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Archive: Gil Thorp

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Parallel (lack of) thinking

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Dick Tracy, 3/22/21

OK, just going to admit that I do not get what Dick means by “not without 5G” in panel three. I’m assuming he means the wireless telecommunications technology and this isn’t some piece of cop/gangster/Dick Tracy-specific slang, but, even so: I don’t get it. I guess he could be making a little joke, like “With all the new 5G phones and great wireless plans they have out now, it’s never been easier to reach out to a loved one or drop a dime on your underworld associates.” But maybe it’s more “We’re not going to get him to talk unless we turn up the 5G mind control rays, and those libs at the CDC say we’re not allowed to do that anymore now that we know they cause COVID.”

Gil Thorp, 3/22/21

Oh, man, I haven’t been updating you on the Gil Thorp plot, have I? Well, good news: the Mudlark girls’ basketball team made the playdowns! [five minutes later] We regret to inform you that the girls’ basketball team’s magical playdown run is over.

Gasoline Alley and Mother Goose and Grimm, 3/22/21

God damn it, we went through all the trouble of setting up the shared “What hoary old joke are you going to use in your syndicated newspaper comic strip today?” Google calendar, but it doesn’t work unless everyone updates it!

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Please, our children, they’re very dumb

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The Phantom, 2/12/21

Our tale of Luche Libre adventure is proceeding apace, with our Phantom-assisted luchador, having already busted up a drug lord’s compound, is now heading into Rhodia’s most notorious prison to free his friend. Today’s strip gives an insight into what gets the policemen who power this police state off: it’s Free Rider magazine, featuring full-color pictorials of hot, hot gals who aren’t afraid to exploit market failures in public goods! These sexpots use the roads and parks that your taxes pay for, and they don’t care who knows it!

Gil Thorp, 2/12/21

Hmm, I guess part of the deal with Doug Guthrie is that the cops love him and are willing to wink at his traffic (?) transgressions, because who doesn’t love a kid who loves cars, or maybe his dad is a cop, who can say. Unfortunately for this friendly policeman, “ease up” is a well-known Gil Thorp trigger phrase that could quickly lead to unspeakable violence. Barring a development along those lines, however, I would like to know a lot more about Tom Muench’s illicit parrot-smuggling operation.

Family Circus, 2/12/21

This sort of confusion of the domestic and political spheres is exactly why the Keane family always strongly opposed women’s suffrage in the first place! Won’t someone think of the children?

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I look ruefully at my cabinet of hoarded alcohol wipes

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Crankshaft, 2/8/21

My earlier suggestion that what we’re seeing in Crankshaft was written a year ago and reflects the very early days of the coronavirus pandemic was meant mostly in jest, but after two weeks of Crankshaft defiantly going through his daily life in a hazmat suit, I’ve become more and more convinced I was right. Today’s gag, which name-checks hand sanitizer, everyone’s early-to-mid-pandemic obsession, just confirms it for me. I guess the strip’s putting it in terms of “flu” because the thought was that jokes about COVID-19 would be completely out of date by February of 2021? Ha ha! [laugh becomes increasingly manic and desperate] HA HA HA HA

Gil Thorp, 2/8/21

Wait, so Tessi is “short” for Tessa, a word the same number of letters and syllables? I refuse to accept this, but the alternate reading is that her full name is actually “Contessa,” which I refuse to accept even harder.

Crock, 2/8/21

Ha ha, it’s funny because … the birds shit in their food, which they then ate, not realizing it was full of bird shit? Wow, between this and Dennis the Menace yesterday, everyone’s just kind of going for it, huh.