two-factor identification suck, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t let you keep using the same code for the period it would take for day to turn into night, and then for Dagwood to brush his teeth, change into his pajamas and get in bed with his beautiful wife. Also, as obsessive as he is about food, it’s gotten a little late for him to still be requesting that DoorDash delivery.
@Batiuk’s Attic: Dawn once complained to Mary that Belle had been there for weeks. Which completely messes up the story.
@TheDiva The “Waze” navigation app for phones has a whole set of “novelty” voices you can load into it. My favorite by far is “Cajun” which I first tried on a long trip to Louisiana.
If you make a wrong turn it says “Aww lawwd, reroutin’. Reroutin’, here we go!”
Mary Worth: The moral of this story is that if you’re a single father, you should never ever try dating again and should instead focus on deepening the weirdly pseudo-incestuous relationship you habe with your daughter.
Herb And Jamaal: Have Herb and Jamaal ever actually served a customer in this comic? If so, I don’t recall it.
Herb has reached his Bartleby the Scrivener moment. He would prefer not to.
Do you think Wilbur and Tall Wilbur are identical, you know, down there? Presumably Belle would have the answer to that. Because she definitely fucked Wilbur and probably fucked … never mind, that’s okay, I’ll go ahead and rescind the question …
The First Rule of Mary Cult is: Repress those Nasty Human Emotions with a nice Muffin.
The Second Rule of Mary Cult is: Pray you will be devoured first.
H&J: I suppose the right to free speech includes the right of a cartoonist to NOT deliver a joke. But considering the fragile state of the industry these days, it would probably be wiser to put in a little effort even if our Founding Fathers granted us all the right to be lazy.
Dustin: “Besides, we both know you’ve never done hard labor in your life. You get winded just walking from your car to your office.”
MW: Wilbur has promised to stop letting people like Belle into the apartment. As for Belle specifically, she still has the key, so technically Wilbur wouldn’t be letting her in.
@TheDiva: We were driving in the northern part of Arizona some years back and we were using the GPS on my phone. Suddenly, the GPS voice turned SEXY. “Turn right onto Route 1A” or whatever it was, sounding just like Jessica Rabbit. My husband and I looked at each other and then she gave the next direction in that same voice. We started laughing. After that, it never happened again. I still wonder what was going on there.
@ectojazzmage: Re: Herb and Jamaal, lack of customers in a long-running cash business is usually a sign of money laundering, or as Herb and/or Jamaal would put it, ‘committing a crime involving the fungibility of physical currency.’
Mary Worth:
Dawn: *spends 90 minutes describing her feelings about the Belle episode, including the weirdness of the not-Wilbur rescuer she is somehow strangely attracted to and her confusion about that and so much else*
Ian: “You know, I’m not that kind of doctor “
Pluggers-You better hurry that body in your trunk isn’t getting any fresher.
I am going to miss Belle so damned much and I am so sad that she and mary never got to face off.
The way that Mary Worth consistently churns out storylines that you know we’re all going to be talking about for years to come is honestly iconic.
I liked today’s “Blondie” better when it was a gag in “The Hudsucker Proxy”:
“6-7-8-7-0-4-9-Alpha-6! That is your employee number! It will not be repeated! Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck!”
“No, I didn’t notice that. Anyway, I’ll miss that sexy body”
“Belle was crazy dad!”
“I was talking about her brother”
Which other Mary Worth character would have sex with their clone/AU version/time travel self?
Wilbur: Yes, but he wouldn’t notice it was his clone
Ian: Only a kiss, no stamina for full sex
Toby: She’d do it for money, but she knows she wouldn’t pay
Tommy: He’s been to prison, he has done more humiliating acts
Dawn: Please, she doesn’t even masturbate!
Iris: She would be too old for herself
Zack: He would be too young for himself
Mary: She would be repulsed by the suggestion, but since she’s sublimated all her sexual impulses into moralistic meddling, she’d get erotic gratification from engaging with her clone
MW: I confess I’d like Belle to become a recurring character showing up now and then to try to kill Wilbur and Dawn. But I also wished the same for Entertainer Esme and Wilbur’s Colombian giantess.
