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Family Circus, 5/4/06

So why do you suppose that this panel is completely devoid of background details of any kind? And yet why is Barfy’s mangy little head poking in at the bottom of the frame, despite the fact that he’s not involved in this “joke” at all?

My theory about the first question: The utter blankness is supposed to cue us off that the Keanes live in an archetypical existentialist meaningless void — like Waiting For Godot, with more malapropisms.

My theory about the second question: Mom has grown so enraged by Billy’s awful horn-tooting that she’s trained Barfy to kill, kill, kill at sound of the first note. Thus the little hint of a smile on her face.

Can these two theories be reconciled with one another? I leave this as an exercise for the commentariat.

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Mary Worth, 5/1/06

It gets worse, Kel: everything in that tupperware dish is just your portion.

How does anyone in Mary Worth ever put on any weight? The only foodstuff on offer there is disgusting off-white unidentifiable mush.

Family Circus, 5/1/06

You sure got that right, you little fucker.

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Family Circus, 4/23/06

This may be the first time ever that I’ve appreciated the Family Circus in a non-ironic fashion. Then again, this may be the first time that the Family Circus featured the aftermath of a ghastly parody of a religious sacrament that quickly descended into child-injuring violence. My favorite aspects: the discarded bible, face down in the grass, its pages no doubt scratched to ribbons by Kittycat in a desperate attempt to escape salvation; and the dripping water and anger-produced steam emanating from the aforementioned still-unsaved feline. I am a bit curious about the transistor radio — tuned to some cheesy contemporary Christian channel, no doubt. I also think that it was overkill to use the hose and the bucket and the water already in the birdbath. They really tried to baptize the hell out of that cat.

Anyway, the only way this cartoon could have been improved would have been to dress Jeffy up like Robert Mitchum’s evil preacher from Night of the Hunter.

Luann, 4/23/06

Criminey, DeGroots, this is the ghetto-ist replacement for a TiVo ever. Join the modern age, already!

This next joke, on today’s Rex Morgan, is courtesy of Mrs. C.:

You know, for someone whose parents are a doctor and a nurse, Sarah sure is sick a lot.