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Here’s something genuinely nice the comics are doing on Thanksgiving: auctioning off original comic strips to benefit those affected by this year’s brutal hurricane season. You know it’s legit because it’s being run by Heritage Auctions, who recently did a similar auction to benefit Lisa’s Legacy Fund! Anyway, what artistic gems from today’s funny pages can you bid on?

Beetle Bailey, 11/23/17

Well, you can help those suffering from want by purchasing a strip reminding you that some people have such a surfeit of resources that they’re literally drowning each other in food out of spite.

Dennis the Menace, 11/23/17

Or you can remind them that, as bad as things get, they don’t live in a world of mingled ignorance and anxiety that has them convinced that they’re about to eat a beloved icon from their childhood!

Blondie, 11/23/17

If you really want to take their minds off their troubles, celebrate their perseverance with this image of Dagwood as a nightmarish three-headed sleep-Cerberus, in a surrealistic image that only draws further attention to his weird neck situation by tripling his number of necks.

Mary Worth, 11/23/17

You know what no amount of tax-deductible charitable donations can buy, though? This amazing work of art, apparently, in which Wilbur screams, silently, but with his mouth gaping open, at … something in Pedro’s oficina. What could it be? Is it Fabiana and her “cousin” Pedro locked in a passionate embrace? Is it Fabiana and her “cousin” Pedro monitoring the eBay auctions they’ve set up for the emerald ring Wilbur bought Fabiana and also Wilbur’s kidneys? Is it a huge motivational poster announcing that “WE’RE SALSA DANCERS, NOT MAYONNAISE DANCERS: NO SANDWICHES ALLOWED ON PREMISES”? Tune in tomorrow to find out!

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Blondie, 11/18/17

OH GOOD LET’S JUST CONTINUE WITH BLONDIE’S FOOD-HORROR SHALL WE? In today’s installment, the true nightmare happens just off-panel: the announcement of the bacon shortage comes from “Percy Pigmann,” who begins his report on the issue by oinking. Percy is, I think it goes without saying, a sapient pig, here to tell the world that his kind will no longer be killed and butchered for their flesh. That all’s very idealistic and inspiring, Percy, but watch out: Dagwood is saying the right things about this positive social change, but his hair indicates that he’s still livid about this shift in the prevailing power hierarchy. Like all civil rights advances, this one will be met with a backlash.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/18/17

Loweezy and Elviney are just passing the time imagining that blessed future day when both their husbands are dead.

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Blondie, 11/17/17

Hey, guys, there’s less than a week left until Thanksgiving, so let’s really take a deep analytical dive into Dagwood’s nightmarish turkey fursona! What do you find most unsetting about it? For me, it’s the beak mask, which appears to include a built-in grill of “turkey teeth” in a permanent rictus grin that really drives home the bird-man’s nature as a nightmare chimera-thing, although I suppose that could just be a mouth slot so that Dagwood can feed himself without ever removing any part of his costume. But let’s not sleep on some of the other awful things here, like the fact that the costume’s gloves are designed to make his fingers look like feathers, implying that each of his wings might be covered with dozens of prehensile digits. And, of course, he’s topped the whole thing off with a pilgrim hat, letting the world know that on this, his most beloved holiday, he wants nothing more than to somehow become both the devourer and the devoured, simultaneously experiencing all aspects of this orgiastic rite of consumption.

Six Chix, 11/17/17

Anyway, after all that, the feeder-fetish fan service in today’s Six Chix seems positively wholesome!