Metapost: Quick COTW
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Here ya go, this week’s comment of the week:
“We’ve all just barely accepted that the Lockhorns are millennials, but must we now face the even more chilling possibility that Leroy is good at his job? If these are the last six employees at the company and he’s one of them? Surely Mr. Squidfingers isn’t keeping him around for his personality.” –Navigator
And this week’s hilarious runners up:
“Usually, when someone processing a lifetime of trauma finally gets a chance to meet an estranged family member, it will be one step in a years-long journey. But not Brandy! She went away for a couple weeks and ‘got the answers she needed.” Now she’s ready to return to her established life and talk loudly about how good everything is. Truly, she is a perfect match for Tommy.” –Nevin, on Patreon
“If Dennis has been exposed to one lesson in life, it’s that Mr Wilson is not deserving of any respect from anyone, ever.” –MKay
“‘At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.’ Well, it says nothing about no strings sex!” –Ettorre
“As a chronically anxious person, I understand all too well that the mind will often go to incredible lengths to find something to worry about, justified or not. So what was Martha agonizing over before George’s low-effort remark prompted this prodigious display of sarcasm? They’re pretty old, so probably the fear of death, right? Martha is worried that after their rapidly-approaching demise there’s nothing, nonexistence, oblivion, and that thought absolutely terrifies her. No wonder George’s advice didn’t help! George, of course, has no fear of death, because he figures anything is preferable to that fucking Mitchell kid.” –Vulpes
“A quick Google reveals that Deepwater Horizon blew only 4 months after Dustin started as a comic strip. Coincidence? Probably, yeah.” –Comically Challenged
“Well, the workout didn’t give Crankshaft a heart attack, so hopefully the pizza will.” –nescio
“Dustin is such a huge fan of Mark Wahlberg (a real Wicked Pissah Wahlhead, as they call themselves) that he’s watched the entire Wahlberg filmography, even 2016’s Deepwater Horizon — an action movie with no memorable moments, that somehow cost $156 million to make and I think I might be the only person who saw it in a theater. Naturally, he’s memorized all Wahlberg’s classic lines of dialogue like. ‘The Deepwatah Horizon oil spill dumped 150 million fuckin’ gallons of oil into the fuckin’ ocean’ and he’ll bust them out any chance he gets.” –Schroduck
“This is the most disturbing facial expression ever used on Crankshaft. Horny for pizza.” –Rusty
“The wife tells her husband that they need to clean out their hoard for the sale so it looks like no one lives there. Lois corrects her: ‘No. Not no one! Just you two. I already hate you and we only just met.’” –Hibbleton
“I mean, come on. You have a picture hanging at an almost 45 degree angle. There’s ‘lived in’ and then there’s ‘given up on life.’” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Staging a house for sale is not ‘getting rid of all the junk so it looks like no one lives here.’ It’s just the opposite! It means filling the house with new, more elegant, minimalist junk — so potential buyers can imagine themselves living there, except as more tasteful and discerning people who know exactly how to fan three travel magazines over the coffee table so they look perfect. Real-estate agent Lois must understand this — in fact, she’s applied the same principle to her own family’s cavernous home, to the point where there are entire rooms where there’s clearly nothing comfortable to sit in.” –BigTed
“It’s incredible how this strip manages to take any interesting story subject and find the most boring direction to take it in. A couple of teenaged twin scammers with a desire for revenge? What if, instead of watching them pull scams, we spent weeks with the brainstorming scams ideas, and rejecting them all for practical reasons? Maybe we could also put them in a blue void, just to make sure that there’s nothing interesting going on in the background.” –pugfuggly
“Who barges into choir practice and screams that the choir director has to leave without any explanation? Crankshaft, I know the answer is Crankshaft; it’s rhetorical. It’s outrageous behavior, though, and there’d better be a magical fire that only Harry’s piss can extinguish; that’s all I’m saying.” –Victor Von
“Hang on. You have these precise, extremely uniform bobs, the exact same shade of Tang. Matching tops and matching manicures — but squatting is too much of a commitment?” –Old School Allie Cat
“Yes, Ed. Everyone already knows about the ‘Dogs Playing Poker’ picture.” –Liam
“I have never seen Mother Goose so happy and good for her. Get that crossword, girl!” –matt w
“Technically, Grimm, it’s Lake Champlain, at least in March 1998 when Senate Bill 927 was signed by Bill Clinton before an uproar resulted in an amendment to the bill. Oh, jokes are funny but the fat-cats in Washington diluting our Great Lakes to provide lake research money to their state cronies isn’t? Oh, sorry, Attila, I should have realized that fat-cat is a bit of an insult to you.” –Voshkod
“But they’re in front of him. The flames. They’re in front of him. He’s looking at them. He’s looking at the flames that are in front of him. Look, I’m not asking for Paul Greengrass-style realism from Daddy Daze of all things, I know better than that, but if the guy a) can see well enough to drive, b) is able to parse that his pre-verbal child is making some kind of reference to fire, and c) has, like, nerves, he can absolutely detect a fire that is four inches and a thin pane of glass away from him.” –els
“Everything indicates that Angus is under one year old, meaning he should be in a rear-facing seat. Granted, this would impede the setup of today’s joke, but honestly the joke isn’t doing much to justify the effort.” –TheDiva
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