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Hi and Lois, 10/12/26

I admit that, as a non-kid-haver, I’m not fully up on the ages at which kids are allowed to be left on their own and/or put in charge of their siblings these days, and I’m given to understand that this has shifted since I was a teen, but still: Chip is old enough to watch his siblings, right? Or at least not be dragged along to the office with other kids? This question sent me down a rabbit hole trying to figure out Chip’s age and the amount of freedom his parents allow him, and I’m here to report that he’s learning how to drive, goes on unsupervised dates to the movies, and takes his little brother along on walks around the neighborhood, which you’d think would be enough evidence to make today’s antics unnecessary. On the other hand, at one point he told Dot about Studio 54, which might’ve led to her asking some questions that ultimately resulted in a lot of privileges being revoked.

Judge Parker, 10/12/26

Oh, hey, remember how April was going to pick up Charlotte and take her to school? Well, she never showed up, and the reason why is that she got scooped up off the street and taken to a CIA black site somewhere. I guess they’re calling black sites “regional offices” now, to present a more professional, more chill, less terrifying kind of branding to the outside world. That’s not how most of the US government is doing things currently, but the security services always zag when everyone else is zigging, you know?

Alice, 10/12/26

Big news about Alice’s car saga: Remember when she said that today’s cars were too expensive and didn’t need all that stuff, but then rented a car and backslid and said she could get very spoiled with all the new features, but then later declared her current 25-year-old car “perfect” because it had “no technology” and got her where she wanted to go? Well, it seems she bought a new car after all, and she likes it, but she misses the simplicity of the old car, and the old price tag too. Who could’ve predicted this? You could’ve, Alice! I’ve assembled incontrovertible evidence that you predicted every aspect of the mess in which you find yourself! You have no excuse!

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Mary Worth, 10/11/26

Apologies, Mary Worth, for implying a few days ago that this dream sequence would not match the boxing Wilburbabies in madness. Parrots! Toby’s beloved parrots! Who, in her mind (at least the subconscious part) are lovers? Perhaps the only two true lovers that Toby knows? And thus she’s imagining various parts of them fading in and out and being replaced by Mary and Ian’s corresponding parts? Bleak stuff! Bleak, terrifying stuff! I like the fact that Ian’s tie and Mary’s trademark cowl neck are the only features that remain constant in both parrot-human hybrid variations. I hope these images recur to haunt Toby for months to come!

Shoe, 10/11/26

Oh, it looks like Shoe also has a dead uncle to crack wise about. He doesn’t merit some kind of cute wordplay, though. “Yeah, he was a dumb asshole and he blew himself up,” that’s what Shoe wants us to know about him. “His guts were everywhere, it was awful.”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/11/26

Cinderella is giving Prince Charming real bedroom eyes here, implying that her “great” is not sarcastic and that pumpkin spell is a powerful aphrodisiac in the Grimmiverse. Much to think about.

Blondie, 10/11/26

No! No!! The creators of Blondie have learned about the Gigachad meme! We need to cut the boomers off from the internet en

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Hi and Lois, 10/10/26

What really makes this strip, obviously, is Lois in the second panel watching over this scene from inside anxiously, with her arms folded. She wants to make sure Chip is capable of forming appropriate emotional bonds so he doesn’t turn out a broken loser like Thirsty, and also wants to make sure the boys rake the yard properly so their house isn’t a neighborhood eyesore like Thirsty’s.

Crankshaft, 10/10/26

Do they really make pilltainers that are as long as a man’s torso? That’s not a thing, right? Maybe that’s why Crankshaft looks so put off in the last couple panels. The joke in this strip was supposed to be about this comically large pilltainer! I carried it all the way over here! Now you’re telling me the joke is about an app that electrocutes you? This is amateur hour, we gotta get our shit together!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/10/26

“The devil wears crocs, and also walks on tippy-toes, which looks really unnatural but it’s the only way to really convey to the reader that he’s wearing crocs, and we already got most of the way into putting together a strip based on this joke and don’t have time to come up with another one, so I guess we’re just going to draw him like this??!”

Mary Worth, 10/10/26

“No, it’s … not true! I mean, yes, it would be gross if it were true, but it’s not true, therefore it’s … not gross? I gotta wake up and start making a diagram here.”