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Crock, 2/7/22

Wow, first there’s a good joke in Crock, and now there’s a Crock that does a decent job of showing the mania of self-delusion that overcomes a colonial power when it’s on the verge of realizing it cannot win a war of occupation? What’s next, a second good joke?

Mary Worth, 2/7/22

Wilbur was in remarkably good spirits when his ex got married, but I have to imagine his other ex finding new romance is going to push him over the edge, right? Like he’s got to know this is happening, somehow, either he’s sitting alone at home and suddenly his combover stood straight up on end, or he’s just been watching from the bushes this whole time.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/7/22

“I tried t’ tell her: No outsider is going to come to this impoverished and economically isolated community! She’s going t’ hafta marry a cousin or leave her home forever, same choice as the rest of us face.”

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Crock, 2/4/23

My attitude towards most of the comics on this site range from “I make fun of this because I love it” to “I make fun of this but I grudgingly respect its history and craft” to “I make fun of this because I love it ironically, which over the years has become increasingly impossible to distinguish from just loving something the normal way,” but there are a few that I genuinely dislike and think are bad, and I don’t think it’ll come as a big surprise to anyone that Crock is one of them. That’s why, in the interests of intellectual honestly, I feel compelled to confess that I think this is a really good joke.

Hi and Lois, 2/4/23

I can’t tell if Lois’s facial expression in panel two is meant to indicate that she just didn’t want to look at a little white spot up by the ceiling for the next five years and didn’t think Hi would take it so personally, or if she’s thinking “Wait, Hi thinks Michelangelo had a wife? Oh, you sweet summer child.”

Crankshaft, 2/4/23

“Back when I was a high school band director … it seemed like we were always in a strip called Funky Winkerbean. And now that I’m a choir director for St. Spires … we’re always in a strip called Crankshaft, which presumably had its own characters and plotlines that its readers enjoyed at some point.” “The more things change…” “Amen!”

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Judge Parker, 1/30/23

JUDGE PARKER PLOT RECAP SPEEDRUN: The Spencer-Drivers were all gathered at Abby’s compound contemplating their next move vis-a-vis the whole “crooked cops and meth dealers are after them” business, when a drunken Detective Yelich went and kidnapped the traumatized son of Judge Meth who’s the only witness to his family’s murder, in an attempt to lure Judge Meth to the compound, except it turns out that’s exactly what Judge Meth wanted, and so he’s here now holding Sophie at gunpoint, and now suddenly the traumatized son is slightly less catatonic. Sure would be funny if the initial thought that the son was the murderer was correct, and he resolves this whole dilemma neatly by killing his father. Turns out he just loves murdering his family members! He just can’t get enough of it!

Six Chix, 1/30/23

Imagine if you lived in a universe where everything — your house, your food, the landscape around you — was made up of the exact same material as your flesh. What would “homemade” mean in that scenario? It sure would be [lowers sunglasses like David Caruso on CSI: Miami] chilling.

Gil Thorp, 1/30/23

“Look at the beautiful flag flying in the breeze, Dr. Pearl. I tell you what, there’s nothing more American that forcing students to engage in feats of physical strength for the amusement of others in order to fund extra-curricular activities that could’ve been paid for by the district’s budget if the town hadn’t voted down the last four school bond issues.”

Crock, 1/30/23

Between this strip and the one from a couple weeks ago about iPods, you have to imagine that the Crock creative team spent the turn of the century terrified that the rising generation would focus so much attention on their devices that they wouldn’t care if they killed themselves or someone else in the process. And in a sense, didn’t they turn out to be right? Well, no, but it’s fun to think about Crock saying “eenternet ‘ookup” in a cartoonish French accent, so I’ll allow it.