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What guidance do our syndicated newspaper comics have on this, the most sacred of mid-term election days in the United States?

Beetle Bailey, 11/6/18

Beetle Bailey urges you to vote for candidates who aren’t afraid to stand up to the bloated, wasteful military-industrial complex!

Curtis, 11/6/18

Curtis takes a very strong stance against all the do-nothing zookeepers in this country. Is your local zookeeper getting rich off his government salary while man-eating lions roam the streets? Vote the bums out!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/6/18

Snuffy, meanwhile, has the best of both worlds: he gets to cast his ballot to have his say on land politics, but then retreat to his nautical fortress, where he’s only under the jurisdiction of maritime law. Remember, Snuffy can only be tried in a court where there’s a gold fringe around the flag!

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Curtis, 7/10/18

Curtis and Barry discover Michelle’s camgirl site with Zoom stuck at 400%.

Between Friends, 7/10/18

Obsessive neurotic Susan has vague memories of her former life.

Funky Winkerbean, 7/10/18

NARRATOR VOICE: “Their book was never nominated.”

Also, dearie, it’s called a “spit take,” not a “nod take” — you sip the coffee first; you don’t stick your damn nose in it. Any self-respecting Eisner nominee would know this.

Judge Parker, 7/10/18

Abbey has willed a gallows into existence in Sam’s office. Tread lightly, Sam!

Mary Worth, 7/10/18

Tommy has discovered the one person in Santa Royale who’s more of an emotional wreck than he is. I hear wedding bells!

Sally Forth, 7/10/18

Girl fight Girl fight GIRL FIGHT!!!

OK, that’s the actual joke; I just couldn’t help myself.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Curtis, 7/8/18

On hot summer days long, long ago, Grandma Lumpy would drop a carload of us kids off at a city pool pretty much like this one for an afternoon of swimming and horseplay. I don’t know if parents still do that; I hope so — I’m sure they could use a break from Kids Today, and kids can learn a lot from being lightly supervised among strangers.

What Curtis learns from these outings is:

Judge Parker, 7/8/18

By the time you need Sam’s help, it’s waaay too late — unless you need help constructing an elaborate crazy person conspiracy board. Unfortunately, there’s not enough yarn in Cavelton to connect the dots strewn across this strip. But the broad outlines are clear.

We have reached the final Carnage of the Clans, in which the Parker and Spencer dynasties — having defeated all lesser rivals — face off in battle. The Parkers, blackmailed into alliance with Norton and April, ally with CIA renegades to pick off Spencer fellow-travelers like Godiva, one by one. The Spencers consolidate their far-flung resources, and work with the legit CIA through local liaison Jim Yelich to frame and shame the Parker alliance. It ends in the smoking ruins of Spencer Farms as Abbey and Katherine — bloodied and screeching — claw one another for possession of some meaningless trinket.

In his distant lair, Rocky bides his time.

Slylock Fox (panel), 7/8/18

No, the call is coming from inside the theater, during the movie! Kill him, Slylock — kill him dead!

— Uncle Lumpy