RMMD: Truck is a complete idiot.
MW: Still time for a final big twist – it is a longer con – “big brother” and Bats have stolen the financial data from the Westons and looted their accounts. OR… like Judge Parker rarely has the Judge, maybe Mary Worth is in the very early pupa stage of transitioning over to having Wilber Weston as the main character. Every few months Wilbur will have another encounter with the real world. Since he is a self-absorbed dolt these encounters usually leave him puzzled and surprised. Yet somehow due to a heavy coating of plot armor-all he has sexy adventures, travels, stuff his gullet and takes care of his fish. It becomes widely successful as people show up each day to see how badly unaware Wilbur is of his situation – hey, it worked for Mr. MaGoo, Insp Clouseau.
DT: So, why is DT involved again? Someone is taking pictures and moving them into abandoned or recently empties expensive apartments to be recovered.
RMMD: Way to go, Truck, I see all of those roots-country songs and Mr. Mirakle haven’t really taught you a thing!
The National Lampoon ran an article called “How to Give Bad Directions”.
My favorite was (something like) Look for the dead cow by the road and then go another two miles and turn left.
You can bet some brain wizard is developing an AI “Pluggers” direction app (or is it “A-1”) that will give the same kind of advice as in today’s panel.
And it will send dozens of Pluggers off closed bridges because they blindly follow directions.
Sorry. #90 was me.
FBoFW: today, Like z plays role of Evil Daughter.
JP: today, April plays role of plotting daughter-in-law. Should she play along enough with this would-be extortionist in order to trap him? Of course she will.
BETTY: Josh missed “old people skip AI generated ads”
CURTIS: Chutney makes her move
PHANTOM: KJ makes his inital decision. When Manju finally finds him, by then an experienced investigator, traveler, and killer, KJ will either go with her or become her mortal enemy. Hell hath no fury like a barista scorned.
MW: (Dawn’s thought bubble) Wait a minute! If that guy is related to my dad enough to look like him…and Belle is his sister…then…my dad was…(urk!!) (runs for bathroom).
6Cx: today, Bianca defines “jealousy”
MW: “Uh, okay …never mind. Anyway, please promise me you won’t ever stick your dick in crazy again.”
“No … never again.” (fingers crossed)
Can we have a crossover amongst Mary Worth and Lockhorns and Wizard of Id, where Wilbur and Leroy and the king all get to meet their tall counterparts?
LUANN: Coming from YOU, Jonah, that comment is a hoot. Of course you do seem to be undergoing an Evansii Image Improvement, patent pending. So who knows, you could end up voicing the lead role in some huge-money animated version of THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD.
Let me just add for the record that if Shannon’s work were to somehow end up becoming a best-selling children’s book, with fame, glory, and big profits following, I would find some way to climb into the Luanniverse and set it on fire like Valhalla.
Blondie: Has the Bumsteads’ landline that they use for all phonecalls been cordless for a while, or did this technological innovation get introduced when they realised they needed Dag to take the reciever to bed in order to show how long he’s been at this?
Crank: The other funny thing about Batty deciding the teenage Funky Winkerbean versions of the twins are canon to the composite timeline but they’re still hanging round the Village Booksmith for some reason, is that Batty took some time to establish they developed in different directions (in fact, didn’t one of them get a job at the Sentinel not that long ago? Was she fired already?) but they revert to the one-person-in-two-bodies version when they talk to Lillian. How long before he decides they never did figure out how metaphors work?
DT: Of course, it doesn’t occur to anyone to ask the guy who looks exactly like the Not So Mysterious Informant but claims not to be if he has a brother or anything.
MW: Of course Wilbur doesn’t think Avery looks familiar — he doesn’t know anybody with a ridiculous combover like that! It’s so unfair that there are some men a combover totally works on (himself) and others where it just looks sad (everyone else).
RMMD: Okay, I don’t believe April’s parents are dead, I don’t think April believes they’re dead, but aren’t the CIA supposed to think they’re dead? How are they still holding them over her head?
