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Herb and Jamaal, 4/14/26

OK, Herb, that’s not what the expression is, first of all, it’s actually about ugly people, who I get you may not want to insult, but I’m just telling you, and second of all, all you’re saying is “to say they’re good at lying is to say [elaborate, awkward metaphor for someone being good at lying].” That’s tautological! Are they lying or not? It’s OK, you haven’t even said specifically who “they” are, so you can still reuse the strip whenever!

Mary Worth, 4/14/26

“I told them ‘Grandpa doesn’t even have a boat’ and ‘that never happened,’ but they just kept saying ‘Any old dude who wears a fuckin’ ascot everywhere has gotta be a boat guy,’ so hopefully you have a bunch of liquid cash to buy a boat with if you want your grandkids to ever spend time with you, because they’re not coming down here from Goleta unless there’s a boat involved.”

Dustin, 4/14/26

I actually appreciate the final panel here, where Dustin’s dad’s facial expression makes it clear that he’s had a truly harrowing experience trying to log on to his bank’s website. And good! That’s right, old man, the world is changing and you will never catch up! I hope you enjoy the icy feeling of death on the back of your neck, because it’s only going to get stronger!

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Gil Thorp, 4/13/26

Look, in general I’ve been in favor of Marty Moon’s sartorial evolution, but I think that maybe, with this white suit and flowered shirt with matching pocket square, he’s gone a bit too far in the dapper direction. It is, frankly, not really his vibe, and when the country club on whose grounds he is 100% not authorized to be present gets wind of him and the makeshift studio he’s broadcasting from, he’ll have to flee on short notice, and in the very likely scenario where he trips and falls in the process, the grass stains will never come out of that jacket.

The Lockhorns, 4/13/26

I stand by my earlier complaint about strips where we start in mid conversation but one character is just repeating back to the other one material covered previously in the conversation, but honestly, given that The Lockhorns is a one-panel strip about a married couple locked in a continuous argument that will never end until the universe achieves its final heat death, it’s kind of impressive that they don’t do it very often.

Crankshaft, 4/13/26

Holy cow, doing a Santa-related pun … in April? Christmas was months ago, do people even remember what Santa’s whole deal is? Better put in a panel depicting him doing his trademark laugh, just in case.

Alice, 4/13/26

Oh, man, social media … you guys heard about this? You heard about how addictive it can be? Alice has just gotten into social media, and it is not going well.

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Dustin, 4/12/26

To misquote Mystery Science Theater 3000, you should never reference a good comic in your shitty comic, and say what you will about Garfield but it’s a relentlessly efficient machine for amusing 8-year-olds, whereas Dustin has never amused anyone ever. Today’s strip makes it clear that Dustin requires three separate characters to achieve what Garfield does with one. This is not something you want to draw attention to!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/12/26

I don’t like this one because Ma Goose’s uninhabited shirt in the mirror looks exactly the same in both panels, and that makes it clear that she’s turned her head 180 degrees without any other part of her body moving. It’s uncanny. Is that something birds can do in real life? I don’t really care, honestly, they don’t as a rule wear shirts in real life so I don’t think that’s actually relevant.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/12/26

Oh, wow, this is actually a good bait and switch: we thought Mae Mae’s cover was going to be blown by the suspicious mustachio’d non-Mud customer at the diner, when in fact her cover’s going to be blown by Mud, because he absolutely cannot keep a secret or even have a thought without immediately verbalizing it. Not sure if he’s relapsing or if the Mirakle Method simply didn’t cover this situation, but either way, it’s more than Mae Mae’s feet that are in danger!

Hi and Lois, 4/12/26

I guess in theory I’m all for Hi and Lois updating itself for modern suburban life, but I gotta say “the Flagstons and Thurstons take their cuck stuff to the golf course” is a little bit more than I can handle.