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Real quick: it’s comment of the week time!

“Steve, I accidentally ordered too many birdcages. Try to upsell any customer who comes in to buy bird food. Especially if they bring their bird in with them!” –Weaselboy

And also hilarious runners up time!

“Yes, this is a convoluted set-up, one requiring that Ed and Ralph play a game they’ve never shown any interest in at a community center they’ve never been shown attending and the twins to also be at the same community center they’ve never been shown attending and having nothing better to do either there or elsewhere, but all of that doesn’t matter because the punchline just isn’t that good.” –TheDiva

“Maybe the animal people are just hard of hearing. Even though Ma Barker is loudly complaining about the scam clam to Slylock Fox a mere two feet away, people are still lining up to give away their money.” –Guts Dozier

I know how frustrating that can be. That’s why I switched to ‘Organ Blender’ hollowpoint rounds.” –RogerBW

“New Bird Lady gets all the attention here, but Roz tells a whole story with those bored, sad eyes. This is not the first time she’s met someone who thought they finally killed Shoe. It seems to be a regular occurrence. Now Roz is going to have to help this lady work through her trauma and grief, even though no one in this town tips over 15%.” –Nevin, on Patreon

“I for one hope the Ghost Cat is precisely what their name indicates: the spirit of a normal house cat whose freedom from earthly bonds allows them to achieve hitherto undreamed-of levels of idleness.” –Hergen

“With a lifespan of 50 to 70 years, that parrot will easily outlive Ian, and will probably outlive Toby. And oh, the stories it will have to tell. The boring, tedious stories. Okay, maybe it won’t outlive them thanks to an accident where it flies into a window in a desperate attempt at sweet freedom. –Tabby Lavalamp

“I like the little touches that Chip brings time that outfit, like keeping that tie super loose. He’s not just grandpa, he’s drunk grandpa!” –pugfuggly

“Sincere kudos to the Dennis the Menace artist who kept everything about the art generic 1950s, except for updating the light switch to a touchpad dimmer. A+, way to let us know you’re still in the game, buddy!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“‘Now, when Ozob broke into that auto body shop, did he take anything?’ ‘Well, as you can see from today’s first panel, that’s kind of a gray area!’” –Bob Tice

“We Love Pets is having its annual bone sale! Time to stock up.” –Everything Is Better With Monkeys

“I got it … in normal human speech ‘bald’ often comes out as ‘ball,’ with the d sound buried, as few people really pop that final consonant, and in this context of buying meat near thanksgiving, particularly after the word ‘butter,’ I just assumed he’d actually said ‘butterball.’ The confusion would only arise if he had written his request, but if he actually wrote the word down, you might question his cognitive abilities, or consider his written language might have been affected by a stroke. Anyhow, how many pounds?” –Chance

“Half of Gearhead Gertie strips are ‘The death of Dale Earnhardt was the greatest tragedy in human history’ and the other half are ‘lol fast cars go crash.’ It was only a matter of time before the threads got confusingly crossed.” –Schroduck

“Sarge’s newest recruits are his younger self pulled to the present through the timestream, his evil mirror universe doppelganger, and his illegitimate son.” –ectojazzmage

“Is the county CALLED Nearly, or is this a dig? The Almost State Fair. The Not Quite World’s Fair.” –MKay

“Mary brings a third muffin for Toby’s ‘guest’ but after the big reveal realizes that listening devices alone are not enough. It’s time she installed some cameras in Toby’s apartment.” –Hibbleton

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Dick Tracy, 11/21/25

Look, I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, and I’m not going to say I’m glad that Sheriff Somners plummeted to his death off that cliff. But if the guy saw this horrifying country fair act where “Roacho the Clown” ran around spraying poison onto two weirdos in comically grotesque giant bug costumes and thought to himself, “Now this is the vibe I want at that local charity event,” then I question his judgment, honestly.

Hi and Lois, 11/21/25

Hmm, this seems like good news, so why does Hi look so disappointed by this big reveal? Because Ditto is describing a shift from a violent and primitive mode of production to a more orderly capitalist one, and Hi is familiar enough with the theory of historical materialism to know what comes next: full-on communism.

Mary Worth, 11/21/25

I was gonna do a riff here about Mary suspecting that Toby has taken a lover, but look at her face in that first panel. She’s clearly more like, “Wait, is another person here? Does Toby know someone socially other than me and Ian? Hmm. Hmm. No, sorry, that just doesn’t add up.

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Gearhead Gertie, 11/20/25

Gearhead Gertie’s loved ones are trying to break through her epistemological bubble that only allows her to think about NASCAR nonstop through the power of art. They started simple, with representational paintings; unfortunately, she was quickly able to assimilate that concept into her warped worldview by conflating the signifier and the signified and treating NASCAR-related objects as meriting display. So now they’ve escalated to more abstract pieces. And it’s working! This museum is beginning to rewire Gertie’s damaged psyche, but right now the only way she can process that is by mapping it onto visions of the destruction of her precious race cars. Excited to see if this leads to a breakthrough!

Beetle Bailey, 11/20/25

A thing I learned recently that I really enjoyed is that a lot of heterosexual ’80s metal guys thought that Judas Priest’s Rob Halford, whose stage costumes very much came out of the gay leather daddy subculture, looked cool and badass in a completely straight way and spent the better part of a decade emulating his look. Just thinking about that for no reason as this new recruit, outfitted by the culturally savvy Beetle Bailey team in the a classic “tough guy” outfit, looks positively delighted at the thought of Sarge’s forceful discipline!

Crankshaft, 11/20/25

“Also, it wasn’t really that hard to figure out. He only changed one letter!”