The Comics Curmudgeon

Main Menu

Social Media

Archive: Gil Thorp

Comments are closed

Gridiron mysteries!!!!

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 10/14/19

Well, well, well, looks like we’ve hit the part of this Gil Thorp storyline where the threads we’ve been following to this point weave together to form a seamless narrative whole. In this case we’ve got “Charlie’s overbearing stepdad will help his football prospects whether Charlie wants his help or not” and “what exactly is the deal with the mysterious elder sophomore Chance Macy, anyway,” and the connection is that Chance is a sophomore star and Charlie, a junior, is his backup, and Charlie’s stepdad is going solve the mystery and leave Chance discredited to clear the path for his not-as-good-at-football stepson. Chance lives with his grandparents and there have been some hints that he has some kind of temper (just like that transfer baseball student from a couple years back), and today we learn that Chance and Charlie are apparently the same age despite Chance now being a year behind. I think the answer is clear: Chance murdered his parents in a fit of rage, which is why he’s being raised by his grandparents and also that’s the sort of thing that’ll get you held back a year, probably. Now we’ll find out if Milford can stomach the prospect of winning a championship with a murderous running back! (The answer is clearly yes.)

Hi and Lois, 10/14/19

“I’m glad these helpful informational screens are built into this gas pump,” she continued, speaking loudly enough for any hidden microphones to hear. “It’s good that we’re being bombarded with celebrity gossip 24 hours a day! I don’t like thinking about bad news! I’m very happy!”

Comments are closed

How many hours a week do Gil and Kaz spend hanging out at the gym, do you think

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 9/26/19

Hmm, why is it that sophomore Chance Macy is running up huge numbers on the football field, but doesn’t really want to hang out with other students, and particularly resists the female attention that a big man on campus often gets. Could it be because he’s an “overaged” sophomore, and by “overaged” we mean a 26-year-old undercover cop who quickly realized that nobody at Milford High was doing any crimes and decided to use his assignment to relive his high school athletic glory years? Very excited for Gil and Kaz to pretend to be shocked, shocked when this comes out just in time to force them to pull out of the championship game!

Mark Trail, 9/26/19

Look, Mark, I’m not big on pseudoscience either, but maybe right after your host tells you that they’ve been obsessed with something their entire life isn’t the best time to say “Wow, sounds like you wasted your life on a scam and a fraud, then!” It’s just basic courtesy, and it could be the difference between the world’s most preeminent yeti expert rescuing you from a savage yeti attack and the world’s most preeminent yeti expert laughing “Who’s a pseudoscientist now, Mark?” as a yeti tears you apart with its razor-sharp teeth.

Comments are closed

Sexual whiplash

Post Content

Hi and Lois, 9/19/19

I don’t know why Lois even has an elaborate, frilly apron that seems like it wouldn’t be much practical use for protecting your clothes from cooking splashes and is probably from some catalog dedicated to eroticized maidwear … actually, scratch that, I know exactly why she has it: it’s for sex play, and she obviously deploys it on the regular when she watches the Donna Reed Show and gets hornt up, and, you know, good for her, BUT: Hi has clearly suffered some kind of vicious beating on his way home from work, with his suit badly damaged and his eyes wide and unfocused due to shock or maybe a concussion. This is no time for love, Lois! Read the room!

Gil Thorp, 9/19/19

Hey, remember this past summer, when we revisited a former high school athletic superstar who also liked books and learning, like a damn nerd? Well, welcome to this year’s football plot, where the star running back likes quiet evenings at home reading books, like a damn nerd. He likes books more than sex even. What madness is this?