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Dick Tracy, 9/2/26

So I guess that computer didn’t just magically explode, but had actually been already fitted with some kind of internal incendiary device without noticeably increasing its size or weight, which definitely is a real thing that we should believe might happen. Anyway, I personally am loving our jaunty fire inspector here, who loves nothing more than using big, theatrical gestures to walk people through the aftermath of some horrifying incendiary event. Now, obviously he’s seen a “USB killer” used before for pranks and pyrotechnics displays and such. The occasional gender reveal party, you know. That’s just the normal stuff you encounter every day in the fire marshall biz. But murder? Well, that’s a new one on him.

Pluggers, 9/2/26

Now, an unlucky angler pulling a non-fish object out of the water is a classic cartoon bit that we must respect. Usually it’s an old boot or a tin can or something, but given that our dog-man plugger has caught himself a hat, I’m a little puzzled here by what the … excitement? activity? … lines emitting from his bald head are signifying. Are we supposed to understand that this is a beloved long lost hat that blew into the lake weeks or months ago, and his scalp is tingling with excitement at being reunited with it? That this is just some random hat he’s discovered, but he’s been immediately seized by the intrusive thought that he should put it on, despite the fact that it’s no doubt very wet and very disgusting? Or has he in desperation and despite his scalp’s protests decided to use that hat he put on this morning and wore out on this fishing trip as a lure?

Alice, 9/2/26

Hey, you guys heard about the omnipresent surveillance state? You heard about this? Thank goodness information on that topic has now been provided to the no doubt large share of people who only get their news from the comic strip Alice, though I think she’d be a more credible speaker on this point if she wasn’t also convinced that space aliens live in her floorboards.

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Judge Parker, 9/1/26

The best-case scenario when an attractive younger woman marries a rich, driven older man — well, I guess the best-case scenario is that they genuinely like one another, but the second-best-scenario is that the older man got to be so very rich because he’s so very driven, specifically career-driven, and therefore you as the younger woman can enjoy the financial and social benefits of being married to him without, you know, having to spend a ton of time hanging out with him. But because part of the whole deal is that you are younger than him, you run a greater than average risk that your husband will become a depressed old drunk who just kind of hangs around the house all day, cramping your style. Thus, Katherine is eagerly agreeing to Judge Parker Emeritus Senior’s suggestion that he go down to the courthouse and take care of whatever odd jobs they have for him down there. Is he completely with it these days, mentally? Enh, maybe, maybe not, but that’s the Cavelton court system’s problem now. They’re probably equipped to handle it, right?

Gil Thorp, 9/1/26

“Ahh, another school year begun. I’m virtuously setting the tone and putting student athletes first … tryout numbers are strong despite declines in enrollment … God I’m good. I’d make out with myself if it were possible. Wait, thanks to my uncannily clear reflection in this window, it is!” [vivid, unpleasant sounds of tongue wiping across glass]

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Mary Worth, 8/31/26

Hey, everyone, here’s a fun fact, if by “fun” you mean guaranteed to deliver the epiphany that oh my god I’m so old, how did I get to be so old: we are mere weeks away from the 20th anniversary of the death of Aldo Kelrast. Can contemporary Mary Worth come up with a storyline that could come close to that magic? Well, today we’re launching a new one, and I’m mildly hopeful, as it introduces two intriguing things: Mary and Ian spending time together socially and, apparently, enjoying themselves in a quite manic fashion; and some anhedonic old lady sitting in her Charterstone kitchen fuming about how nothing is as good as it used to be when she was young and had her whole life ahead of her. Not even putting oat milk on oat-based cereal (or “oatmaxxing,” as the kids call it) can bring her a frission of pleasure anymore! Looking forward to learning how she’s about to make this everybody else’s problem and nip Mary and Ian’s ha ha!ing in the bud.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/31/26

OK, fine, I guess we’re not going to get to see the scam twins try and fail to pull off a child kidnapping, but at least we’re going to be treated to a Socratic dialogue between Rene and his elaborately coiffed and mustachio’d jail buddy, in which the former attempts to explain how rating on a criminal associate entails turning them in to the authorities, usually in exchange for reducing one’s own looming criminal penalties, and is quite different from activating family networks to dissuade a loved one from a course of action that you don’t believe they’re equipped to handle.

Pluggers, 8/31/26

You could definitely have done a panel with this caption where the plugger is cheerfully strolling ahead with a measured pace, just like many older heavyset adults I see every day do. But we’re in the late Pluggers era, so instead we have to look at this, a “fun” comic in which a plugger is clearly in genuine distress.