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Archive: Family Circus

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Sam and Abbey get lucky, chapter 8,382,109

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Judge Parker, 9/4/11

Oh, hey, have the mega-rich of Judge Parker stumbled into yet another opportunity to maximize their already unspeakably hegemonic spending power? Sure looks that way! I look forward to a solid week of this oddly bearded man simpering and groveling, hoping that the sudden appearance of some wealthy people who want to buy a stupid RV on a whim will keep the business solvent and his health care benefits in place for another few days.

Family Circus, 9/4/11

Wow, Billy sure is looking ludicrously smug as he thinks fun thoughts about the summer just passed. You’d think that he’d be sad about the coming school year, but perhaps he’s looking forward to regaling his unwilling classmates with smug tales about how much better his summer was than theirs.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/4/11

Miss Prunelly is in such an ecstasy over the gift offerings she’s receiving from a long line of worshipful students that she isn’t even bothering to correct their nonstandard use of “brung.” It’s sad, really.

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Thursday quotables

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Gil Thorp, 9/1/11

“I’m Wildcat Maris — no relation to an actual wildcat, though we are both mammals. Nevertheless, despite what my quick reflexes and lustrous coat would lead you to believe, I’m actually a human being, just like you! Only better.”

Gasoline Alley, 9/1/11

“Plus, if you believe in a literal interpretation of Genesis, all human beings are descended from Noah, since only he and his immediate family survived the Deluge! Hey, what’s the matter? Are my irritating conversational stylings making you wish that God would destroy all life with a world-cleansing flood?”

Family Circus, 9/1/11

“Gah, Billy accidentally came into contact with science! Quick, lock him in the isolation chamber until we can figure out how to disable the picture-radio!”

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One-panel quickies

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Family Circus, 8/25/11

Ha ha, the Keane Kids are aggressively illiterate philistines, what a surprise! I’m not sure which is sadder: that Jeffy and Billy are encouraging their mother to walk all over books, therefore showing their contempt for learning, or that they’ve managed to soak the entire living room rug, no doubt through some process too distasteful to contemplate.

Jumble, 8/25/11

Ha ha, Jumble Jeff sure likes sewing curtains! And drawing curtains! Wait, wait, that’s the solution to the puzzle, right? “Drawn shades” or something? I’ll just count the blanks in the answer and … God damn it, I hate how dumb the Jumble always makes me feel.

Ziggy, 8/25/11

I think a bird is drowning in the birdbath? Too bad Ziggy won’t be able to save it. He’s not CPR-qualified! He’s not good at anything!