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Beetle Bailey, 6/17/24

OK, it’s probably just a clip art compositing error, but I actually think it’s very in character that Plato is abruptly swapped in for Killer between panels here. Plato is, as his name attests, a philosopher at heart, and is interested in a wide range of human experiences that can help him better understand his fellow humans and their diverse cultural practices. Killer, on the other hand, has a reputation to maintain with the ladies, and smelling like a garbage can is simply not going to help with that at all.

Gil Thorp, 6/17/24

I don’t really follow competitive softball, so, uh, is a 0.751 batting average something someone would actually have, even in a terrific season? That seems less “terrific” and more “oh my GOD” and you’d have media following you around the country. On the other hand, even though a batting average of course represents a decimal number, usually a sportscaster would just say “seven fifty one” not “zero point seven fifty one,” so maybe Keri is getting a hit seven or eight times out of every 10,000 at-bats, which is honestly less impressive.

Rex Morgn, M.D, 6/17/24

Parker and Cory’s friend, three minutes earlier: “But why do people become bullies? ChatGPT, don’t fail me now!”

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Gasoline Alley, 5/14/24

Ha ha yes, last week I had some fun imagining Walt encountering some biblically accurate angels, but this week Walt has entered a dreamscape where he’s conflating going to a public meeting and not actually doing anything helpful until the mayor showed up and fixed the actual problem with being an ancient hero, a biblical patriarch and warrior who triumphs over impossible odds. Don’t worry, though: unlike the real bible, this imagined ancient setting will still include the crushingly unfunny wordplay you have come to expect from this strip.

The Phantom, 5/14/24

Oh, OK, so this whole thing has ultimately been about a little light idol theft, and I think it’s funny that this bad guy thinks he can rope our hero in with the promise of ill-gotten idol riches. The Phantom would never do anything so gauche as to launder pilfered cultural heritage through discreet and well-connected European auction houses so they end up at the British Museum next to a small plaque that says “provenance unknown”! Why would he bother, when he could just keep them in a room deep in his jungle lair and go down and look at them every few years?

Gil Thorp, 5/14/24

“Well, here’s your problem: you got one of those cubist buses! Sure, you can perceive it from multiple perspectives at once so you can better understand its context, but that kind of setup is hell on an internal combustion engine.”

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Gil Thorp, 5/6/24

Milford has its own Native American reservation and, we learn today, its own institution of higher learning. Soon, having accrued all the necessary components of a robust civic life, this high-school sports crazed town simply won’t need the rest of the United States. That’s when Phase 2 begins.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/6/24

“Let me explain! The castle’s main sewer drains into the moat. You probably already have cholera!”

Mary Worth, 5/6/24

Wow, it looks like Meagan didn’t just smooch that waiter to help purge all Wilbur-related thoughts from her mind; she actually wants to see if he’d be a good fit for a long-term relationship! I certainly hope that she, like everyone Wilbur has been even obliquely romantically involved with, invites him to her wedding to really rub his face in it.

Hi and Lois, 5/6/24

That’s … that’s what everybody likes about working form home, Hi. That’s one of the main reasons why people like to work from home!