Phantom: I still maintain the only way this becomes interesting is if Kadia isn’t into dudes and nobody asked, but I admit that it doesn’t appear “interesting” is something DePaul is aiming for with this storyline. Any chance Stripey might get back to punching pirates any time soon?
Pluggers: As I probably said back in 2007, it was funnier when Terry Pratchett did it back in 1995 (The Discworld Mapp, in a discussion of how anyone you ask for directions either says “dunno, m’not from round here” despite walking a dog or, like a Plugger, knows where they are to a degree that’s completely useless to anyone who doesn’t.)
SH: Yesterday: The characters who’ve been turned into sea creatures exposit about how the mermaids want them to accompany a cruise ship to port as a safety measure. Today: A character falls off a cruise ship.
Did Holbrook take lessons on how to build suspense over cruise ship disasters from Karen Moy?
Will Wilbur show up to interview Jenna about how she shouldn’t be alive? (It’s possible! Dethany’s appeared in Dick Tracy, a mysterious guy named Walker with a pet wolf has also appeared in Dick Tracy, Weezie once got in the same taxi as Mary, therefore the Holbrook strips and Mary Worth are in the same ‘verse. And I’m not saying the current Mary Worth plot would be better if the person at the door had been Samantha Argus, collecting Bats before she turned back into an actual bat, but I don’t think it would have been any worse, either.)
Yesterday #168: thanks to the two who introduced me to the blobfish late yesterday. First, when I feel unloved or unappreciated, I now have a new mascot with song! No matter what, I’m in a better social shape than this guy.
Second, he has plenty of reason to be down in the mouth what with living in the dark and being showered with fish, bird, and human poop. And he was born that way so we can’t hold it against him any more than we can credit his smiley doppelganger, the axiotyl (?) with being charming.
@Poteet:You wouldn’t need to; she and Sarah Morgan would then fight to the death.
@Horace Broon: #98: re-CS: Just wait. In a few months those twins will show up again as children with the Walt Wallet cowlicks sticking out of their foreheads.
@UncleJeff: I would be too.
@Horace Broon: I remember seeing a cordless for a while. Decade perhaps.
I do sometimes receive access codes via voice call. Because when a web site demands a phone number for two-factor authentication, I prefer to give it my landline number. And that’s because (1) I have good spam-blocking set up on my landline, but not on my cell phone, and (2) when I’m at home, my cell phone is usually off.
So, the wave of nonspecificality that is Herb And Jamaal has hit the restaurant itself, no longer the Heart of Soul, its now just “soul food”.
MW: There were so many pseudo-Freudian undertones in this last story that even the good Doktor himself is puffing his cigar and muttering “Mein Gott im Himmel…Es ist einfach grauenhaft, so, wie es fast noch nie war.” Meanwhile, his esteemed colleague Carl Jung is laughing softly to himself as he enjoys Siggie’s discomfiture. “Warte nur, mein Freund…du hast noch nichts gesehen!” Slowly, slowly, a shimmering scarab beetle clambers up Sigmund’s chair and waves its tiny antennae at the elderly sage…”Verdammt Mistkäfer,” he growled.
@GarrisonSkunk: #105
Eventually it’ll just be “FOOD.” With no soul.
H&J: “Nothing” would have been an acceptable answer, Herb. You own the place.
MW: His vacation pickup might move in without asking, try to kill his daughter, his fish—his fish!—and him, but that won’t stop Wilbur from being Cleopatra, Queen of Denial.
I know the coloring in Pluggers is to show he’s behind a window, but I appreciate that it also makes him look like a ghost. It’s kind of appropriate – he’s following a route according to a voice somehow based solely on his memories of things that stopped existing long ago, so in some sense he is a ghost even if he’s still here. This is a level of symbolism I don’t often associate with comics about how old dogs don’t learn new tricks.
9CL: You can tell this is a flashback because Sister Steven is still under the naïve impression that she can shut Amos and Edda up.
C-Shaft: Ah, but was it the twin who always lies that said they’re a package, or the one who always tells the truth?
Dustin: I guess the joke here is the suggestion that Dustdad has ever worked a physically demanding job.
