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Luann, 5/11/26

So Luann has a boyfriend named “Phil” now, and sure, the strip has done a certain amount of classic Luann stuff about their relationship where its treatment is simultaneously unrealistically chaste and unpleasantly horny, but I have to admire the fact that they’re setting up a “two people in their early 20s who are dating are thinking about cohabitation” plot and they aren’t immediately getting sexually weird with it. Instead they’re making it about how Luann isn’t a functional adult, which, you know, fair.

Family Circus, 5/11/26

You notice how there’s only one of every animal kind here? Sadly, for disobeying God’s commands, Jeffy and Dolly will be forced to watch Earth’s biodiversity crumble as the last representative of each species grows old and dies. Whatever grotesque future humans descend from this brother-sister pair will have only whatever plants survived the Flood to eat — or, horrifically, each other.

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Judge Parker, 5/10/26

There have been hints in this strip that Judge Parker Senior is slipping away into alcoholism or maybe just dementia, and … look, he’s kind of an asshole, and sure, Katherine seems to be on top of his apparent disappearance as this strip opens, but you have to imagine that she leaves those keys where he can find them even though she shouldn’t, and, well, maybe today’s the day when he’s going to drive into a wall and she’ll be rid of him and, since his kids are themselves both kind of assholes, get that money. It turns out that he was just making a sandwich, though! Oh well.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/10/26

Despite my endless attempts to parse the anachronisms of Hagar the Horrible, I do of course realize that the anachronisms are key to the jokes, like the mix of the modern concept of a “hospital” with our vague ideas of ancient medicine here. Anyway, today’s punchline is whatever but I think “Take those leeches out of here! I’m not a blood buffet!” is very funny! A hearty chuckle was had, by me.

Mary Worth, 5/10/26

“I know many people who are smart, successful, resourced, but because of loneliness, they throw almost everything away for an illusion! Now imagine how loneliness would affect a dumb, poor failure!” [SMASH CUT TO: MEANWHILE, TOMMY BEEDIE WEEPS]

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Barney Google and Snuff Smith, 5/9/26

Snuffy sure looks smug, doesn’t he? He shouldn’t, though: cultivating the favorite food source of your primary prey animal sounds clever, but it represents the first step on the road to agriculture, which leads to more advanced and economically complex societies, which in turn leads to Snuffy having to get a job. Beware!

Pluggers, 5/9/26

Honestly very thankful that they chose a plugger with an emergency-level headache attacking an aspirin bottle with a nail file as the visual here, and not a sweaty, increasingly agitated plugger sitting on the toilet tearing wrapping away from a roll of toilet paper. Bless you, Pluggers, for taking the high road in response to this entry.

B.C., 5/9/26

Tycho Brahe is pretty famous for a 16th century Danish astronomer, which is to say that he’s not very famous at all, and I honestly wonder if there’s anyone out there who knows who he is but doesn’t know that he had a brass prosthetic nose (he lost most of his nose in college in a drunken duel with his cousin over who was a better mathematician, respect). And then how does “people who read B.C.” fit into this Venn diagram? Much to think about.

Pickles, 5/9/26

This week’s Pickles strips have been about how Grandpa Pickles, sick of his wife telling him he’s bad at picking out matching pants and shirts, has gotten really into jumpsuits. This is all fun and games until you can’t get them off fast enough and then piss yourself, apparently.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/9/26

Ha, Lonnie, you thought this freelance paparazzi/blackmail scam would be easy money, huh? Well, what if you have to get involved in some cuck stuff to pull it off, huh? Because it seems like you might have to get involved in some cuck stuff.