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Gil Thorp, 6/1/10

Oh, hey, look, it’s Gil Thorp, where the alt-country star/weirdo/pitching sensation just tried to bean that jerky rich kid from the NutBoy storyline during practice, because said jerky kid has been picking on said alt-country star’s bandmate. Please don’t ask me to explain in more detail or look up their names, as just typing that sentence caused me to start to twitch; today I’m mostly interested in how the team is taking sides in this epic battle. Robb has shown his hatred of bullying and injustice before, assuming that guy from last summer’s storyline is the same Robb; they don’t appear to look anything alike, but this is Gil Thorp, so that doesn’t mean anything, and how many guys named “Robb” can there be, really. Most fascinating is Team Blaine and Not-Blaine in panel three. Who are these mysterious, handsome young men? Why do they value in-group loyalty over social peace in the larger polity? Did they confer on this point before Not-Blaine spoke for both of them, or are their opinions so in tune that they didn’t feel such consultation was necessary? I look forward to none of these questions being answered, ever, but I’ll always remember the day they looked creepily at the reader and mouthed awkwardly written dialogue to move the plot along.

Ziggy, 6/1/10

Did you know that the parrot in Ziggy is named Josh? I have managed to avoid commenting on this shameful fact over nearly six years of comics blogging, but now that the damn bird is apparently trying to muscle in on my territory, I feel compelled to speak out. Hey, parrot, you appear to be shaking! You’d better be shaking in fear, because comics-mocking is my schtick, got it? There’s only one way a bird ought to be commenting on any printed matter, and that is by defecating on it.

(Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if Dagwood were confronted with a wrap, though? He’d presumably be baffled by any foodstuff introduced to mainstream American palates after 1945. Ha ha! Dagwood eating a wrOH GOD OH GOD DON’T LET THE BIRD GET TO YOU JOSH HOLD YOURSELF TOGETHER)

Mary Worth, 6/1/10

Aw, look, Mary has fixed the hell out of Bonnie and Ernie’s marriage, to the extent that they’re just going to start rutting right there in the hospital waiting room. How sweet! This handsome but obviously lovelorn doctor is so enchanted by Mary’s success that he’s found himself unwittingly falling into her gravity well.

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Luann, 5/26/10

“Specifically, to the nunnery. I know we’re not Catholic, but take this pamphlet anyway; maybe you’ll decide to switch. Your brother has been resisting my suggestions, so I’m just going to have him kidnapped and forcibly tonsured.”

Gil Thorp, 5/26/10

I take back what I said yesterday; in no circumstances do I want to see any two persons or objects in motion in Gil Thorp attempting to interact, as today’s third panel proves that such an encounter can only end in the complete collapse of all of Euclidean space-time into chaos and madness.

Mark Trail, 5/26/10

So I guess the theme of this storyline is going to be “Sassy will be hit by so many cars”? I’m not particularly pleased with this. Why couldn’t it have been Rusty?

Herb and Jamaal, 5/26/10

Ha ha! Herb hates his marriage and wishes that he and/or his wife were dead!

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Gil Thorp, 5/25/10

I’ve read Gil Thorp for many years with three different artists at the helm, and I’ve sort of grown fond of the strip’s tendency to cut away from the sports action just as something exciting’s going to happen, showing us only someone reacting to it. But sometimes it would be nice to see actual events occurring; in this case, for instance, perhaps we could see not just the (unsettlingly pinheaded) shortstop crouching as the ball heads his way, but his bobbling of the play as well, or maybe the runners crossing home plate. Though perhaps it’s for our own good: Marty’s eyeball is a milky white, indicating that the play was so exciting that it was like looking directly into a blinding nuclear explosion.

Apartment 3-G, 5/25/10

OH SNAP LU ANN JUST ADMITTED SHE’S A BOYFRIEND-STEALING STRUMPET (in the safety of her mind, where Margo can’t hear her, or so she thinks). I’m a bit puzzled by the “maybe twice” line, which sort of implies that she steals so many boyfriends from so many people that she can’t keep track of them all, though it’s just as likely that she can’t remember because of her oxygen-deprivation-induced brain damage. Anyway, the last boyfriend I remember Lu Ann stealing from Margo was FBI Pete, with all the betrayal happening even before I started the blog, so who even knows how far back the other shenanigans happened.

Herb and Jamaal, 5/25/10

Every five and a half years or so, Herb and Jamaal tests the waters to see if the world of newspaper comics is ready for a joke about hiding corpses. We’ll see if they’ll print it in November of 2015, assuming that newspapers still exist then!