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Blondie, 8/16/24

This strip may on first read seem entirely incoherent, but I actually think it nicely captures many people’s instinctive take on generative AI. Delicious, chemically infused slop dished up a vaguely burger-flavored form? Yum yum, bring it on! Uncanny valley content slop that you find when desperately searching for information or recipes online or looking at pictures on Facebook? Ugh, no, gross, absolutely not, kill it with fire.

Judge Parker, 8/16/24

Think I’m siding with mom here. Oh, you think your little underwater sojourn has helped you solve the mystery of the missing dad? Well, have you considered that the missing dad is going to be dead forever, whereas this party is alive and bumpin’ for just a few more hours? Why do you have to ruin it now, when we’ve already spent all this money on nice hors d’oeuvres?

Family Circus, 8/16/24

Sorry, Dolly, if you can’t even rope in your stupidest sibling, I don’t think your plan to declare yourself a God manifest on Earth and demand worship is going to work out.

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Family Circus, 8/9/24

“Steve Tracy” here annoys me so much, because it feels like I’m supposed to know who he is, and despite being the Comics Curmudgeon I do not waste my valuable and declining brain cells on non-Keane Family Circus characters, OK? I guess he’s supposed to be one of Billy’s little friends, who in general don’t seem to recur as characters, possibly because Billy is pretty off-putting. Anyway, Billy, did you know that the Olympics are in France? Do you think “Steve Tracy” or any of your other shitty little friends have the financial resources or cultural savvy to go to France? What a frankly ludicrous notion.

Blondie, 8/9/24

Say what you will about Dagwood Bumstead, but he is a man capable of truly herculean feats of gastronomical engineering, routinely constructing improbably enormous sandwiches and stacking rows of plates up his arms for easier transport. The fact that he’s capable of expressing such cartoonish excitement about the fact that Blondie has arranged five eggs in a vaguely Olympic rings-shaped tableau on a serving dish just proves that he’s as down bad for her as he ever was, which after all these years is honestly quite sweet.

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Dustin, 7/29/24

Absolutely one of the most heartbreaking things about Dustin is that Dustin’s dad is a cruel asshole who will never love his son, and Dustin is a contemptible slacker who will never get his life together in a way that might cause his father to feel a shred of affection for him, but Dustin still wants his father to love him. Look at his face in that first panel: he knows that he’s figured out how to get his father to talk shit about some imaginary stupid young people who exist in his mind, rather than about his actual son, to his son’s face.

Hi and Lois, 7/29/24

The LIBERAL COMMUNISTS at PBS want you to spend your 6 o’clock hour like Hi in panel two: getting Ludovico techniqued from watching 60 uninterrupted minutes of war crimes. But your patriotic friends at the commercial networks know what you really want: 41 minutes of actionable News You Can Use and 19 minutes of ads for new breakthrough pharmaceutical products to ask your doctor about, which are also a kind of news you can use, if you think about it!

Family Circus, 7/29/24

Ha ha, YES Jeffy, you’ve got him dead to rights for unpatriotic thoughtcrime, time to have him sent to the reeducation camps and you’re FREE