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Gil Thorp, 8/12/17

“Or maybe I’ve got that backward! Maybe, I wish basketball … coached her!” Or … right? Not sure what that means, and I’m also hoping pretty hard that it doesn’t mean that Jaquan has taken a liking to Heather, what with him being like 31 and her being in high school and all.

Panel two is yet another egregious colorist error, what with Trey being assigned Jaquan’s skin and jacket color in panel two despite the fact that he literally says Jaquan’s name in his dialogue. Then again, Jaquan’s right eye is also being swallowed up by his skintone in the final panel. Perhaps the very nature of the reality of the Thorpiverse is glitching, and everyone is about to find themselves swallowed up in sea of pleasing burnt umber.

Crock, 8/12/17

Hey, kids, don’t give up if the mysteries you submit to Slylock Fox get rejected! They can still use them in Crock, apparently?

Hi and Lois, 8/12/17

Like many teenage boys, Chip has little by way of sexual experience or skills, and his partners rarely achieve orgasm during their encounters.

Six Chix, 8/12/17

Today’s lesson from Six Chix: little kids are assholes!

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Crock, 7/13/17

For whatever reason Crock has spent a surprising amount of time of late following the unlikely bond between Otis, a human boy, and Wadsworth, a bird that eats rotting flesh. Today, though, we learn the limits of trans-species friendship. Amongst his own kind, Wadsworth would no doubt say, “Wait, Crock feeds his men food that’s already begun to decay, making it perfectly suited for my species’ uniquely evolved digestive tract? Well sign me the heck up! I like eating putrid meat! When we go into combat and massacre our enemies, leaving their bloated corpses on the desert battlefield, that’ll just be another great opportunity for met to feed!” But he knows this is a delicate topic amongst humans, and so he becomes self-conscious about sharing his thoughts with his friend.

Beetle Bailey, 7/13/17

Say what you will about General Halftrack’s increasingly obvious mental impairments, but at least he knows that it’s better to plot a coup during ostensible recreation hours rather than at his actual HQ.

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Crock, 7/7/17

If you’re interested in a comic strip with jokes about working in a diner and navel rings, written by someone who only has a passing familiarity with how restaurant staffing, salad preparation, and navel rings work, then today’s Crock is for you, my friend!

Dennis the Menace, 7/7/17

Nice to see that the Mitchells are continuing to enjoy their psychosexual beach vacation!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/7/17

Welp, looks like Rex Morgan has wrapped up its thrilling “some teens are gay!” adventure and is ready to embark on a brand new thrilling “the Internet is a great way to reconnect with long-lost friends!” adventure.