Archive: Family Circus

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Gil Thorp, 12/14/18

Yesssss, some mysterious character is in fact taunting the Milford athletic department via billboards, just like those guys in Buffalo, or, less relevantly but I suppose more at the top of the collective cultural consciousness, Frances McDormand’s character in Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Given the outsized importance high school athletics holds in the Greater Milford Micropolitan Area, it’s wholly appropriate that our antagonist here beholds his work like a cackling supervillain unveiling his doomsday device.

Family Circus, 12/14/18

Jeffy thought that once he had killed Santa, the shackles of “nice” and “naughty” that had defined his life were broken forever. But there was one thing he hadn’t reckoned with: Santa’s ghost.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/14/18

The Minutes Will Feel Like Hours™: That’s the Rex Morgan, M.D.,® promise!

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Gasoline Alley, 11/21/18

Gosh, it’s been [checks notes] six weeks since I’ve updated you on the endless, onanistic celebration of the 100th anniversary of Gasoline Alley, which for the record is still ongoing, but let me assure that nothing of any real interest has happened in all that time, a trend that continues more or less today. A seeming eternity ago (though it was probably only a few days or something, I am not going to look it up for the sake of this joke, I do not believe that it’s worth it on any level) the action got hijacked by Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, furious that their upcoming 100th anniversary was being ignored, and today, in this possibly non-canon episode, we finally learn from Snuffy exactly what the Code of the Hills entails: immediately responding to anything that might be interpreted as even a minor slight to your honor by shooting your antagonist in the head.

Family Circus, 11/21/18

Ha ha, it’s funny because Ma Keane is so, so lonely! Normally when I do the “Ha ha, it’s funny because…” bit on this site, I’m deliberately reading against the grain of the intended joke, or at least exaggerating it, but “it’s funny because Ma Keane is so, so lonely” is 100% what the punchline is supposed to convey here. It’s real dark!

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Family Circus, 11/11/18

This is actually a properly heavy strip for Veteran’s Day! Kids, all these military toys and video games that are marketed to you nonstop make war seem like a hoot, but your dad knows the truth, after being forced to experience and do terrible things during [squints] the Guadalcanal Campaign in World War II.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/11/18

Does America go far enough in taking care of its veterans? Sure, we often fall short of our promise to provide them with high-quality health care that meets their specific needs; but at least it’s accepted that every single soldier is allowed to live out the rest of their lives as shiftless chicken thieves, to honor their service.

Beetle Bailey, 11/11/18

Say, did you ever want to know what everyone in Beetle Bailey’s ethnicity was? Well, here you go! Which of these do you think was literally just made up for today’s strip? It’s definitely that Rocky is Mexican, right?