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Family Circus, 9/30/26

God damn but Gary looks smug here. “That’s right, Mrs. K.! My parents love me, but they don’t love each other … and they’re engaged in a constant but unspoken game of mutual oneupmanship for my affections. The two rooms are just the beginning! I’m really sitting in the catbird seat here! Uh, by which I mean, I see Billy has a lovely home. Just the one, obviously.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/30/26

“We were just taking in the fall colors! Like, uh, green! Green is a color, and it’s fall, so I guess it’s a fall color? I guess it’s fall? What month is it? What year is it? Where am I? Why am I here? Oh, it’s Mud Mountain Murphy! Are you gonna play ‘Muddy Boots?’ I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist that you play ‘Muddy Boots.’”

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Judge Parker, 9/29/26

I haven’t really talked about it much because it’s been super boring, but April and Randy have been having marital problems of the icy silence variety since they got back to Cavelton, maybe because longtime partners sometimes grow apart over time, maybe because Randy had to stand there while April violently killed a guy who wasn’t immediately threatening them right in front of him, who can say. Anyway, due to [gestures vaguely] this whole thing, Charlotte isn’t living with April, and April as mentioned isn’t really spending much time interacting with Randy, and she doesn’t have a “job” as near as I can tell, so I do have to wonder a little bit about why she’s running late here. Maybe she ducked out in the morning just to horribly knife-murder somebody, just to feel something, and it took longer than she expected?

Blondie, 9/29/26

Faithful readers know that Blondie is the most pure uncut boomer mindset comic in the game right now, and I think the list in panel two, which lumps together “ways in which you hold kids in contempt because of their relationship to the phones or whatever” and “ways in which you think rules that kids did not create are proof that kids are wimps,” is a prime example. Also, has it ever been mentioned before that Alexander is on the school football team? I’m not an Athletics Knower necessarily but his physique makes me think that most of his organs are gonna get pulped the very first time he’s tackled, bubble wrap or no.

Mary Worth, 9/29/26

“Could it be … no! Mary would never want to go anywhere fun like Hawaii! Mary only ever wants to go to one restaurant here, in the town where she lives, and it isn’t any good!”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 9/29/26

Big news, everyone: Mother Goose, who has a boyfriend but is still chasing after men, is officially the first non-Archie polyamorous comic strip character! #herstory #representationmatters

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Hi and Lois and Alice, 9/28/26

Artificial intelligence! It’s the future, or maybe the present, and it’s going to change the world, possibly by killing us all, and it’s definitely the driving force behind most financial activity over the past couple years in some hard-to-understand way! So how should we think about it? Should we use it as an opportunity to “do bits” in a way that will cause our long-suffering spouses to roll their eyes hard enough to injure themselves? Or should we just stare ahead with a neutral expression and ask questions about it, just for information, as calmly as possible, lest we enrage it? Well, I have my finger on the pulse of public opinion (i.e., I read the newspaper comics), and I’m here to report that opinions differ.

Mary Worth, 9/28/26

Toby Cameron doesn’t have time to worry about any of this AI nonsense, though. She’s got important snooping to do, learning stuff like the fact that UC Santa Royale is paying for a trip to the famous Maui Luxury House Resort for one of its mid-tier English professors! Is this a good use of increasingly restricted university funding for the humanities? Looks like the California Assembly Committee on Higher Education is about to get a very juicy whistleblower report.