Archive: Blondie

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Blondie, 5/24/21

Ha ha, the kids today! Always getting on the online and becoming millionaires! It’s almost unfair! Used to be you could get rich doing a syndicated newspaper comic strip and making people laugh all over the country! But not anymore! Now you gotta show your naked ass on SnapFans if you want anyone to take you seriously! Is that what you want, America? You want to see the naked ass of the creator of a syndicated newspaper comic strip? Because we’ll do it! We’ll show that ass! And then you can go to hell! You can go straight to hell! Fuckin’ teenagers!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/24/21

“Wow, a man so beloved that he no longer has to deal with his well-wishers as individuals, but can rather bathe in their adulation in the aggregate while his assistants take on the grunt work of actually interacting with other humans? Must be nice. Must be real nice.”

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Marvin, 5/16/21

I was going to go on a real sarcastic riff here about how great it was that comics were a rich, visual medium so that we could get literally seven near-identical frames of Marvin reacting to something happening that we can’t see. But then I realized: do you actually want to see two boring middle aged people arguing about the purchase of a smart speaker (brand unspecified)? That honestly doesn’t sound interesting at all, and while seven near-identical drawings of Marvin aren’t more interesting, at least I feel confident that no energy was needlessly wasted in their creation.

Blondie, 5/16/21

Guys, do you ever think Dagwood might have a serious problem? Like, he didn’t so much fall asleep as violently pitch forward out of his chair. Did he have a stroke or what?

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Dennis the Menace, 4/30/21

I spent way too long trying to parse Henry and Alice’s facial expressions and how they line up with Dennis’s tattletale claim to the bored and irritated cater-waiter. They both seem to be having a good time looking at art! Are they thinking, “Gosh, we didn’t come for the art but we are enjoying ourselves. The Municipal Art Museum audience development team really knows what it’s doing when it runs these free-to-the-public art-and-wine nights!” Or is it more, “Ha ha, this art is shit but we’re on wine glass number four and have gotten blotto on the dime of the Municipal Art Museum’s corporate sponsors. Can’t wait to drive home!”

Blondie, 4/30/21

One odd result of comic book time is that Dagwood is canonically a guy in his late 30s or early 40s who’s probably been in his job in his own internal timeline for five years or so, and maybe even took the job as a stepping stone to other things, whereas those of us in the real world know that he’s been DithersCo’s office manager since before we were born and will continue to be long after we’re dead and in the ground. Thinking of things in those terms brings an interesting perspective to Blondie’s frankly horrified face in the final panel, as she realizes that Stockholm Syndrome is setting in and maybe her husband really is going to be working for that awful man indefinitely.