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Archive: Gil Thorp

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I look ruefully at my cabinet of hoarded alcohol wipes

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Crankshaft, 2/8/21

My earlier suggestion that what we’re seeing in Crankshaft was written a year ago and reflects the very early days of the coronavirus pandemic was meant mostly in jest, but after two weeks of Crankshaft defiantly going through his daily life in a hazmat suit, I’ve become more and more convinced I was right. Today’s gag, which name-checks hand sanitizer, everyone’s early-to-mid-pandemic obsession, just confirms it for me. I guess the strip’s putting it in terms of “flu” because the thought was that jokes about COVID-19 would be completely out of date by February of 2021? Ha ha! [laugh becomes increasingly manic and desperate] HA HA HA HA

Gil Thorp, 2/8/21

Wait, so Tessi is “short” for Tessa, a word the same number of letters and syllables? I refuse to accept this, but the alternate reading is that her full name is actually “Contessa,” which I refuse to accept even harder.

Crock, 2/8/21

Ha ha, it’s funny because … the birds shit in their food, which they then ate, not realizing it was full of bird shit? Wow, between this and Dennis the Menace yesterday, everyone’s just kind of going for it, huh.

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Love to high-five my new friend when he learns I have other friends

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Gil Thorp, 2/5/21

“Oh hey! What’s going on in Gil Thorp?” is the question that’s on the mind of a number of people that’s probably literally in the single digits, but all of those people read this blog, so I will do my best to keep them in the loop! Well, it turns out that Corina has a beef with Tessi Milton because Tessi never plays defense, and also is a shallow cool popular girl who probably doesn’t even notice that Corina has a beef with her; also, like all shallow cool popular girls everywhere, Tessi is a whiz at social media and such, and by extension has good ideas for raising the girls’ basketball team’s profile, and one of those ideas is getting Vic Doucette and his wacky antics on the PA system for the girls’ team too. But this has set up a dilemma! Should Vic take on the extra duties and impress a pretty girl? Or should he spend more time with his real friends, his “go-tos”, who are so important to him that they haven’t been seen or mentioned in this entire storyline so far? Once we’ve settled this, we can talk about how root bear should not cause severe jaundice, no matter how much of it you drink.

Hagar the Horrible, 2/5/21

So Helga thinks Hamlet needs to learn about … having sex with plants? I don’t want to judge about this foreign culture, but I’m not so sure about this one.

Marvin, 2/5/21

Ha ha, ladies be shopping, amiright fellas? And fellas … fellas be eating! Ladies presumably gain access to the nutrients they need via some other process. Is it shopping, maybe? We have our best fella scientists working on this and will report back when we know more.

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Friday is for the ladies

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Dustin, 1/22/21

Ha ha, ladies, amiright folks? They definitely be shopping, and they also be using their purse for its intended purpose of carrying things around rather than just leaving it empty!

Gil Thorp, 1/22/21

Oh, right, in addition to the Vic and Doug storylines, this Gil Thorp basketball season also features a girl’s basketball storyline, about beloved (?) new Mudlark Corina Karenna, and how maybe she has some beef against Tessi Milton that she displays by sassing her in very mild ways like calling her by her last name, or maybe she’s just mildly sassy in general, who can say. Anyway, I’m definitely not saying that girls’ Gil Thorp storylines are less interesting than boys’ Gil Thorp storylines in a larger abstract sense, but I am going to say that Corina needs to get sassier by like two orders of magnitude if she wants to compete with Vic’s hot dog giveaways for my attention.

Mark Trail, 1/22/21

From the comic strip that brought you Boatsplosion! and Boatsplosion 2: The Boatsplosioning, comes: Boatsplosion III: Fireworks Yacht.