GT: Nice for Marty that he’s got someone out there rooting for him, even if he is just droning sports announcer boilerplate so far.
H&L: He’s a pain in the ass but he’s right, and whoever signed off on the placement of the sign just cost Lois a sale. Can’t wait for her to unload on management. “You just cost me six thousand dollars. Six thousand dollars. And one Cadillac. That’s right. What are you going to do about it!? What are you going to do about it, asshole?!”
JP: “Guys, this might be a little more convincing if you weren’t using your Joe Isuzu voice.”
RMMD: The day waitress working below Wanda is wearing a differently colored uniform and a backwards baseball cap. For the patrons at a retro diner the radicalism must be disorienting.
6Chx: Today our favorite Los Angeles cartoonist complains about non-Chicagoans who complain about Chicago.
Crank: “And WHAT a package! Hubba hubba!”
DT: “Oh….there’s Picasso in the laundry room and Dali in the loo/Some Cezannes in the shower stall, El Greco up the flue/Masterpieces everywhere whatever shall I do/The entire Chi Art Institute just through my transom flew”
@Rare Commenter: #81
Ian being Ian, he would make Dawn write it down in a 500-word essay which he would scrutinize for errors and mark up with his red pen. He gives her a grade of “B-“.
Dustin: BEFORE the Industrial Revolution? You think those 19th/20th century factory people weren’t doing hard physical work for long hours? Before law school, Ed Kudlick must have majored in Imagist Poetry.
Safe Havens: I have never followed this comic and I have no idea why this is happening, but I’d like to go on-record as totally approving of it.
(After the “whore chair,” Fruhlinger’s best-ever punchline was “Just straight up threw her hat overboard.” Don’t tell me I’m wrong.)
Beat Up Bailey: Isnt it bad manners to pummel your partner at the table before the dessert course?
MW: Admit it, this would be totally worth it if it ends with Charterstone burning down, and Wilbur and Dawn sitting in the middle of the flames drinking coffee and saying “This is fine… everything’s fine…”
2-factor authentication sucks ass.
@Ukulele Ike: DT: “Oh….there’s Picasso in the laundry room and Dali in the loo/Some Cezannes in the shower stall, El Greco up the flue/Masterpieces everywhere whatever shall I do/The entire Chi Art Institute just through my transom flew”
______________________________________
….Car 69,Where Are You?
@Ukulele Ike: (After the “whore chair,” Fruhlinger’s best-ever punchline was “Just straight up threw her hat overboard.” Don’t tell me I’m wrong.
_______________________________
What about what he said about what Daisy and Blondie were doing in the whore chair?
Maybe the Plugger GPS was THERE. Maybe it was ALWAYS THERE. Gaze at the unthinkable, Flesh Things.
JP — This is why you never answer phone calls without a valid Caller ID. Or, at least dump the CIA to voicemail…
The Familliar Mucus: “Moron Kicks A Who”.
“I wonder what’s new at the Comics Curmudgeon,” I said to myself, and showed up only to learn that at the tender age of [redacted], I give directions like a Plugger. Heaven help me.
@Poteet, Luann: Jonah and Shannon being FOOB’d or Rex Morgan/Judge Parker Lucky Rich and Famous?
Okay, too much internet for today.
“Someone like Belle” plainly means a person who might hurt Willa, since that is literally the only warning sign Wilbur was capable of understanding. So from now on I guess he is going to take all his flings to the aquarium to make sure they know how to handle themselves. Which honestly sounds like a better date than anything else I can imagine them doing with him, so…good work, I guess?
@Ukulele Ike: Shit! Last line should be “Blew” to avoid the homonym. And I still hate that misplaced verb, but whaddayagonndo. I maintain a strict five-minute time cap for composing CC doggerel.
How did the Plugger get his GPS to know details from decades ago? Did he have to fill out a questionnaire when drove the car off the lot? “Let’s see, name of strip mall that used to be Old Man Jenkins’ land… mother’s maiden name… name of first pet… name of first grade teacher… place the old mill used to be…”
@Ukulele Ike:
There are certain Comics Curmudgeon snippets that live in my brain – “whore chair” among them, but the one I think fairly often, when I’m cleaning house, was from Apartment 3G:
“Bitch makes me bathroom”.
