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OK, your COTW in a moment, but first, thanks to many faithful readers for alerting me to the existence of the Jersey Circus, which, yes, it’s pretty much exactly what you think it is.

Also! Confidential to elitist iPad users! If you read this site on your elitist iPad, you have probably noticed to this point that by default you will be directed to the mobile version of the site, which isn’t really ideal. With the help of the talented Dalton Rooney, I think I’ve been able to fix this; if you are still getting redirected to the mobile site, go to Settings -> Safari and clear your cache. Let me know if you still have troubles, or if you are using another device of some sort that shouldn’t be defaulting to the mobile site but is anyway!

And now: your comment of the week.

“This is Pluggers’ sad attempt to be informative. ‘Hey, did you know the light bulb was invented by Edison? No, I don’t remember what his first name was. What am I, some sort of libraryman?'” –Byeynyn

And your hilarious runners up!

“My brain cannot reconcile a world in which Beyonce and the girls of Apartment 3G coexist. It’s like when Mark Trail pulls out a cell phone and you fear for the structural coherence of his universe.” –Jake Morgendorffer

“Is Mark’s ass ready for the responsibility of caring for a wild animal? And who’s going to bathe the deer and check him for ticks — you, Mark’s ass? I have my doubts.” –Walker of Dog

“So the Keane’s family vacation is now into its fourth (?) week. I think it’s time Bil told the kids the truth — that the house got foreclosed and he sold his nipples to afford the gas and tolls to the beach. From now on they’ll follow the seasons up and down America’s beaches, living off of sandcrabs and scavenged quarters.” –A Seedy Looking Gentleman Carrying A Large Bag

“The first thing I noticed was Mark Trail’s voice bubble butt (haha … get it?), but then I saw the hideously crooked, apparently four inch nose on ol’ Stepfather in panel one, certainly meaning he’s had a few run-ins with Mark before. And this bodes well for a good strong one-two KAPOW in the next few days’ strips!!! Distract them with the talking anus! Rebreak his nose!” –Wilbur

“I think I know why Mark Trail enjoys spending so much time alone in the woods. Has there ever been an instance when the statement ‘Why are you here, Trail?’ wasn’t wholly appropriate? You could use that phrase to replace any dialogue ever spoken to Mark and it would make perfect sense.” –survivor

“Unless Lucky is a contortionist, Beth is actually riding him like a pony. Out of context, that sounds slightly dirty, but not once you know the context is Mark Trail.” –AndyL

“Remember, Big Daddy Keane, if he doesn’t float, he’s not a witch.” –Master Softheart

“Sorry, Lonnie, but your son hangs out with Mary Worth. He hasn’t really turned out that great.” –Alison

“Man, I am really digging hat-guy in Gil Thorp there. He’s just so happy to be here. He came to party, and damned if he’s not going to, youth golf or no youth golf. He and Andrew Gregory can have an off-panel party to celebrate being the only interesting people to ever appear in Gil Thorp, and also to celebrate never having to appear in it again.” –He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus

“This plotline is running out of twists. The only thing that could take this plot in a new wacky direction is that Dr. Mike and his dad are actually in an abandoned Sharper Image store with a tropical wallpaper motif, and pops is sitting on a massage chair. I can’t explain the sweating though.” –Government Cheese

“The scene in Pluggers makes ‘going green’ look like an inoperable prostate disease.” –NoahSnark

“I think the search for Richie’s killer will go a little better now, since those two have finally developed their mutant superpowers.” –Rumon

“Are you going to beat me up too, Kitty? Well, please stick to the face and stomach. Kat really did a number on my kidneys.” –Snuggs

“In a strip as formulaic as Mark Trail, there is no reason to use a foreshadowing device. We already know how this will end. Frank might as well have said: ‘I hope in 21 to 24 days from now I don’t get caught operating my illegal hunting grounds, have large beads of sweat running down my brow while trying to explain things to my family, try to escape, get punched in the face, and end up being lectured by Mark Trail while a Forest Ranger stands in the background with his hands on his hips.'” –Thomas B.

