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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/7/24

Oh my goodness, Rene’s reign of grifting terror is finally at an end, stopped once and for all by the deliberate and heroic efforts of our protagonists some random guy hitting him with a car. Remember, in the Morganverse, a pedestrian getting run over results not in death but in selective amnesia, so I look forward to seeing how his personality gets rebuilt better than before, possibly with the help of the Lyle Ollman’s patented Mirakle Method™.

Curtis, 1/7/24

A longtime and beloved Curtis bit is that Curtis enjoys cracking wise about the elaborate hats worn by the ladies in his congregation. Part of the bit is that Barry, despite enjoying the quips, always begs him to stop, and today we finally learn why: having angered the Church leadership with their antics, the brothers have now been excommunicated, expelled from the community and forever cut off from God’s grace. Look for a future strip where Derek and “Onion” ask Curtis “Hey, ‘Wimp-kins,’ why the long face?” and he replies “Think’st thou that I, who saw the face of God and tasted the eternal joys of heaven, am not tormented with ten thousand hells in being deprived of everlasting bliss?”

Daddy Daze, 1/7/24

We’re all on the same page about the Daddy Daze baby’s “ba”s actually just being nonsense babble and the Daddy Daze daddy is working out his own interior emotional turmoil when he projects meaning on to them, right? I think today’s strip neatly illustrates the process: something deep the Daddy Daze daddy’s half-awake mind has conjured up a truly nightmarish body horror scenario, which he puts into the mouth of his son, and then his higher consciousness works to transmute this grotesque image into something much more pedestrian: an anxious metaphor about the imposter syndrome that he assumes all adults share. The way he has to speak all this aloud really drives home the fact that he’s got the worst recorded case of bicameral mind since the Bronze Age.

Dick Tracy, 1/7/24

Look, I get that Dick Tracy is at least 15 to 20 percent old timey pop culture references by volume, but I feel like naming two characters after the actors who played the Second and Third Doctors on Doctor Who but you add a letter to one of the names and also don’t make the characters look anything like them is less of an “old timey pop culture reference” and more “ah shit ah shit I need to come up with a couple names for people for this storyline, uh uh uh uh uh”.

Dennis the Menace, 1/7/24

Pretty sure that “a little dehydrated” is the euphemism publicists use describe their celebrity clients who are obviously drunk or high in public, so Dennis’s little game here is the least of the menace on display.

Family Circus, 1/7/24

Don’t be sad, Mr. Snowman! That hot chocolate would hollow you out from the inside within seconds, leaving you to die screaming on the kitchen floor! You’re better off alone outside!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/6/24

Personally, if I had fled in the middle of the night from the people I had defrauded in order to avoid a lawsuit, and also was presumably on probation for attempted murder chargers, I would not hang around in a room full of the people I had wronged just to confirm that Rex Morgan was the ultimate architect of my current setback, no matter how good my fake beard skills were. In fact, I would simply leave Glenwood altogether if it seemed that all of my evil schemes were being foiled by Glenwood’s most prominent doctor! That’s just me, though. I’m not telling Rene how to do his job. But, honestly, he seems pretty bad it, so maybe he could use the advice.

The Lockhorns, 1/6/24

“I know this, of course, because of our varied, intense, and enthusiastically consensual BDSM-centered sex life. ‘Wallet area’ is what I call his ass when I’m mixing things up with a little financial humiliation play.”

Daddy Daze, 1/6/24

We all know about the Daddy Daze daddy, who speaks in normal human language, and about the Daddy Daze baby, who speaks in a series of “ba”s that the Daddy Daze daddy purports to understand and translates for the benefit of us, the readers. Well, today we learn about the Daddy Daze grandaddy, who speaks in series of asterisks that the Daddy Daze daddy purports to understand and translates for the benefit of us, the readers. Pretty crazy, huh? That’s 2024, baby. Who knows what surprises await!

Family Circus, 1/6/24

RED ALERT RED ALERT DOLLY HAS BECOME AWARE OF FEMINISM, REPEAT, DOLLY HAS BECOME AWARE OF FEMINISM

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/3/24

Sure, we’re being told that this crowd is CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!ing in big red letters, but by their faces, they don’t look that enraptured, do they? This makes sense because honestly, the audience for a self-help group/cult tour making its second pass through a smallish city would logically be mostly made up of (a) people who had already bought into the cult idea and are now unsettled to learn that the cult has a new leader and (b) people who only came in the hopes that Mud would play “Muddy Boots” and, like, who cares if this cult has just undergone a leadership reshuffle, really? Is that going to make them play “Muddy Boots” any sooner? Because frankly they’re just talking a lot about who really founded the cult and that can only push “Muddy Boots” time further back.

Family Circus, 1/3/24

I genuinely love how haunted both Jeffy and Grandma look here. Grandma obviously is really wounded that the kids just walked out in the middle of some story that was obviously quite meaningful to her, possibly about her beloved husband, the grandfather they never knew. Jeffy, meanwhile, is thinking “World exist before Jeffy? This mean teddy bear still exist when under blanket and Jeffy can’t see???”

Blondie, 1/3/24

I also genuinely love the Red Bull empties on Dagwood’s desk. He tried! He really tried! But if he can stay rail-thin despite his shockingly inhuman food consumption habits, you’d better believe that a few thousand milligrams of caffeine and taurine aren’t going to be enough to keep his synapses firing.

Shoe, 1/3/24

I will admit that this is a perfectly serviceable bit of wordplay, but I do want to point out that they give this lefty-loving bird lady a headband, because only a dirty hippie would ever date a socialist! Just to drive the point home, Roz is using the red flag of world revolution to wipe the crumbs off her counter.