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Blondie, 8/6/25

Look, obviously Mr. Dithers is an asshole, but also Dagwood is talking to his wife on speaker while standing like six inches away from Dithers while he’s trying to work? The dysfunctionality of this relationship goes both ways, is what I’m saying.

Dennis the Menace, 8/6/25

Alice cringing and saying “My cooking, which you notoriously hate … is that why you’re so angry?” while Dennis stares sullenly off into space: this is by far the most menacing this strip has been in quite some time.

Slylock Fox, 8/6/25

Max is roughly the same size as this goat kid and wants to play video games with him … is it possible that Max Mouse, assistant police detective, is a child? This entirely reorders how I think about his relationship with Slylock, and not for the better.

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Herb and Jamaal, 8/5/25

“I guess this would be considered illegal…”

Hmm, what’s he reading about? Sounds juicy

“…if they didn’t call it a law.”

Ah, I get it, we’re doing a “none dare call it treason” bit. Bold!

“Every law is made for a reason…”

Yes, Herb, yes, it’s time to speak truth to power

“…even when it penalizes those to whom the law would never apply.”

I … uh … um … ????????

Wizard of Id, 8/5/25

Hey guys! Remember back in March, when Wizard of Id compared blocking somebody’s number to shooting a bird, with a gun, from the tower of a castle? Well, here’s today’s Wizard of Id, which compares blocking a spam e-mail to shooting a bird, with a magical power bolt, from the tower of a castle. Honestly excited to see what other important form of communication is going to get this treatment five months from now.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/5/25

Have you ever walked away from a concert disappointed by the energy level of the band, feeling like the musicians were kind of phoning it in and weren’t fully present for the performance? Well, have you considered that maybe they had spent their whole lives thinking one guy they had never met was their dad, but then they did a DNA test and found out a different guy they never met was their dad and that guy was dead, and now they’ve sent messages to their newly discovered half-siblings on Facebook but never heard back, and it’s eating them up inside? Bet you hadn’t thought of that, huh? Bet you’re just a rude and inconsiderate person. It’s all about what you want.

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Slylock Fox, 8/4/25

You might remember a few years back when supposed genius entrepreneur Elizabeth Holmes started a company called Theranos that could run multiple medical tests from a very small amount of blood, something that was of great interest to me as a needlephobe and apparently to lots of other people too, because the company raised billions of dollars and had multiple former Secretaries of State on its board of directors, but then it turned out that the technology never worked and the product was never shipped and it was all an enormous scam. At a certain point Theranos stalled for time by announcing a big partnership with Walgreens and sending them these machines that were big boxes that performed “blood analysis” if you stuck in a vial with a normal-sized blood sample, and eventually someone opened it up and discovered it was just running the exact same tests a regular lab would run, with off-the-shelf equipment kind of all jammed in there together. What I’m trying to say is that Count Weirdly isn’t selling fake honey; he’s selling real honey out of a “machine” that’s full of enslaved bees. It’s an easy mistake to make for a fox who wasn’t sapient during the final, fraud-heavy chapter of human civilization.

Judge Parker, 8/4/25

Oh, by the way, April’s Norwegian spy encounter ended in violence and possible kidnapping, but I didn’t really cover it here because, what, do you log in to this website for terrifying thrills? No, you want to be soothed, and so here, here’s a strip from the “cool down” phase of this plot, in which a character who was not present for the incident but who heard about it from someone who was relays the information she’s gleaned secondhand to a third party.