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I know I said I’d be back on Monday, but … but … I can’t keep away from the weekend’s comics! It’s a sickness.

Marvin, 11/27/10 and a panel from the Lockhorns, 11/28/10

For instance, had I skipped the weekend I would have missed the moment when Marvin and the Lockhorns stopped pussyfooting around and just owned up to their respective central premises. Marvin threw in a half-assed (see what I did there? I know I’ll be punished for it) pun to try to keep within the conventions of the comic strip form; that Lockhorns, true to the comic’s uncompromising commitment to authenticity, went someplace much, much darker.

Panel from Dick Tracy, 11/28/10

Meanwhile, only two weeks into my Sunday Dick Tracy reading, I’m already quickly falling in love with the Crimestoppers Notebook. Look at this diminutive balding Cubs fan, brazenly proclaiming to all and sundry that he’s planning on being home alone! Even the mysterious trench-coated bad guy has been reduced to open-mouthed shock at his openness on this subject.

Apartment 3-G, 11/28/10

Over in Apartment 3-G, Paul Linski prepares to bust his move. You can tell he has less than honorable intentions towards our Lu Ann because he uses crass abbreviations like “’cuz”. Ha ha, I can’t wait to learn what depraved sex act he’ll think Lu Ann’s request to “move her piano” represents!

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It’s Thanksgiving in the United States, everybody! What are you thankful for?

Mary Worth, 11/25/10

Are you thankful that some terrible combination of painkillers and terror hasn’t led you to make an ill-advised proposal of marriage to Mary Worth?

Dick Tracy, 11/25/10

Are you thankful that Dick Tracy is finally going to take on the killer whose name everyone knows — the police? (“My God, 911 is a joke!” Dick muses.)

Dennis the Menace, 11/25/10

Are you thankful that you’re not forced to drink glasses of gravy, like Dennis and Joey? I’m not. I’m sad that I’m not allowed to do so. Enjoy your gravy, everybody!

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Dick Tracy, 11/21/10

Hey, everybody, I’ve started reading the Sunday Dick Tracy! It sure is, um, horizontal. Anyway, the plotline just wrapping up here featured a rich man pretending to be a kindly hobo handing out money to good-hearted folks who deserved it, which naturally meant that he was history’s greatest monster. Giving away money, can you believe it? Obviously he was a fraud! Anyway, I kind of love Chief Liz’s threat in the final panel. “Oh, you thought the prospect of redistribution of wealth was terrifying, Dick? Well, in your next assignment there won’t be any wealth to speak of! That’s right, there’ll be no money at all! MU HA HA HA!” At least there also won’t be ATMs that serve as a convenient robbery site for shadowy, angular figures.

Panels from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/21/10

Snuffy Smith throwaway panels, I’ve read Fred Basset. Fred Basset is a friend of mine. Snuffy Smith throwaway panels, you’re no Fred Basset.