Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/31/25
Wait, is something happening in Rex Morgan, M.D.? Is something interesting happening in Rex Morgan, M.D.? Wild. Truly wild. Something’s happening. Who would’ve guessed it?
Blondie, 5/31/25
Guys, you’ve both been angling to swing with Ernie and Lily for months now! You think your wives don’t know? They know!
Pluggers, 5/31/25
Sorry, dog-man, it’s actually Saturday! Close, though. So close.
[Joke or quip setting up COTW and establishing that the reader has been waiting for it all week goes here]
“Mrs Wilson’s smiling face makes the gag work. ‘Enjoy hell, George.’” –Hibbleton
[Comment establishing that the runners up are also very funny goes here]
“That hot dog is clearly too big to be anything but an actual dog. I’m guessing dachshund, primarily for the ‘weenie dog’ jokes, although based on the size and shape, Scottish terrier is also a possibility.” –Veronica!
“It’s morally wrong, if not always technically illegal, to taunt someone on a hunger strike with delicious food. On the other hand, if anyone knows about the ins and outs of force-feeding, it’s a duck. ‘Looks like this time you’re the pâté, eh, human?!’ says Officer McQuacky as he ominously pushes the giant tube of grains and fat toward Weirdly’s mouth.” –BigTed
“Sorry, we’re supposed to believe a lot of things about Wilbur, but the first panel just breaks my suspension of disbelief. There is no way Wilbur owns that many books, let alone has read that many in his lifetime.” –Philip
“Dagwood must be on fire! He’s paying the bills for every family on our block! He’s really in the zone right now!” –Just John
“Lady Luck has seen the striped horrors on Dagwood’s feet and decided that, yes, daddy does need a new pair of shoes.” –Guts Dozier
“Lmao that Lois went to the library in her realtor blazer and everything to trawl for leads. ‘ABC. Always Be [hanging out in the middle of the workday around the library’s] Computer.’” –Schroduck
“Green-shirt companion is clearly talking — mouth open eyebrows raised — yet has no word balloon. There must have been a line cut for space. Perhaps, ‘Who even are you? Have you been stalking us online?’” –Stuart F
“What really sells this as menacing is the way that Dennis clambers up the back of the chair like a spider monkey to deliver that line right into Mr Wilson’s ear. Do you think he’s whispering it in a sing-song voice? I’ll bet he is.” –pugfuggly
“Okay Wizard of Id, I know you beat Hagar the Horrible to the whole faux-medieval shtick by a decade, but they have the whole battlefield joke beat on lockdown. Your thing is jokes about kings and other powerful figures, and the prisoners they keep locked up, secure in their castles on the core European continent, while they handle the ragtag armies of Scandinavian barbarians come to take your characters’ wealth. Know your strengths and stick to your turf. I helped fend off those 20th century insurgents, the least you could do is return the favor for me.” –Morgan Wick
“Let’s see: mouth mirror, dentist chair, smock (actually a lab coat, close enough), and gaping yaw. You’ve hit all the iconography; I really don’t see the need to have the word ‘dentist’ spelled backward on the window.” –Weaselboy
“The existence of a yellow coat and a green coat imply an equally-sized blue coat, now missing. Get a warrant while you’re out, Lee: someone’s broken the law — the Law of Color.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“The Blondie writers seem like the kind of folks who would pull out some 2012 meme like Overly Attached Girlfriend and smile smugly about how they’re with it. As opposed to me, pulling out Overly Attached Girlfriend and smiling smugly about how I’m ironically dated. They annoy me!” –matt w
“So is Dagwood’s carpool just waiting outside his house thinking he’s going to come running out late as usual and he’s plum forgotten, or have they had enough of his BS and now he has to take the school bus to work?” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Mary Worth reworked as a moody A24-style horror, where the murderous house guest is a metaphor for Wilbur’s (waves hand dismissively in Wilbur’s direction) whole deal, and they can’t get rid of her but also nobody ever quite dies, everyone just lives in terror of the next awful event.” –Dan
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Blondie, 5/30/25
Here’s a joke for you: a guy with a master’s degree in ancient history and a guy with an MFA in poetry were coworkers once, back in the late ’90s. The punchline is that they were coworkers as office temps doing filing at a professional association for orthodontists. Obviously they chatted to occupy their overeducated brains while putting resumes in alphabetical order, and the guy with the ancient history degree (me) somehow got onto the topic of the Steve Miller song “Take The Money And Run,” and how it’s a crime that in one verse it rhymes “Texas,” “facts is,” “justice,” and “taxes.” The university-trained poet, to be contrary, insisted this was (in a phrase that is burned forever in my brain) “a slant rhyme, like Emily Dickinson would use.” I didn’t buy it then and I don’t buy it now, so sorry, Elmo, it’s a good try but “screens” and “memes” don’t quite rhyme either. Also, are teachers actually showing angry memes to children? I was going to argue this point too, but you know what, a lot of teachers are pretty young, and as an old person, I have decided that any conflicts between Zoomers and Gen Alpha or whatever we’re calling the children now are none of my business. I’m holding the line on the rhyme thing, though.
Mary Worth, 5/30/25
After finally catching Belle in an act of total madness, Wilbur has now decided that she should leave, actually! How is he going to make that happen? Well, he’s not sure about that one. He’s mostly an “ideas guy.” Maybe Dawn can fill in the details.
Family Circus, 5/30/25
I love that we get a good look at the other kids outside, just vibing and enjoying the Jeffy-free lifestyle. Once Jeffy deliberately hid from their sight, this became the best day of their whole week!