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Judge Parker, 3/30/13

Judge Parker storylines are generally months long and unpredictably aimless, but I have to say that I’m surprised at how quickly “Judge Parker Junior’s elopement doesn’t go as planned” has morphed into “Judge Parker Senior is looking for a way out of his loveless second marriage.”

Blondie, 3/30/31

On a possibly related note, the Bumsteads are pretty much done with each other sexually, as are the Woodleys.

Mark Trail, 3/30/31

Later: “Mark, did you have a chance to get rid of Rusty forever and screw it up? I do not like hearing about this!”

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Spider-Man, 3/15/13

Great things are happening over at Kingpin Laboratories! Under the inspiring guidance of the company CEO, Kingpin researchers are producing breathtaking innovations in neuroscience — with potentially profitable real-world implications! Meanwhile, across town, a freelance photographer manages, with some effort, to remember the name of a lawyer.

Blondie, 3/15/13

So it turns out that Dagwood’s inability to understand basic finance is just a symptom of his retreat into magical thinking when confronted with scarcity of any sort.

Ziggy, 3/15/13

Scram, Ziggy! Rats want to use your house for fucking!

Apartment 3-G, 3/15/13

Wow, darkness is falling on the city … pretty abruptly there, huh? I mean, in panel one it looks to be about mid-afternoon and then Margo expresses affection for another human and then an inky eternal shadow descends over new york, there is no escape and it is so so cold

Family Circus, 3/15/13

“All this suburban bourgeois bullshit that you think is important? It’s like you’re smothering my soul with a pillow! Just thought I’d let you know.”

Wizard of Id, 3/15/13

Ha ha, it’s funny because the dragon likes to eat his own poop!

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Blondie, 3/11/13

Easiest way to distract Dagwood from all the terrible news you’re about to give him about his financial condition: Metaphors! Lots of colorful, confusing metaphors!

Herb and Jamaal, 3/11/13

Ha ha, it’s funny because Jamaal used to have sex with lots of different women, but now he has trouble pooping.

Hi and Lois, 3/11/13

I’m pretty sure this is the first time we’ve ever seen Chip’s eyes? They’re terrifying.