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It’s the comment of the week! It’s here!

“Ever notice that Blondie’s chair (the one she’s always doing sudoku puzzles in while facing away from everyone and everything else in the room) is always absent when she’s not sitting in it? Does she always pick it up and take it away with her whenever she gets up? Clearly when she’s not exercising her mind with puzzles, she immediately goes into strength training mode.” –Rover Berkeley

And the very funny runners up!!!!!

“Does Blondie really just do one load of laundry every spring? Is Dagwood wearing horrible food splattered clothes all year, or does he have 365 different tuxedos to wear to the office every day?” –Schroduck

“Is Mud still eating breakfast, or is he just hanging around the motel’s cafe all day? If you were this eager to see a familiar face, Fergus, you could literally just go home and visit your mom.” –Victor Von

“Those towering, windowless walls can’t possibly be their real houses. For their insolence, Dagwood and Herb have been condemned to offer tribute to the Twin Obelisks. Dag pleaded with Blondie for mercy — whenever he stood beneath the Flesh Spire’s looming gaze, the nameless hunger grew greater within him, that void only comically oversized sandwiches could fill. For a time. But Blondie was implacable. ‘Should’ve done the laundry-robics,’ she said, coldly, as Dagwood wailed.” –Navigator

“My new favorite Slylock Fox character is the Cash-Only Shoe-Billed Stork. Fuck off, Max!” –nescio

“Can it really ever be a good day when you apparently live in a liminal hell dimension of featureless grey surfaces stretching off into the horizon?” –ectojazzmage

“They say if you sit under the bodhi tree long enough, you can escape the world of Sargesara.” –But What Do I Know?

“And once again, Beetle Bailey reaches into the Uniform Code of Military Justice as our titular E-1 violates Article 83 (malingering) and continues, against all odds, to violate Article 104a (fraudulent enlistment). Since the Court Martial can’t reduce an E-1 in rank, we can only hope for a long term of imprisonment, a fine, and/or death. And given that the strip started as a college strip, has worn out its welcome as an Army strip, maybe it’s time to switch over to a prison strip. Leavenworth, featuring Beetle Bailey, your time has come.” –Voshkod

“I got it! Sven! You look like you would have been a cool guy sometime around the 1990s, which is extremely current for the funny pages. You probably fuck, right?” –Dan

“Neither ‘Rolex’ nor ‘Rolodex’ is spelled with an ‘a,’ you monsters.” –matt w

“‘What happened with her and her surgery?’ Woah, that’s a HIPAA violation, buddy!” –Ettorre

“Skipping the muffins and going straight to the casserole. Mary ain’t playin’.” –TK

“Mae Mae’s expression makes it clear that Mud will be needing that hand for himself tonight. I hope he can get a good wank with those misshapen fingers.” –Scratchy Scrotum LXIX

“Dagwood’s words say proud! but his face says blah. Meanwhile just offstage, a director is frantically waving his arms, mouthing the words, ‘Sell it! Sell it!’” –Hibbleton

“‘Yes, she must love being an empty nester,’ Hi affirms. A pause. They breathe in the fresh air, relaxed smiles on their faces. ‘…Say, do you think Trixie’s still okay in the house while we’re out here?’ ‘Shhh.’ Hi pats Lois’ hand. ‘Remember the bird’s happy song. Let’s just stay out here a half hour more and … see what happens.’” –Chance

“Pluggers sing with their mouths wide open into the shower stream because they know it’s the only hydration they will get all day that isn’t coffee or alcohol. [Thanks to Tabby Lavalamp, Edmonton, Alberta]” –Tabby Lavalamp

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Hi and Lois, 3/27/26

A thing about Hi and Lois and comic strip time that you really have to keep in mind is that Hi and Lois has been in newspapers with Trixie as one of its characters since 1954, but Hi and Lois just had their youngest child within the last year. She’s a baby! She’s pretty much brand new! That’s why it’s deeply psychotic to see them grinning broadly about how happy their bird friend is about being an empty nester. You just reset that clock! You’re nearly two decades out from singing this cheerful tune! Are you not listening to yourselves?

Pluggers, 3/27/26

Pluggers sing in the shower so their spouse will know they’re OK, and choose lyrics to reaffirm the fact that they’re bisexual and polyamorous. Yeah, that’s right! It’s 2026 now! Pluggers are bi and poly! Get on their level.

Gil Thorp, 3/27/26

I’m willing to follow Gil Thorp to a lot of places, so I would’ve accepted it if the strip had told me that this year’s golf program was going to get mildly interesting. But very interesting? Nope. Not buying it. This is golf we’re talking about, c’mon.

Crankshaft, 3/27/26

I’m sorry if my last Crankshaft post gave you the impression that the title character would be slowly and tragically fading away into senility over the coming months. In fact, he’s going to be very rapidly but still tragically smeared all over the highway in the next few minutes. I regret the error.

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Blondie, 3/26/26

Every once in a while, you get a hint that Alexander is recapitulating many of his father’s most distinctive traits. This makes sense, as the two are obviously genetically identical, and I assume Alexander was created by some sort of asexual budding process. Still, how does Dagwood feel about all this? Well, not great, if his facial expression in the last panel is any indication.

Wizard of Id, 3/26/26

Imagine if you were a second-generation comics creator, gifted with one of the shrinking number of viable newspaper comics out there, but feeling increasingly uninspired and desperate to find some way out of your situation. I’m not saying I know that’s what’s happening with the Wizard of Id, but I am saying that if you were trying to do the comics version of suicide by cop, then inviting a lawsuit from JK Rowling would be a good way to go about it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/26/26

“I’m sick and tired of all this roots country bullshit!” you’re probably saying. “I want to get this strip’s focus back to its roots: contemporary medical issues!” Well, OK, buckle up for “Rex has pivoted his clinic to mostly writing GLP-1 scrips for anyone who asks and then directing them to a dodgy grey-market compounding pharmacy that he gets kickbacks from.”