Archive: Baldo

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Ziggy, 4/8/10

Man, I can’t even pretend that I know what the hell Ziggy is talking about here (the way I pretended with yesterday’s Family Circus — it was about Easter eggs, apparently? Ha ha, people eat Easter eggs! Who knew!). As I usually do when I’m confronted with a slang term that I don’t understand and I want a repulsive definition for it that was fabricated by 14-year-olds, I consulted Urban Dictionary. The first definition given there — “the word used to replace ‘share’ in a request to do so with someone” — can’t be right, as Ziggy is a loser with nothing to share with anybody; he even seems to have once again misplaced his recently rediscovered pants! Thus, we’re left with definitions two (“Defecation. Derived from the term number two.”) and three (“Spar’s strong white cider, sold in bottles of 2 litres, originally for 2 pounds, hence the nickname twosies, often abbreviated in writing to ‘zz.'”). These are both strong possibilities, actually; Ziggy’s facial expression, with undereye bags and a crooked half-smile, could be taken as indicating that he’s shat himself, or that he’s drunk in public in the middle of the day on some British cider drink, or that he’s shat himself in public in the middle of the day after getting drunk on some British cider drink.

Gil Thorp, 4/8/10

You know what would actually be pretty great? If, just as Derek “Slim” Chance has discovered that being a teenage alt-country singer in a Central City bar is about a bazillion times cooler than being a pitcher for the Milford Mudlarks, the Gil Thorp comic strip would realize that, just for a few months, following the adventures of non-athletes might be a bazillion times more interesting than watching yet another team of dim jocks try and fail to make the playdowns. Since it’s been widely acknowledged that the last spectacularly awesome Gil Thorp storyline came three summers ago when Kaz punched his way into Gail Martin’s entourage, the reconnection of our be-mulleted hunk with the world of music can’t in any way be a bad thing.

Boding particularly well is Slim’s rhinestone-encrusted, dice-festooned outfit. I know that’s supposed to be cowboy-style fringe hanging off his sleeve in panel one, bit it looks like his arm is just leaving a trail of pure light behind it as it moves, indicating that Slim is truly a magical, transcendent figure, or that Kaz’s acid is finally kicking in.

Apartment 3-G, 4/8/10

I just want to pause briefly in the midst of all this awesomeness (Ha ha, “She won’t dare shoot me!” And look at Margo’s face in the second panel! “Hey, lady, only I get to insult and belittle my father!”) to contemplate the word “stepmother” for a moment. Is this really the right term for the relationship between Margo and Bobbie? I mean, yes, technically Bobbie is a woman who is not Margo’s mother but is married to her father, at least until state of New York or that illegally purchased firearm dissolves that union. But generally the word is reserved for a woman your father marries sometime after you were born and his relationship with your mother dissolves, and not, say, the woman your father was married to when he knocked up the maid, and who raised you as her own, hating you and him and herself all the while. I have no idea what the correct term would be, though, and I’m open to suggestions.

Baldo, 4/8/10

Ooh, Tia Carmen and her supermarket romancer, who normally only interact in soap opera strip art form, are going on a real date! We’ve been shown that he’s apparently gone nuts and bought a wedding ring already, but he may be reconsidering that decision now that she’s shown up for dinner dressed as Cruella de Vil.

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Slylock Fox, 11/13/09

Some readers have claimed that in my past commentaries I have unjustly slandered the reputation of the noble raccoon, and perhaps this is true! But I am certainly not alone in fomenting negative media images of these clever creatures. Check out this masked fellow, tightly gripping onto his “lunch,” a wide-eyed still-living fish gasping for oxygen in the terrible waterless realm outside his home pond. “For the love of God,” it begs with its eyes, “put me out of my misery! This is agony!” But the raccoon just grins mischievously. “Oh, this? Yeah, I scooped this fish out the lake. I’ll probably eat him, eventually, but I thought I’d just carry him around for a while and let him thrash first. So, what have you been up to?”

Baldo, 11/13/09

Oh, look, it’s comics crossover fun in Baldo! This strip is actually surprisingly realistic: most crossover strips show comics characters laughing it up at some big party, but if you think about it, if you saw a group of fictional characters, all with wildly differing proportions and basic bodily structures, you too would react by staring at them in silent, wide-eyed horror, as everyone in the third panel appears to be doing.

Mary Worth, 11/13/09

“My advice? Oh, Adrian, dear, you know I don’t like to use that word! It implies that you have the option not to obey me. I prefer the term ‘unbreakable divine command.'”

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Pearls Before Swine, 8/12/09

Hello, anonymous rude denizens of the Internet! You have driven Stephan Pastis into his Internet Happy Box, so I hope you’re satisfied with yourselves. Actually, when people started emailing me about this strip this morning, I had a weird moment of déjà vu, as I thought this had run months ago. In fact, Stephan e-mailed it to me when he drew it, but that was back in April thanks to the high-tech distribution system that underlies the newspaper comics industry. Anyway, at the time I promised to rip him a new one when this came out, except he hasn’t been doing any of the terrible pun strips lately. SO UNTIL NEXT TIME PASTIS. You stay in that box just to be safe, though.

Baldo, 8/12/09

I went to college at Cornell, which is in the absolutely lovely (some might even say “gorges” HA IT’S A PUN GET IT) city of Ithaca, New York, which, despite being lovely, does not have much going for it in the way of malls. When you grow up going to Cheektowaga’s fabulous Walden Galleria, it’s a bit of a letdown doing all your enclosed chain-store shopping and food-court dining at the Pyramid Mall. This establishment appears to have since changed its name to “The Shops At Ithaca Mall,” which I find extremely amusing — oh, there are shops at the mall, you say? Anyway, I always used to mock the Pyramid Mall’s smallness by referring to it as the “Petite Mall”; I thought this was hilarious and everyone else was either more or less indifferent about it or thought it was actively offensive to people who have seizures. This is a roundabout way of saying that, why yes, I do feel validated by having essentially the same joke used in a Baldo strip 15 years later, thanks for asking!

I originally felt like there might be only about fifty-fifty chance that my terrible seizure joke was in fact the intended reading of this strip, but then I realized that there was no other obvious humor content here, so I figure that has to be what’s happening.

Hi and Lois, 8/12/09

It has not escaped my notice that quite a few of the recent Trixie-centered Hi and Lois strips have featured the pre-verbal infant girl wandering around outside apparently unattended. Maybe her parents are hoping that she’ll be adopted by a local wolfpack or some other band of animals and they’ll be relieved of responsibility for her; unfortunately, they hadn’t counted on the effectiveness with which the builders of their suburban subdivision cleared it of most wildlife. Trixie’s only option is to take up with a colony of frogs, which will go fine until she hits puberty and heads to the culvert under the arterial road with amplexus on her mind, only to be bitterly disappointed.

Hagar the Horrible, 8/12/09

Ha ha! He finds his wife’s mother so irritating that he’s going to hand her over to savages who will use her as a slave or a sacrifice to their pagan gods! MOTHERS IN LAW, am I right, people?