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Luann, 7/5/25

Many dads enjoy drinking coffee out of mugs that declare them to be the “World’s Best Dad” or “#1 Dad” or the like, generally purchased for them by their children. Not Frank Degroot, though. The mug he’s holding as he hands out extremely noncommittal advice merely acknowledges the bare fact that he is in fact a father. How does he rank compared to others in similar roles? Well, that’s not for him or his mug to say.

Dick Tracy, 7/5/25

I guess I never really explained the plot of this current Dick Tracy art theft storyline in any detail, huh? Well, it’s wrapping up now, and it turns out the solution to the mystery was “time travel, somehow”. I don’t really feel like getting further into it but I do want to suggest that you use phrase “Hypocrite! Without this ‘time portal’ you’re nothing!” in your everyday life, because it’s pretty great.

Pluggers, 7/5/25

You’re a plugger if you determine wash day by sense of smell … which you can do very easily, because your sense of smell is very keen, because you’re a dog! You’re a damn dog! Nobody wants to say it out loud, but I’m brave enough to tell the truth about what we’re all looking at! That’s a dog smelling that shirt!

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OK, sorry, I missed dawn’s early light, even on the West Coast, but here is your comment of the week nonetheless:

“Is Dr. Jeff’s ‘again’ meant to indicate that he’s already (willfully?) forgotten what Mary’s told him, or does it display his belief that Wilbur’s life is a karmic circle of disasters that are superficially varied but basically the same thing happening to him over and over?” –Pozzo

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Somehow, it seems like Sigmund Freud would have been a more appropriate choice to quote in Mary Worth today. What’s German for ‘man, that’s completely fucked up’?” –Dmsilev

“Y’all, are we sure they’re playing chess at home? It looks more like the White Void comic strip characters love to visit. Maybe it’s some kind of timeshare?” –Victor Von

“WILBUR: ‘I just … I want to get on a plane, leave Santa Royale…’ [Literally the entire cast is gathered at the window, watching eagerly — major characters like Toby and Ian, infrequent appearances like Saul Wynter, total one-offs like Keith the beefy daughter-haver and Esmé the smoking boat seductress; everybody.] MARY [trying to subtly but desperately wave everyone away, they’re going to blow this]: ‘It’s perfectly normal, Wilbur.’” –Dan Carroll

“The replacement of the Charterstone pool party with ‘private cruise on Dr. Jeff’s yacht’ as the standard Mary Worth storyline interstitial is symptomatic of the broader pandemic-era trend towards isolation and atomization in American society. In this essay, I will…” –Vince, on BlueSky

“The entire bottom of that fish tank is encrusted with blackened filth, and the fish are visibly dirty. Marvin doesn’t do many things right, but the strip is always on-brand.” –Rosstifer

“On the plus side, Leroy’s eyes appear to operate independently, chameleon-like, or are totally blank, depending on how you squint at them. I like the second option, accompanied by a flat, robotic voice, all the better to fit the emotional tone of this strip. You can lead a horse to the greeting card section, but you can’t make him care!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Don’t feel bad, Truck. Maybe Cody will have a kid soon. Then you can be a terrible grandfather.” –MKay

“Truck’s fiancée is trying to insert a classic roots country LP into a cheap 90s era CD boombox. This marriage is over before it even began!!!” –Where’s Rocky?

“Humans be damned! We’re setting the gorge guardrails at ‘dog on hind legs’ level!” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“…and the staff at Bed, Bath and Beyond just let him sleep there, for like, days. It’s kinda scary what a grip the military has over this town.” –pugfuggly

“That’s the face of a future supervillain who is going to encase our sun in a Dyson sphere so she can have it all to herself. She’s so adorable!” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I used to know someone fairly into NASCAR, and have half-heartedly sat through a few races. I recall no reason why I should’ve been at an angle to watch. Is this what I was missing, all along, with sports I’m not into? Literal change in perspective? Should I be upside-down for basketball? Would twisting my head 180 degrees make lacrosse endurable? Is perpetual spinning the secret of the Winter Olympics? Or is Gertie, like, pretending she’s having the tires on her couch changed, or something equally soul-dead? It’s that one, isn’t it?” –A Grave Mind

“Yeah, I get that you’re an alcoholic and gambling addict, but my issue with you is that you keep your lounge chair right next to our shared fence in a direct line with our bedroom window. What’s that all about, dude?” –Weaselboy

“I’m starting to think Thirsty isn’t even actually a dysfunctional buffoon, he just pretends to be one so he has a ‘bit’ to identify himself by in the world’s most boring neighborhood.” –ectojazzmage

“Part of their annual ritual to ensure that the Sun comes up for another year.” –Liam

“Hey, look on the bright side: maybe this means the Keane Kompound is about to be obliterated in a rocket attack.” –Schroduck

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Dennis the Menace, 7/4/25

Kind of wild that Mrs. Wilson is waking her husband up by telling him not what time it is, but what day it is, implying that he’s been in bed and slipping in and out of consciousness for weeks. Only the prospect of celebrating America’s independence can lure him back to the world of wakefulness — but it’s just a cruel trick to get him to spend more time with his nemesis Dennis. Look at his horrified face in the second panel! His life is hell!

Family Circus, 7/4/25

Big Daddy Keane, meanwhile, is trying to feign sleep to avoid interacting with his kids on America’s birthday. I guess the real lesson of today’s panels is that children are annoying? America’s old and middle-aged people just want to sleep! Who told these kids about freedom of expression or whatever?