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Crock, 7/25/23

Say what you will about the newspaper comic strips, but each one is a rich world filled with details that even dedicated daily readers might go for years without discovering. For instance, did you know that Quench, the beloved (?) camel character in Crock, got his name because his thirst for sweet, soul-numbing alcohol can never be “quenched”?

Marvin, 7/25/23

How many times has this happened to you: You’re in the bathroom at a friend’s house, reading a book of Weird Trivia they keep on the back of the toilet, and you stumble upon a factoid and think “Ha, I can imagine how the syndicated newspaper comic strip character Marvin would react to this!” Well, if you’re on the Marvin creative team, you can easily use that little epiphany to meet your daily joke quota. (This is honestly the best case scenario for a Marvin strip inspired by time spent in a bathroom.)

Family Circus, 7/25/23

Loving everyone’s facial expressions here as they try, each in their own way, to deal with Jeffy’s bullshit. Look at Dolly, she’s having to go into some sort of centered deep breathing wellness exercise in order to not have a meltdown at him.

Dennis the Menace, 7/25/23

Dennis the Menace is obviously the much more menacing “child says darndest thing at a restaurant” panel today, in the sense that he seems to be going out of his way to solicit a wellness check from CPS.

Hi and Lois, 7/25/23

I find Hi’s expression in the second panel extremely wholesome here. He didn’t think it was possible for him to respect the troops any more — but thanks to his garbage man, he’s found a way!

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Six Chix, 7/21/23

When I started this blog [mumblety mumble] years ago, there was still a prevailing ethos that comics strips were, in fact, for kids, even though most of their readers were actually adults, and part of my job, as the Comics Curmudgeon, was to bring to your attention the occasional instance when a comic strip was very obviously not for kids. Anyway, today it’s [mumblety mumble] years later, and that prevailing ethos has largely been cast aside, and not replaced with anything yet because the old world is dying and the new world is struggling to be born, but we’re all gonna sort of keep on going in the meantime, so I’m still going to use this blog to tell you when a newspaper comic strip does a joke about piss stuff. “What’s wrong with me?” wonders a tree sadly, watching all its fellow trees getting pissed on. Not sure if we’re supposed to think the other trees are also sapient or, if they are, whether or not they’re into getting pissed on. Look at all that piss, though! They really just went and … drew it, huh.

Judge Parker, 7/21/23

I’ve definitely criticized post-Woody Wilson Judge Parker of being pretty low stakes, so I have to give the strip credit for really jacking up the stakes in an almost logarithmic progression lately. Oh, did Sam and Abbey’s sex vacation get derailed when someone rammed into their car? Oh, did the person who rammed them abandon a small child? Did the child’s kidnapper show up with a knife? Oh, are all of them going to get mauled to death by a fucking bear???? Tune in tomorrow when all life on Earth is wiped out by a massive asteroid impact, probably!

Dennis the Menace, 7/21/23

Dennis would certainly recognize a picture of the mustachio’d grandfather we see visiting fairly regularly, so I assume that that’s Alice’s dad, and Henry is showing Dennis a photo of his dad, who is dead, which makes this one of the most menacing Dennis responses I think I’ve ever seen.

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Marvin, 7/16/23

Setting aside for the moment the entire “how old is Marvin” question — he’s preverbal, at least for this strip, and not potty trained? — I’m not sure who we’re supposed to sympathize with here. Personally speaking I would not want to be forced to go out to “play” by myself with no friends or toys in sight. Also, I know we’re in the front yard here, but I assume he’s not supposed to be exploring the neighborhood, seeing as he’s preverbal and not potty trained? I’m all for free range kids but that seems a little young in my opinion.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/16/23

Eye surgery is, like, a thing you specialize in, right? It’s not necessarily something you want your neighbor, who’s a G.P. and never liked you in the first place and is visibly annoyed with you and your whole situation, to do after watching a quick YouTube video?

Dustin, 7/16/23

You know, this isn’t the sort of thing I’d usually recommend, but maybe Dustin’s dad could try drinking a little more. Just to take the edge off. Just as an experiment! It’s not like his personality could get much worse.

Dennis the Menace, 7/16/23

Probably unsurprising that Mrs. Wilson fears the looming spectre of death, while Mr. Wilson frankly welcomes it.