I don’t expect others to remember that, but it makes me laugh.
Side note: I know we’re all here for pure snark. It’s why this is all so damn beautiful. But coming straight, does Dick Tracy make ANY sense right now? I feel it’s passed from mysterious to nonsensical (again), but maybe I’m just stupid?
Mary’s Worst: Is Mary technically “like Belle” and never to be let into the Weston apartment again?
@Old School Allie Cat: You’ve stumped me! Did Margo force her immigrant mother to scrub her toilet?
@A Grave Mind: Someone stole the most famous American painting of the past hundred years, frame and all, and left it in this guy’s apartment. He’s currently the only person occupying the building. He’s named after a semi-famous fictional amateur sleuth/antiques dealer created by Jonathan Gash. He has an evil doppelgänger. There is another painting in one of the unoccupied apartments, which first Lovejoy and then Tracy described as “tacky.” So Tracy is now an art critic.
Yes, this is fuckin’ nuts. More like a Batm@n comic book plot than anything else. I’m looking for the Joker or the Riddler to turn up and start mugging for the camera.
Maybe Avery is Belle’s STEPbrother?
@113 Ukulele Ike: I totally forgot about the “whore chair.” Thanks for the reminder!
@114 GarrisonSkunk: Worst. Foreplay. Ever.
@122 Austria: It’s been a while. Stick around, willya?
@Austria: There’s nothing wrong with giving yoosta bee directions as long as the other person shares a point of reference. (I have to admit that I try to avoid giving them at all since my sense of direction doesn’t really hook up to the verbal part of my brain.)
@133 Artist formerly known as Ben: Is using distinctive former business buildings still Plugger-y? Like “go past the closed K-Mart and turn right at the Mexican restaurant that was a Pizza Hut.”
JP: Nooooo, not April again, nooooooooo! Some of us want Norway, dammit! As long-suffering followers of JP, we have EARNED Norway!!
@Horace Broon: Bwahaha! I’d put my money on Shannon. She’s smaller but merciless.
@Little Guy: Interesting. I’m thinking about that but for some reason my head is hurting.
@Poteet: Did you honestly expect Manley to draw Norway?
The best we could expect was the interior of the Oslo airport, the interior of the bus that transports them to the Deep North, and then the stables they were hired to muck out.
Meanwhile, back on his Long Island veranda, Glen sips a cool gin and tonic in an Adirondack chair. “‘Don’t do oral,’ huh, bitch? Okay, enjoy ‘Norway.’ Heh-heh.”
@Liam: H&J-Ah. Did somebody read today’s “Six Chix”?
I try not to.
Judge Parker: Somehow, Sophie will end up at the Svalbard Global Seed Vault in Norway.
Because, you know, seeds!
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
@pugfuggly: Maybe liberals feel that after four years of a President with dementia and the cover up of such perpetuated by the government and the media creeping authoritarianism doesn’t seem so bad.
@126 Abram Beazer:
I don’t think it’s a GPS at all. He’s talking to his mother on a CB radio.
@Baja Gaijin: Well my heart bleeds for that Mexican restaurant but you take the storefront you can get, I guess.
Marvin Spanish to English.
@Old School Allie Cat: More zippers, mule!
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith Spanish to English.
Up until about a year and a half ago, I still had a landline at the house. All of the businesses that had it as a number would have to give me codes that way. But, they invented this radical new product called “pen and paper” that you can use to record those codes. Anyway, I had a problem with phone line, so I ported that number to a cell phone.
@143 Sequitur: Occam’s Razor and all that.
@144 Artist formerly known as Ben: I’ve found the best Mexican restaurants can be found in buildings not built as Mexican restaurants like former Pizza Huts and former family steakhouses like Ryans or Fire Mountain.
@Kenny Copeland: Presidential dementia is old hat. You don’t remember Reagan?
@Ukulele Ike: I’m laughing.