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Gil Thorp, 7/10/13

Man, I can not take my eyes off Gil’s jorts in panel one! And I don’t mean that in a good way. Gil, you’re trying to sweet-talk a possibly senile, definitely violent old pro wrestler out of jail, maybe you should dress with a little bit of dignity.

Hi and Lois, 7/10/13

Man, who says print journalism is in trouble? The Generic Suburb Intelligencer-Tribune probably has about half the pages, a third of the staffers, and a quarter of the ad revenue it had when I started this blog in 2004, but that doesn’t mean it can’t find room to wedge in some wire service copy offering “news” about a scientific model of stellar evolution that’s been accepted for pretty much decades.

Spider-Man, 7/10/13

A little poking around on travel sites has flights from San Francisco to Central America lasting anywhere from 9 to 13 hours, and if Spider-Man were to be actively humiliated by a small child for the entire duration of this trip, I for one would not complain at all.

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Gil Thorp, 7/5/13

Well, this is it: I am officially allowing myself to get excited about the Gil Thorp storyline, seeing as it’s going to be about the colorful history of professional wrestling! See, Oldguy McFisticuffs is Herk the Mauler, and is a former pro wrestler, as is his son, who apparently has some connection to Gil, so it’s WRESTLEMANIA until football starts! (Not literally.) (WrestleMania is registered trademark of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.) Can you believe we had (I think, I’m not going to bother going back to check because they were soooo boring) two summers in a row about golf when we could have had wacky tales of regional wrestling from back in the day? Pro wrestling is genuinely fascinating, a weird combination of athletics and improvisational theater with a complex vocabulary, and it did indeed emerge from regional scenes in the middle of the 20th century. Anyway, when Herk wasn’t being a heel in whatever the regional wrestling equivalent of the Valley Conference was, he was “Johnny Blaze” “out west” in a wrestling scene that did as little as possible to mask the sport’s homoerotic undertones.

Herb and Jamaal, 7/5/13

You know, if I were going to do a joke about someone who always speaks her mind and has a hard time holding her tongue, I probably wouldn’t have her deliver the punchline in thought balloon form. But Herb and Jamaal chose a different path.

Mark Trail, 7/5/13

Rusty and the Otters: A play in one act

RUSTY: Don’t wander off, adorable otters!

ADORABLE OTTERS: [Immediately wander off]

FIN

Apartment 3-G, 7/5/13

You know, if I were going to do a plotline about one of my soap opera strip characters trying on a bunch of fancy clothes, I probably would actually depict her wearing some of the fancy clothes instead showing her in between bouts of fancy-clothes-trying-on, wearing the same boring clothes she always wears. But Apartment 3-G chose a different path.

Mary Worth, 7/5/13

Oh, man, Toby does not want to go on this vacation with Mary, you guys.

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Dennis the Menace, 7/1/13

Mr. Wilson’s trademark bead of sweat, indicating a looming Dennis-induced psychotic break, is an often used visual trope in this strip. Today’s is particularly poignant however, as Dennis indulges in some marital menacing by innocently asking why Mrs. Wilson forces her husband to keep his most beloved possessions up in the musty attic rather than allowing him to proudly display it in the main living areas of the home, where guests can see. We almost might think that he’s crying, like a majestic weeping eagle, if we didn’t know that Mr. Wilson is incapable of sadness or remorse, only bottomless crotchety rage.

Gil Thorp, 7/1/13

This Gil Thorp summer storyline is bound to get boring in short order, but let’s enjoy the madness while we can. Today’s panel two, depicting the carnage that remains in the aftermath of codger-on-ruffian fisticuffs, is more or less perfect. I love the fact that the napkins and condiments scattered about by the fight are foregrounded, while the two defeated punks are only semi-visible while draped and/or splayed comically at the top of the panel. Also, maybe they’re terribly injured or dead? Anyway, let’s call Gil in on this situation, why not, surely he’s got something to say about the whole thing.

Judge Parker, 7/1/13

Well, whaddya know! In Judge Parker, a leggy blonde is eagerly offering to fulfill a main character’s every whim! Don’t worry, though, this is Judge Parker, so those whims are super super boring.