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Archive: Dennis the Menace

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Honestly hoping it’s just a slightly smaller version of Keith

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Mary Worth, 10/1/23

OK, I had a whole thing ready to go here about how the Sunday strips represent Mary’s self-aggrandizing memories/interpretations of events but the daily strips represent reality, because earlier this week Mary nosily asked Keith whether he had any family, yet in today’s version of the sequence we see him offering that information freely. But those thoughts were immediately blasted from my mind by the revelation that Keith has a SECRET (maybe even secret to him???) CHILD who has managed to track him down after only a few days in his new home. Maybe because Mary was tweeting about him nonstop on the official Charterstone Twitter account that she set up after Wilbur taught her to use social media? Anyway, I hope everyone is going to be curious and not judgmental about Keith’s unorthodox family situation!

Hi and Lois, 10/1/23

In 2011, the Huffington Post published an article entitled “What time does the Superbowl start?” which became legendary among those of us who toil in the mines of internet content for its naked understanding that internet publishing was about finding the answers to things people were looking for in the next ten seconds, not crafting clever headlines or providing in-depth information or whatever. It’s a milestone that probably passed unnoticed to most normies, even though we now live in a world mostly spawned by the same engine, where, for instance, physical restaurants have names like “Thai Food Near Me.” Anyway, more than a decade later, it seems that Hi and Lois is trying to get into the search engine optimization game, sadly unaware that Google does not index text in image files.

Dennis the Menace, 10/1/23

Oh, Henry! It seems that you’ve achieved every good thing in your life only as an act of revenge against those who doubted you

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Dennis is CANCELLED (from existence itself)

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Dennis the Menace, 9/28/23

Look, Mr. Wilson, I know your irritating neighbor has pushed you to the brink of madness, but when a couple renews their vows, that doesn’t represent a “reset” where they can decide they actually want to be child-free and any progeny they’ve already sired simply wink out of existence. That’s not how vow renewals work, or how children work, or how the progression of linear time works.

Dustin, 9/28/23

This kid voluntarily hangs out with Dustin all the time, which is a big clue the he’s not in a great place, but after today’s strip I really think someone should be looking into his home life, because it seems like it might be pretty grim.

Mary Worth, 9/28/23

“Sometimes,” he continued, “it’s not about what you like, it’s about what you need — what you need in terms of protein to maintain your massive, rippling physique, and how efficiently you can ingest it.” Then, without further ado, he shoved his face into the pan and started slurping.

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The alien on the right is EXTREMELY high

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Slylock Fox, 9/18/23

I love how the narrator (reflecting official Forest Kingdom Regime propaganda) just has Slylock “overhearing” this conversation, like it’s a conincidence or something, as if he hasn’t very obviously broken into the Count’s castle without a warrant to snoop on his private interplanetary conversations. You could’ve been the first sapient Earth creature to make contact with extraterrestrial life, Sly, but now you’ve spoiled it and probably started our planet’s first space war in the process, so congrats.

Curtis, 9/18/23

Curtis, I honestly think you should be less shocked by “My teacher got a new haircut over the summer” and more shocked by “I have had the same teacher every year for as long as I can remember, and every year I neither advance to the next grade nor get any older.” Anyway, remember a few years back, when you still stayed the same age but got a new hat? This is like that, pretty much.

Dennis the Menace, 9/18/23

OK, Dennis telling grinning and updating some unknown third party about his mom’s sleepiness status … I don’t know what’s going on here but the vibe is very menacing.