“A true plugger would never call directory assistance for a number, since it would cost money.” –Rachel

“Can’t Mike get married and have kids and be an alcoholic too? Why limit himself?” –greghousesgf

“In the last panel, Cayla finally realizes she’s really competing with Susan for honorable mention in the Les’ Lifemate Beauty Pageant. She’s always known that the first woman in Les’ life is his dead wife (whether in ghost or book form) and second goes to Summer, but now she knows that third place goes to the Funkyverse’s conquering bitch mistress: Pizza.” –Sassback

“‘What do you think about holding my book launch party here at Montoni’s?’ ‘That crappy drivel? Sure. Why hold it anywhere good?'”–TruthOfAngels

“It’s good to see the Mudlarks are keeping up with their crucifixion drills.” –Patrick

“Today is the first day of school in districts all around the country. It is therefore particularly malicious of our nation’s comics writers to try to pump up the parent anxiety like a three-panel NBC Dateline episode. Will my first grader be safe riding the school bus? Will my freshman football player be shielded from ritual bukake hazing? No, says the comics page. No they will not.” –Guy Neeto

“I’d say Margo’s makeover is complete. Those lovely raven tresses and that smock give her sort of a ‘Veronica Lodge meets the Bride of Frankenstein’ vibe I find irresistible.” –Joe Blevins

“A group of adorable schoolchildren are about to die in a horrible school bus accident! And Crankshaft had nothing to do with it! I know, I don’t believe it either! That’s why the police are already combing his place, give it time.” –Black Drazon

As ever, big thanks go out to everyone who put some cash in my tip jar! And, while there are no advertisers to thank this week, there have been some exciting updates to our advertising offerings, so please check those out!

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Pluggers, 8/24/10

Well, here’s a sentence that I never, ever thought I’d have reason to type: I learned some interesting stuff from Pluggers today! A “clip joint” apparently is a bar where patrons are lured in, sometimes by the promise of adult entertainment, sometimes by pretty ladies asking passersby to come party with them; generally speaking the ladies have a drink or two with the poor mark and then slip out, at which point the victim discovers that the drinks were hundreds of dollars apiece (should have asked before ordering, bud) and there are some large, burly men there to make sure that he pays. This scam is or was popular in the mostly plugger-free locales of London and New York. This delightful factoid about the world’s seedy underground has really made my day, so, thanks, Pluggers! I guess pluggers don’t get hustled into these establishments because it’s pretty obvious that they don’t have any money to steal.

Mark Trail, 8/24/10

Longtime Mark Trail readers know in their bones that something is off about Stepfather here, so the fact that he’s so blithe about letting his wife’s little girl keep a tick-ridden wild animal as a pet sets off warning signals that some deeper horror is in the offing. “Why are you here, Trail… is it about my fence? Are you worried that I’m building a giant hunting enclosure, and that I’m going to have some of my rich buddies come and shoot little Lucky here and leave him to bleed to death, right in front of this adorable little girl? Is that what this is about? Because I can’t confirm or deny that at this time.”

Family Circus, 8/24/10

Big Daddy Keane is allowing himself a little smile because he now has another solid vote in favor of Operation Sell Jeffy, Or, If There Aren’t Any Takers, Just Give Him Away. All he needs is one more vote for a majority — and really, it shouldn’t be too hard to trick PJ into waving his little arm in the air at the right moment.

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Shoe, 8/13/10

This diner patron has suddenly realized that the ambiguities of the verb “serve” could be deadly in a world of talking animals. We already know that the birds in the strip eat other birds, so why wouldn’t Roz just kill her bird-man customer and feed him to a fish-man? No reason. No reason at all why she wouldn’t. Better tip big, bird-man!

Family Circus, 8/13/10

The whole “Keanes go to the beach” storyline we’ve been enjoying (for certain limited definitions of “enjoying”) over the past couple of weeks is, as several readers have pointed out, a repeat from the ’70s or ’80s. Certainly that was a more innocent time, when Jeffy’s brazen nudity was merely implied and not rubbed in our faces.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/13/10

“No, yore paw is passed out, from th’ likker.”