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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/26/26

As predicted by literally everybody, sad-sack failed salesman Lonnie has figured out that Mae Mae is Lorna and is going to cash in by selling this info to the Morganverse TMZ analogue. The most surprising thing is that the Morganverse TMZ analogue has a publicly available phone number and someone who works there will answer it more or less immediately when you call.

Shoe, 4/26/26

“Who was that? Another telemarketer?” is … kind of a weird set up for this joke? I guess it’s because Shoe didn’t actually talk to his ex, but just stared at his phone dead-eyed as it rang, didn’t answer it, and then silently read the transcript of the extremely sarcastic message she left on his voicemail. And what, did a person make a phone call? In this day and age? And wanted to talk to Shoe? It doesn’t add up.

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Mary Worth, 4/25/26

Remember when Dr. Jeff, who’s allergic to cats, discovered that he wasn’t allergic to hypoallergenic cats, so Mary immediately got a cat? And many of us suspected that this was not because she actually wanted a cat, but was instead some kind of power move? Well, I think that instinct has been proven right with today’s strip, in which Mary is returning from a visit to Dr. Jeff’s house, on which she has brought her cat along, something that (as a longtime cat guy, I can say this with some authority) most cats would not enjoy at all, and you would only ever do it to prove some kind of point, and even then only if you were a bad person. Anyway, I don’t particularly remember Jeff having a “big house in the woods,” but I suppose the forest will make for a dramatic setting when “Trixie,” still on the run from the scam compound, bursts out of the trees and then Mary hits him with her car.

Pluggers, 4/25/26

Based on the image, I assumed that the caption on this one was going to be along the lines of “pluggers still have a basket of reading material in their bathroom” (laudatory, we as a society lost something when smartphones stopped us from reading months-old Reader’s Digests or The Big Book of Fun Facts while we’re on the can) or “pluggers still carpet their toilets for some reason” (gross, extremely gross). Instead it’s “pluggers feel the need to impose their preferences on everyone else,” which does track, I guess.

Wizard of Id, 4/25/26

Here’s today’s Wizard of Id. It’s about a witch with a terrible drinking problem! There’s not a “joke” in it per se.

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Woo it’s the FREAKIN’ WEEKEND baby and it’s time for your comment of the week!

“I eat again at the so-called Soul Food place, and yet again I fail to consume a soul. Am I misinterpreting the signs, or is this place lying to me? The owner pries into my writing. I tell him only truth, and he seems troubled. Perhaps his soul is troubled. I could calm it. I could devour it. His partner is nowhere to be seen. The restaurant is empty. Today I will eat soul food.” –Voshkod

Also time for your extremely hilarious runners up!

“Man, the little frog dude is DEEP in thought over there. It’s just Swiss cheese, guy! Unless you’re wondering what in a deli a frog would be eating, which, yeah, that whole deal is pretty damn weird!” –A Grave Mind

“Alone at last, Hi has the self-satisfied look of a man who’s just let out a huge fart he’s been holding in a long time.” –Hibbleton

“Teaching children about the difference between transitive and intransitive verbs is actually much more useful than the dubious factoids Slylock Fox usually gives out, so kudos.” –Ettorre

“This is your hype man, Dagwood? Shorter, balder, Abe Vigoda? Kind of makes you question the concept of hype men, doesn’t it?” –Victor Von

“Leroy should try weaponized neediness at home. It just might be the catalyst that blows up the whole miserable thing.” –MKay

“To add insult to injury, since none of them died in battle, none of them are going to Valhalla, and thanks to Brother Olaf, they’re probably all going to Hell!” –Charterstone: Dune

“Come on, a plugger doesn’t stare a big plate of peas and carrots and … is that hummus? … and think ‘Mmm, I just wish I could eat more of these healthy vegan treats.’ A plugger envies a cow’s four stomachs because KFC sells bucket meals that feed four.” –Schroduck

“Note, it doesn’t say that pluggers envy cows for having four stomachs. It says they envy the stomachs themselves. Oh what bliss, to be nothing but a giant stomach! Or possibly four of them, even better.” –Peanut Gallery

“This incident is going to haunt Herb, a man whose own thoughts are so wholesome he can say them aloud whenever he chooses. It had never occurred to him that some thoughts are not fit for public dissemination. What could those thoughts be? WHAT IS ON THOSE PAGES???” –Joe Blevins

“Gotta give it to the hipsters of Rex Morgan, M.D., Mud would never eat in something as gauche as a McDonald’s. Why, I bet their employees aren’t even allowed to style their facial hair after Chester A. Arthur! Phooey!” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I like the contrast between the two garbage men in their reaction to Heathcliff’s enormous monument to trash. One considers it a literal work of art, not only a tribute to Heathcliff but also to his own noble profession, and gazes upon it in wide-eyed reverence. The other furrows his brow in annoyance as he realizes whose responsibility it is to clean this mess up.” –Vulpes

“You know what they say, ‘Keep your friends close, but keep your doddering parent who’s liable to give your inheritance away if you don’t maintain constant surveillance on their internet usage closer.’” –But What Do I Know?

“Wait, so … neither of us wants to be at this restaurant? Can we leave then?” –Navigator

“In 2027 NASCAR will celebrate 20 years of not using leaded gas. That’s after, say, 40 years of Gertie’s in-person fandom. It explains a lot.” –ValdVin

“It’s bad enough she ran out of gas, but she also ran out of tires.” –Everybody Posts, Nobody Reads

“Maybe this is Dennis’ way of telling his parents that there’s a huge pile of dog shit in the other room, and now he’s running out of the house. That’s fairly menacing.” –Nevin, on Patreon

“Given hulky guy’s big ‘snifff’ in panel two, it’s cocaine, right? ‘Hot wings and beer’ must be the elaborate euphemism the cool jocks use to keep their drugs away from the nerds.” –Lawyerbob

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