Post Content

Apartment 3-G, 6/7/10

Ha ha, did you think that Ari was talking to his pill-popping love Bobbie, who he just weeks ago bundled off to some private upstate nuthouse? Don’t be silly; obviously he would recognize her voice on the phone, and surely no facility that specializes in making the problematic relations of rich people conveniently go away would allow its patients any method of communication with the outside world. No, I think we have to assume that the Professor has been sending out thousands of emails that begin with “Dear One: Do you want h1gh-quality prescription MEDZ, cheap?” and has finally managed to snag a customer.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/7/10

We’ve already established that Herb’s marriage fills him with nothing but dread, so it’s probably to be expected that Herb will plunge his living room into total darkness not so that he can get amorous with his wife, but so that he doesn’t have to see her.

Marmaduke, 6/7/10

A “face-off” with Marmaduke generally ends with somebody getting his or her face bitten off.

Oh, and hey, you know what? If Mark Trail is going to keep showing us day after day of Rusty face-horror, then I fully intend to keep sharing it with you, at full magnification:

Panel from Mark Trail, 6/7/10

Rusty’s eyes, having once shone with a terrifying inky dark light, have now shriveled down to tiny pits, and his cheeks have grown hollow with grief. He pretty much looks like the guy from “The Scream,” after he’s stopped screaming.

Post Content

Apartment 3-G, 6/3/10

I’m assuming that Martin and Gabriella are sneaking into 3-G to find and dispose of Roberta’s Chekovian gun, but wouldn’t it be great if Martin has lost all of his money in the recession and the two have been forced to launch a spree of actual breaking and entry? They start with Margo’s apartment — that’s a gimmie, since she gave them a key and all — and then they’ll work their way up to homes where they actually have to break the locks, bickering comically all the while!

Spider-Man, 6/3/10

Some time ago I berated the newspaper Spider-Man strip for just giving up and embracing camp. Now I long for the days when at least I’d have campiness to entertain me. This most recent plot development, in which Sabretooth and Wolverine battle each other endlessly until simultaneously passing out from exhaustion, while Spidey scratches his head like a moron and cracks wise, is some sub-Three Stooges shit.

B.C., 6/3/10

Hey, remember three days ago, when B.C. made a joke with exactly this structure? It was 10 years out of date, but at least you knew what the hell it was supposed to be about. With this one, I’m not sure if we’re supposed to understand that capitalism is a dagger thrust through the heart of humanity, or if it harnesses the opposed forces of love and hate to work together, or what, exactly. I do know, from looking at the two strips next to each other, that no art has been reused; the two identical-looking scenes have been completely redrawn. You have to admire the dedication that shows, I suppose, but I can’t say that the baffling jokes merit the extra work.

Post Content

B.C., 5/31/10

With Johnny Hart’s grandson Mason Mastroianni firmly at the helm of the strip, at long last it can shake off its lassitude and take principled stands on current issues. For instance, there’s a major energy company whose sins of omission and commission have angered millions of Americans of late, and that company is … Enron? Eh, sure, why not. Logo’s sure easier to draw, right?

Apartment 3-G, 5/31/10

At least one employee of the Mills Gallery has the appropriate attitude for working there (i.e., constant, debilitating mortal terror). “NO, DON’T TALK TOO LOUDLY! SHE CAN HEAR US! SHE CAN ALWAYS HEAR US!”

Family Circus, 5/31/10

Ha ha! It’s another adorable malapropism from little Jeffy! Clearly the word he meant to use is “unemployable.”