“The fact that the guy giving relationship advice to Dawn is the same guy whose last girlfriend tried to murder Dawn makes Mary Worth easily the funniest comic strip being published today.” –Tresspassers W, on Patreon
“I can’t believe the Morgans didn’t start using their own reusable shopping bags since Glenwood banned plastic and Rex found out that the store was going to charge fifteen cents for a paper bag. ‘And let me tell you another thing that’s dishonest, Sarah…’” –But What Do I Know?
“It’s amazing that these two decided to make a living scamming people when they clearly have some kind of disorder that makes them say their entire inner monologue out loud.” –pugfuggly
“With all my heart, I love this angry old lady neighbor character and her stepstool that she climbs on when she wants to yell at her neighbors. I especially love that the stepstool isn’t nearly tall enough to accomplish this modest task.” –Joe Blevins
“Sigh. Fritz Ann is right: life was much simpler when the internet was just a vast series of tubes and all you had to do to stop the bad guys was clamp off the right one. Or shoot them in the head, that would work too.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“The dogs are obviously upset by Heathcliff’s antics, although it’s not exactly clear why. I assume they’re barking at him on general principle because he’s a cat, the traditional enemy of the dog, and he chose this impractically slow means of transportation specifically to taunt them, but it’s also possible they’re angry at his enslavement of four noble gastropods. Either way, if they cared enough to do something about it you’d think they’d leave their conveniently-labelled ‘dog run,’ since it’s obviously just a short fence that doesn’t enclose them at all.” –Vulpes
“I guess Dithers didn’t need to send Dagwood to Room 101 to get him to admit that 2+2=5. I’m … relieved?”–Victor Von
“Another way of looking at this? Dennis is the cool kid — he gets invited to all the birthday parties! But he only turns up at a third of them, because he needs to keep his weekends free for bothering the Wilsons, insulting Margaret, and hitting baseballs through people’s windows. If he actually comes to your party, it’s a sign that you’re pretty cool, too. He’ll ruin it, of course — but when the $200-per-hour clown ends up face-down in the cake, that’s really only a problem for the parents.” –BigTed
“Damn it, Bumstead! J.C. Dithers & Co isn’t one of the top dozen polluters for no reason. I didn’t pump out all that CO2 for a measly 99 degrees. We’re going for a record!” –Navigator
“Is Ronnie supposed to be eating tortellini? Shrimp? A very small, misshapen croissant? One of Ursula the sea witch’s lipsticks?” –Lauralot
“Judging by panel two, Bernice’s influencer shtick should be ‘the amazing phone levitator.’” –matt w
“Come on Nancy, how could not recognize Bernice’s scorn voice? She uses it around your idiot daughter all the time.” –Scott
“Of course the crack alley is next to the pawn shop, with the sliding door, that still has a doorknob… Are we sure that Tommy isn’t high right now?” –Rosstifer
“This is the face of a plugger who just got contacted on Facebook about a money-making opportunity to bring some ‘perfectly legal’ Adderall pills on her vacation to south-east Asia, and who is about to spend the rest of her life in a Thai prison.” –Schroduck
“Rene Belluso is the Moriarty to Rex’s Sherlock! The Sideshow Bob to Rex’s Bart! The Reeky Rat to Rex’s Slylock Fox! He should be trussed up like Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs and his visitors have to pass multiple layers of security!” –The Quiet Man
“Little does Reno realize that this is the beginning of the backdoor pilot for Beedie, the hardboiled detective drama starring Tommy, where he cleans up the streets one dealer at a time while searching for his missing girlfriend (she’s on vacation again).” –Anonymous
“Martha’s silent prayer: ‘Just a small stroke, Lord. One that affects his speech center.’” –Hibbleton
“I’ll show them in not a junkie. Would a junkie kill his former dealer and steal all his drugs? He would? Well, anyway, thanks for letting me lie low at your apartment for a bit, Mary.” –TheRealAaron
“‘They’ve got World Cup Fever, and are showing terminal symptoms of brain damage! Look at them, batting around hotdogs and hamburgers when there’s a perfectly good soccer ball right there. They’re goners. We have to keep them out of the house to survive!’ ‘Yeah, gotta red card ’em.’ ‘What did you say?’ [cocks gun]” –Voshkod
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