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Apartment 3-G, 6/1/11

When Scarlett O’Hara wistfully announced that “tomorrow is another day,” the great love of her life had just walked out on her, and she was trying to figure out how she would win him back. When Tommie says it, it’s because she failed to deliver a CD to her aunt. She could probably try to just slip it through the mail slot, but then what would she do for excitement tomorrow?

Judge Parker, 6/1/11

Oh, hey, have you been wondering how Judge Parker Emeritus’s attempts to talk a defense contractrix out of suicide are going? Apparently he’s decided that the best way to get her to step back from the ledge is to describe how empty and meaningless his own life is. He’s thinking outside the box!

Luann, 6/1/11

I’ve never been an exchange student, but I’m reasonably sure that they know pretty far in advance when they’re going to return to their home country. Do Australians do things differently? Does the government in Canberra have the right to call young men home for national service at a moment’s notice, for emergency shrimp-on-the-barbie placement or something?

Beetle Bailey, 6/1/11

“Are you ticklish?”

“No.”

“Would you be unsettled if my head started spinning around on my neck like the demon-girl from the Exorcist?“

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Marmaduke, 5/25/11

Longstanding readers of this blog know my feelings about geese (and their elitist cousins, swans): they are vile, vicious creatures who would destroy us all if they could. And seeing as today’s strip proves that they’re more powerful than Marmaduke, and we already know that Marmaduke is more powerful than God, humanity pretty much has no chance.

Beetle Bailey, 5/25/11

Look, I don’t know how often we have to explain it: Sarge is not interested in women, sexually. But he does have outdated opinions about gender roles! The two facts aren’t mutually exclusive.

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Beetle Bailey, 5/24/11

I realize that making fun of Beetle Bailey for being lazy is in and of itself lazy at this point, but come on, would it have killed one of the no doubt half-dozen people who had a hand in the production of this panel to have created an even remotely plausible scenario in which Sarge would reach for a donut and then fall off a cliff? Maybe they could have, I don’t know, depicted the donut in some way? Suspended from a string just over the ledge as part of an elaborate trap set by Beetle? A hallucination of the poor food-addicted sergeant? Just in a box, lying on the ground? Help me out here.

Six Chix, 5/24/11/

I guess the joke is supposed to be on the prying old lady, but her sly smile in panel one indicates that she’s not even remotely scandalized by her neighbor’s response. “Well, in my day we liked to keep things within the confines of marriage, but the most important thing is that you’re experiencing erotic pleasure with your favorite man on a regular basis. You go with your bad self, young lady! It’s lucky that we have so much space between our houses, so we can be as vocal as we want in the throes of orgasm and not worry about bothering each other!” She’d probably be disappointed to learn that the younger woman is just using her coffee maker as some kind of makeshift sex toy.