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Pluggers, 3/30/26

Wait, so we’re saying that pluggers … don’t like sports? Watching the wildly popular NCAA basketball tournament is non-plugger behavior? Pluggers prefer to pore over their financial statements, like a bunch of fucking nerds? Is that what pluggers have come to these days? This is much more shocking than them being poly now or whatever.

Archie, 3/30/26

I have to say that a dark horse for “most unrealistic aspect of Archie comics” is that Veronica, daughter of the most cartoonishly wealthy family in town, attends the local public school with the plebes. That having been said, this is a decent joke, and in my opinion what really makes it is that it’s Archie who’s been assigned the task of delivering the RSVP, despite the Lodges canonically having a butler.

Dick Tracy, 3/30/26

Oh, hey, I guess we know why Silver Nitrate has had such anxiety since he’s been in prison: turns out he’s a snitch! I sure hope none of his fellow prisoners read the syndicated newspaper comic strip Dick Tracy.

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Beetle Bailey, 3/29/26

The last panel here fills me with nothing but contempt. Apparently the only way they could think of to visually drive home that Sarge had pizza at bedtime was to put a pizza box in bed with him, but then they put it in a wildly unrealistic position (open? on his thighs?) and drew it without any identifying features so it looks like a laptop. Beetle is there to deliver the necessary information anyway. The rest of the strip is fine, definitely not the most unpleasant dream sequence the strip has ever done.

Mary Worth, 3/29/26

OK, I joked yesterday about how maybe dumb old Harvey isn’t the one we should be sympathetic with in this scenario, but if “Trixie” actually manages to escape his awful enslavement thanks to the outdoor privileges he earned scamming Harvey, I think we genuinely have a moral dilemma on our hands here. And who knows, maybe “Trixie” will track down Harvey and tell him the full story and offer to help make him whole to the best of his abilities. And maybe they’ll fall in love! Dare to dream!

Blondie, 3/29/26

Hey, do mild stimulants help you get more productivity out of your workers? For a little while, anyway, is what Dithers just found out. Back to the drawing board! Let’s take that “mild” out next time, maybe!

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Mary Worth, 3/28/26

OK, fine, “Trixie” successfully scammed Harvey out of a six-figure amount, which we do not condone. But, does Harvey need that money, honestly? He seems pretty well off and also likely to die soon, and it’s not like he’s that close to his daughter and only heir. Meanwhile, “Trixie” has been rewarded for the successful grift by being released from his dank, ill-lit prison to get a few precious moments outdoors! Isn’t that more important than whatever non-enslaved-person drama is going on in Charterstone?

B.C., 3/28/26

There’s probably not enough lead time for B.C. to be doing oblique commentary on current events, so I guess this is just a panel about a couple of fish who are going to murder two of this strip’s main characters, using a massive explosion. And good for them!