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Funky Winkerbean, 4/28/12

Quick Funky recap: Those anonymous replies to Cody’s texts weren’t from Summer, they were from his friend, not because his friend was in love with him, but because he too was hot for summer, but then Summer was seen flirting with some jock, the end, OH BUT WAIT, Cody got some more anonymous texts which he’s deleting and which — SHOCKING REVELATION — come from some blonde girl in the background of panel three who I don’t know who she is? Now everyone loves someone who doesn’t love them back, and the cycle of Funkyverse pain is complete. Mostly this story has made me think that it was originally written with anonymous paper notes in mind and then there was a sudden realization that “Oh crap kids use the texting now, right?” and then “notes” became “texting” even though that made everything make little to no sense.

Mark Trail, 4/28/12

So, violence has broken out in Mark Trail, but does anyone else find this a little anticlimactic? Mark doesn’t get off any awkward bon mots or even use his fists, but rather just knocks out Drug Guy #1 with a desultory WHAP to the back of the head. I know, I know, Drug Guy #2 is still out there, waiting to be dealt with in hilarious ways, I should just be patient.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/28/12

The tale of the Sexy Half-Naked Drunken Houseguest is not turning out to be anticlimactic at all, though! I love that Rex and June have their own little code word for “Make sure that lady doesn’t drink all the off-brand liquor we have in the cabinet.”

Apartment 3-G, 4/28/12

“TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW,” Nina’s father orders Tommie. “How can we use your knowledge to get Nina back together with the husband who betrayed her so she can be in an intact marriage when she gives birth to the baby she never wanted? HER HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON IT.”

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Curtis, 4/24/12

Whatever issues I have with Curtis’s repetitive and corny jokes (and I have many issues with them), I’ve always been a fan of the strip’s incidental details. The posters hanging up in Curtis’s room are generally good for a laugh, whether they’re extolling rap as an abstract concept or hot new rap groups like Nuns with Guns. Today we see that Curtis’s genre classifications have gotten more sophisticated (he’s traded in his RAP posted for a HIP-HOP poster), but really what tickles me is that he has a giant, textless picture of a triple-decker hamburger hanging on his wall. It’s the sort of thing Dagwood Bumstead would own, if he had any authority over his home’s decor.

Apartment 3-G, 4/24/12

If anyone wonders why I always think Margo is the best: This is why Margo is the best! Most of us, if caught drunkenly making out with a pregnant friend’s spouse, would at least offer some kind of half-assed apology. But that’s not Margo’s style. Margo’s style is boozily slurring “No … you’re out of line!” at her friend instead.

Pluggers, 4/24/12

Elitist Neapolitan ice cream reminds pluggers of the two things they hate the most: immigrants and race-mixing.

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Mary Worth, 4/23/12

Oh, I’m sorry, were you expecting there to be some more dramatic meat to the “Nola reforms” storyline, or at least maybe the reappearance of that comically weepy televangelist? Well, tough! Having squared all that business away, Mary is going to jet off to New York City without so much as a pool party. Who needs some lame California soirée when there’s a hip New York City get-together you’ve been invited to, probably in some converted loft space on the Lower East Side, am I right?

I’m actually pretty sure that this will be the first time I’ve ever seen Mary leave Santa Royale, other than when she flew to Vietnam to rescue Dr. Jeff from the charity work he loved so much. Obviously Jeff doesn’t get invited on fun trips, though we should maybe question whether Mary is going to have as much fun as she thinks she will. Since she was unable to handle the raw urban horror of downtown Santa Royale and its hellish Women’s Shelter, I imagine she’ll find even New York’s most upscale neighborhoods utterly terrifying.

Apartment 3-G, 4/23/12

Because you know what happens in New York? Rampant adultery, that’s what! I mean, if you consider mashing your faces together drunkenly and saying “KISS” really loudly to be adultery, which I’m assuming Mary does. Anyway, this kissing business is clearly Margo’s worst bad idea yet — not because Margo is somehow morally opposed to stealing men away from their hugely pregnant wives or anything, but because Scott is a whiny little feeb not worthy of her attentions and Nina is a badass who can strangle people with her mind.