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Gil Thorp, 5/21/15

Oh, hey, what’s going in baseball season in Gil Thorp? Well, it seems that football superstar/baseball dilettante True Standish was goofing around during a Mudlark loss, because football is a serious sport for real men and baseball is silly game you play when it’s nice out so why bother taking it seriously, enraging actual baseball player Max Ortiz. This is an interesting variation on the typical Gil Thorp storyline, which usually involves players all too intensely dedicated to their sport of choice, but at least we have one comforting narrative element to grasp on to: Coaches Thorp and Kaz remaining roughly twenty feet away from any brewing conflict and deciding to “let the guys police themselves.”

Family Circus, 5/21/15

Ma Keane’s biggest dream was that her kids might become slightly less moronically literal-minded once they learned to read. Today, that hope has been tragically dashed.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/21/15

Aww, how romantic! Grampy and Granny are going to spend their anniversary shitting!

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Family Circus, 5/17/15

That’s actually a fairly accurate visualization of the new Orion space capsule, Jeffy! I guess all that promotion NASA did on Sesame Street was money well spent. PJ, meanwhile, has the true mind of a child here: a child who has no control over what he eats and has to choke down whatever his parents put in front of him, and who dreams of revenge.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/17/15

Hootin’ Holler may be cut off from the benefits of modern society, such as electricity and running water, but is also insulated from some 21st century ills. “Of course thar’s a lot of news in the newspaper! That’s how it works!!” exclaims Snuffy, blissfully unaware of USA Today, network morning TV news shows, and BuzzFeed listicles.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/9/15

Say what you will about our man Snuffy’s book learnin’, moral fiber, or long-term planning skills, but you have to admire him as a savvy realist. For instance, he’s well aware of the dysfunctional nature of the polity he lives in. He watched those fancy flatlander politicians from the state government cut the ribbon on the project that finally brought plumbing to Hootin’ Holler and thought, “Who’s gonna maintain them pipes? Folks around here? The guv’ner? The revenooers? Don’t want none for my shack, no thanks.”

Gil Thorp, 5/9/15

Looks like True’s awkward flirting is going great! “Why, yes, I have read one of the most beloved novels of the 20th century, one assigned to millions of high school students in their English classes! Mmmm, smell this hamburger, it smells like smug literacy.”

Heathcliff, 5/9/15

Never mind why Heathcliff’s owner-grandma seems scandalized by cats who aren’t wearing clothes: what’s Heathcliff’s owner-grandpa holding in his hand? Are those … calipers? Going to be working real hard at not thinking about the intersection between cat nudism and calipers for the next couple of days, thanks.