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Family Circus, 3/15/23

I don’t have kids, but I am given to understand that your child handing you a crumb-covered piece of garbage and explaining how its actually a thoughtful, beautiful gift that you’ll be a bad person for throwing away is definitely in the realm of thing that your kids will do for/to you. This one’s going up on lots of refrigerators everywhere, is what I’m saying! “You’ve got to laugh,” they’ll say, hanging it up with a magnet. “You’ve got to. The alternatives are all pretty bad.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/15/23

I dunno, those quote marks around “exploring America” makes it sounds kind of sarcastic and maybe a little euphemistic, I would not let Sarah look at that phone.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/15/23

It’s true: A cardiac clinic could be very lucrative, but this poor and sparsely populated region simply cannot support one, so locals must travel hours via perilous cliffside paths to the big city if they need open-heart surgery.

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Pluggers, 2/27/23

Look, I’m not going to say that there are no plugger or plugger-identified referees, but I feel comfortable in saying that for the vast majority of pluggers, when they see a referee on TV, their first thought is not “ahh, there’s another regular working man, just like me” but is instead “HOLDING? YOU THINK THAT’S HOLDING? FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE”, so I don’t know how well today’s Pluggers is going to land. I do think it’s accurate that pluggers would never rise to a career level where they might come to know interesting corporate or government secrets, though. That part I buy.

Judge Parker, 2/27/23

“I mean, it’s only Monday. He’s gonna be monologuing for the rest of the week. You want him to wrap up on Thursday and then we have to sit around in awkward silence for two more strips? We gotta stretch this out.”

Family Circus, 2/27/23

“And maybe some new glasses. You see how close he’s sitting to the TV?”

Hagar the Horrible, 2/27/23

You know, Hagar the Horrible usually focuses on small, mundane little moments in the life of a band of Viking warriors, but every once in a while you get a glimpse of a hugely important historic moment — like today, when the Varangian Guard was founded.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/26/23

This whole Truck-Wanda thing has been slow-burning in Rex Morgan for months now, but somehow it’s only now occurring to me that this is in fact the strip’s second “courtly older gent finds romance with a gal who owns a diner” plot. One is fine, but two is indicative of the sort of sick fetish that I don’t care to see played out on the funny pages where children can see it.

Dennis the Menace, 2/26/23

We make fun of Dennis losing his edge, but Mrs. Wilson is actively seeking out some menacing. She needs someone who’s willing to say “These cookies suck ass, old woman; you’re losing your touch,” because she needs to know if she is, in fact, losing her touch.

Family Circus, 2/26/23

“Almost as if a large, spherical object is being repeatedly bashed against the wall! Welp, guess we should continue to not investigate this and hope for the best [winks]”