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Mary Worth, 12/10/25

We all know, of course, that Mary Worth takes place in a world similar to but not exactly like our own, where America’s most famous 20th century actor is the handsome Saul Lewman and Sonia Sotomayor served out her career as a Superior Court Judge in Santa Royale County. But I’m sorry, the proposal that the greatest stage actor who ever lived in this universe is someone called “Sir Richard Wellbottom” is simply too much for me to believe. This man would be haunted by the cruel nickname “Dick Goodass” and would never find the strength to perform on stage!

Crankshaft, 12/10/25

For years there was a running bit in Funky Winkerbean about a guy/monster/entity that looks like a person made out of pizza boxes who haunted Montoni’s, and as near as I can tell I never bothered commenting on it or even thinking about it all that much in my years of blogging about the strip, but post-Funky, this being has migrated to Crankshaft for some reason and I just want to be on the record as agreeing with this little girl. It isn’t right! This shouldn’t be in the newspaper! It’s dumb and weird and nobody cares!

Herb and Jamaal, 12/10/25

The full quote here is “When they study our civilization two thousand years from now, there will only be three things that Americans will be known for: the Constitution, baseball and jazz music. They’re the three most beautiful things Americans have ever created.” Why do you think this strip left out the “only”? Is it because it wants you to believe, against all evidence, that in the distant future there will be four things Americans will be known for: the Constitution, baseball, jazz music, and the comic strip Herb and Jamaal? It could happen! You never know!

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Blondie, 12/9/25

I’m pretty impressed that Alexander and Cookie have figured out how to mirror both their phones to the TV simultaneously, and even more impressed that they’ve managed to seize control of the wheeled TV stand, turn it 90 degrees from its usual position facing Dagwood, and roll it towards the viewer, yet somehow still have it visible to Blondie. I’m not impressed that Cookie thinks a circa 1985 camcorder is going to help her with her vlogging career.

Mary Worth, 12/9/25

Ah, yes, Ian has awoken to discover that the eternal struggle between man and bird has escalated yet further during his slumber! Is Toby to blame for this latest attack, since she bought Sunny an ample cage in which one might expect him to be confined at night, but then didn’t close the door? Well, maybe, but surely any animal clever enough to identify the particular bit of hoarded detritus to which Ian is most fiercely emotionally attached couldn’t be held back by some feeble latch.

Dennis the Menace, 12/9/25

Gotta say I’m intrigued by how philosophical Mr. Wilson looks here. Another birthday to celebrate, and the only people who showed up are his wife, who lives there anyway, and his most hated enemy, who is also a five-year-old child … truly, life is a funny old thing, and you never know exactly where you’re going to end up.

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Hi and Lois, 12/8/25

Let’s forget for a moment the incomprehensible/not funny punchline of this one and try to understand the lead-up to it. Why is Chip telling his father, who is watching exactly the same movie that he is, that there’s a parental warning on it? Shouldn’t Hi be just as capable of reading it as Chip is? Is it written in some format that only teens can read, like, uh, Minecraft font? Is there a Minecraft font? Is Minecraft still a thing that teens like, in the year 2025?

Zits, 12/8/25

Honestly, while I’m fine with the Zits parents (who were my boomer parents’ age when the strip debuted in the ’90s) staying the same age but becoming Gen Xers, I’m a little unsettled by Jeremy (who was just a few years younger than me when the strip debuted in the ’90s) staying the same age but being into things that contemporary teens are into, like Minecraft. I mean, Minecraft is still a thing that teens like, in the year 2025, right? “Watching” Minecraft? Surely the syndicated newspaper comic strip Zits wouldn’t steer me wrong about teens!

Gil Thorp, 12/8/25

In 1966, Gay Talese transformed the art of magazine writing with “Frank Sinatra Has A Cold,” a profile that turned Sinatra’s refusal to give an interview into a central part of its structure. Will Gil Thorp do the same for the newspaper comics with “Gil Thorp Has A Serious Respiratory Illness Of Some Kind”? I mean, maybe? Or maybe Gil will just sweat a lot, who knows.

B.C., 12/8/25

The characters in B.C. live with a strange mix of stone age technology and modern conveniences and attitudes. This is not a criticism! I get that this is, in fact, the central joke of the strip! However, today’s installment does make me wonder if one of the modern things they have access to is the rabies vaccine. I worry!