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Hi and Lois, 9/11/23

Sometimes it can be easy to forget that we live in an age of technological wonders. For instance, if you have a leak in your house, you can contact a plumbing professional, send them a photo or video of the problem, and have them give a preliminary diagnosis and estimate, all without the need for them to make the trip out to your house. Hi and Lois absolutely hate this, for some reason.

Dennis the Menace, 9/11/23

Not sure if this guy is supposed to be the Mitchells’ minister (in which case their denomination’s clergy has undergone a significant sartorial downgrade in the last few years) or just some hapless victim Dennis has decided to annoy while Henry and Alice stand idly by doing nothing to stop him, but that is the face of a man who is either unable to politely get away from a little moron who’s so theologically misguided that he reinvented Scientology, or the face of a guy who isn’t listening to anything that little moron is saying because he has to take a huge dump. I guess it could be both.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/11/23

Look, Rene, the days which you’d get paid for your musical talents and flim-flam schemes in cash or cocaine are over, you current operate as part of an interconnected network of specialized professionals, so get used to it and stop kidnapping people.

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Blondie, 9/9/23

Are you guys still playing Wordle? I am, and sorry if that isn’t cool anymore, I guess I just like having fun, but the reason I’m aware that it isn’t cool anymore (to the extent that it ever was) is because I know the game went viral in late 2021, which was more than a year and a half ago, which make it definitely not “new,” but I’m just an ordinary human man and not an ageless eternal character in a comic strip that’s been running since 1930, so the way I experience time is much, much different, I suppose. Anyway, do you think either of these guys, or any member of the Blondie brain trust, knows that there’s only one Wordle game per day, or that it’s available on more than one person’s phone?

Gil Thorp, 9/9/23

Look, I’ve generally been supportive of Henry Barajas’s moves to update this strip, but I draw the line at adding a mutant X-Man who’s impervious to heat to the Valley Tech roster.

Six Chix, 9/9/23

Did you know that Little Free Library®, a thing that I assumed had been born from an ethos of radical sharing and openness, is actually a registered trademark? I myself did not! Also, did you know that your local Little Free Library® is a good place to go pick up women? I’m really learning a lot today.

Dennis the Menace, 9/9/23

“You know what would really help with that? A car seat! But my parents don’t care about the law, or whether we live or die.”

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Gil Thorp, 8/31/23

So before we get football season underway, Milford’s students are doing some kind of Night At The Museum sleepover thing, only without the part where the exhibits come to life, probably. Anyway, I’m not sure what possibility is funnier: if Luke Hernandez’s pay at his new Milford coaching job is so low that he has to moonlight as a museum security guard, or if he’s just doing this as part of his job as a Milford faculty member and went out and bought a vaguely law-enforcement-y uniform to help him establish his authority as a chaperone. (The other possibility — that, as this summer’s Prison Bowl demonstrated, Milford-area athletics is becoming full integrated into the carceral state — isn’t really funny at all.)

The Lockhorns, 8/31/23

I really like the expression this bait shop guy is giving Leroy here. “Hey man, that’s … that’s not really how you’re supposed to think about it. I mean, yeah, sometimes the fish die at the end of the process, but not always, and the point is to relax in the boat and have a beer or three, not to come up with a vivid scenario where you’re some kind of fish executioner. Is everything OK at home?”

Dennis the Menace, 8/31/23

Oh, so you don’t like it when tells your guests the mean things you say about them behind their backs, but you also don’t like it when he just quietly goes up to his room and lets the adults socialize? I’m beginning to think that Dennis isn’t the only one engaging in some menacing here.