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Crock, 11/8/22

As America’s #1 syndicated newspaper comic strip blogger, I probably have a better handle on the internal lore of many of the strips than their actual creators do. I’m not mad about this, it’s actually funny to me, but it does mean I’m compelled to point out that (a) Grossie and Maggot live in a tent, so it’s strange to think they have indoor plumbing complete with ceramic fixtures, and (b) Maggot’s job in the Foreign Legion is digging latrine pits, so it’s sad that this issue has become another source of conflict for them rather than something they can bond over.

Mary Worth, 11/8/22

OK, it turns out that Zak almost falling to his death did prompt Iris to change her mind about marriage, but not because she was faced with the awful realization of what life without him would be like and decided that she wanted to fully commit herself to their relationship. Nope, it was because the incident in which they worked together to save his life after he did something extremely stupid showed what a great team they were, and why shouldn’t those teammates get the tax advantages they have coming to them?

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Crock, 10/16/22

I’ve been reading Crock for … let’s just say “many” years now, so I am of course well familiar with all of its terrible running gags, one of which is that Crock’s mother (never actually seen in the strip) is in a nursing home somewhere and she’s very, very mean, even meaner than her cruel son. But in all that time, I always assumed (quite reasonably, I think) that the nursing home she was in was back in France. Algeria is a colony under military occupation, which is the very reason Crock and the Legion are there in the first place! It’s no place for old French civilian ladies! But no, it turns out that she’s been in the Maghreb all along, which really raises a lot of questions about (a) whether the creative minds behind Crock ever really had a handle on the geopolitics behind Beau Geste or if they just liked the aesthetic, and (b) why Crock never visits his mother if she’s actually so close.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/16/22

Ha ha, wow, looks like Hank Jr.’s impulsive marriage really was meant to be. They’re both fans of roots country legend Truck Taylor! Who could’ve guessed? Not Hank Sr., he’s not going to the concert because he clearly hates that shit, but he’s making nice to keep the pancakes coming.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 10/16/22

No real notes here, just want to say that I am in love with Koppy’s sarcastic greeting here. They might not have invented a Bill of Rights for animals yet, but nothing can stop Koppy from firing off the subtle yet sick burns! Except getting punched in the mouth by Slylock, probably.

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Crock, 9/22/22

I know in my heart that this strip is 10-15 years old and started off with just “commercial” in the punchline but then at the last minute the writer realized “Wait, what are commercials on the internet called? Pop-up ads?” But I’d like to believe that the leader of the Lost Patrol here truly had a transcendent moment where his soul communed directly with the Divine, an experience he can only use imperfect human language to describe to his men. Was it like watching something on television, or maybe looking at something on the computer? Well, a little of both, but so much more. (Also, there was advertising.)

Blondie, 9/22/22

I make a lot of jokes on this blog along the lines of “Why does Dagwood hang out so much with Elmo, an 8-year-old child that he’s not related to?”, but the answer is pretty simple: there’s a lot of things he can only share with Elmo, things he can’t even talk to his wife about. Not sure why anyone would have a problem with that!

Funky Winkerbean, 9/22/22

OK, now I’m sorry I ever made fun of this strip for relenting on the darkness, please, it’s only Thursday, I don’t want to see this guy jerking off to those corpse pics in the Sunday strip, let’s ratchet back, let’s ratchet back