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Gil Thorp, 10/1/26

[Between panels two and three] “… and … what’s that? Coach Clover seems to be discussing something with her assistants and … oh my gosh, folks, it appears that Valley Tech is parading the famous Panagia Hodegetria icon of the Theotokos — one of the Virgin Mary’s titles in Eastern Christianity — along the sideline. The Byzantines used to carry this ancient portrait, rumored to have been painted by St. Luke himself, along the walls of Constantinople in times of crisis; it was thought to be lost when the Ottomans conquered the city but it seems it’s right here in the Valley Conference! And Borys Orlov, the Slavic terror who’s been dominating tonight’s game so far, falls to his knees in a show of piety before the blessed relic, allowing Jones to make a clean catch for Valley Tech. Now it’s first and goal! Can VT make this run count?!”

Gearhead Gertie, 10/1/26

Because, Gertie, Dale is dead! He’s been dead and in the ground for more than 25 years! He wouldn’t want you to live like this. He’d want you to move on! There are lots of exciting and charismatic new drivers in NASCAR these days. It’s OK to pick one as your new favorite! It doesn’t dishonor Dale’s legacy!

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Family Circus, 9/30/26

God damn but Gary looks smug here. “That’s right, Mrs. K.! My parents love me, but they don’t love each other … and they’re engaged in a constant but unspoken game of mutual oneupmanship for my affections. The two rooms are just the beginning! I’m really sitting in the catbird seat here! Uh, by which I mean, I see Billy has a lovely home. Just the one, obviously.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/30/26

“We were just taking in the fall colors! Like, uh, green! Green is a color, and it’s fall, so I guess it’s a fall color? I guess it’s fall? What month is it? What year is it? Where am I? Why am I here? Oh, it’s Mud Mountain Murphy! Are you gonna play ‘Muddy Boots?’ I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist that you play ‘Muddy Boots.’”

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Judge Parker, 9/29/26

I haven’t really talked about it much because it’s been super boring, but April and Randy have been having marital problems of the icy silence variety since they got back to Cavelton, maybe because longtime partners sometimes grow apart over time, maybe because Randy had to stand there while April violently killed a guy who wasn’t immediately threatening them right in front of him, who can say. Anyway, due to [gestures vaguely] this whole thing, Charlotte isn’t living with April, and April as mentioned isn’t really spending much time interacting with Randy, and she doesn’t have a “job” as near as I can tell, so I do have to wonder a little bit about why she’s running late here. Maybe she ducked out in the morning just to horribly knife-murder somebody, just to feel something, and it took longer than she expected?

Blondie, 9/29/26

Faithful readers know that Blondie is the most pure uncut boomer mindset comic in the game right now, and I think the list in panel two, which lumps together “ways in which you hold kids in contempt because of their relationship to the phones or whatever” and “ways in which you think rules that kids did not create are proof that kids are wimps,” is a prime example. Also, has it ever been mentioned before that Alexander is on the school football team? I’m not an Athletics Knower necessarily but his physique makes me think that most of his organs are gonna get pulped the very first time he’s tackled, bubble wrap or no.

Mary Worth, 9/29/26

“Could it be … no! Mary would never want to go anywhere fun like Hawaii! Mary only ever wants to go to one restaurant here, in the town where she lives, and it isn’t any good!”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 9/29/26

Big news, everyone: Mother Goose, who has a boyfriend but is still chasing after men, is officially the first non-Archie polyamorous comic strip character! #herstory #representationmatters