Archive: Hagar the Horrible

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The Lockhorns, 11/15/21

I’m really loving Leroy’s little bar cart here. You never know what room in the house you might be in when you abruptly need to theatrically pour yourself and a friend some hard liquor as you start griping about how much you hate your wife, so it’s good to be able to easily wheel your cocktail supplies from place to place.

Dennis the Menace, 11/15/21

“Get it, old man? What Christ was to you in your long-ago day, cable television is to me in this brave new world! TV is my lord and savior! Pretty menacing, eh? I could be obsessed with YouTube videos on my parents’ phones like a normal five-year-old, but instead I worship television that you pay $150 a month for and it comes on at a specific time of day, like I’m 55 and have never been ‘good with computers.’ That’s pretty menacing too, in its own way.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith and Gasoline Alley, 11/15/21

I’m not sure if there’s some kind of upcoming anniversary involving one or both of these absurdly long-running strips that has prompted them to simultaneously acknowledge one another, and I don’t care to do the research to find out. I choose to believe that this is just the equivalent of two people who are by far the oldest at a party clocking each other and giving one another a silent nod of acknowledgment. Anyway, it’s too bad Jughaid is unaware of Archie Comics’ Jughead Jones, himself a character who’s been around almost as long as the Hootin’ Holler cast of Snuffy Smith, because I’m sure a lot more people are familiar with him than they are with Sheezix, at least until Gasoline Alley finally gets a CW sitcom of its very own. On the other hand, Jughaid is lucky that he and his fellow Holler residents exist forever in an ageless comic-book time, unlike folks in Gasoline Alley, who are trapped in a hell where they age in real time but their strip will never be cancelled and they will never be allowed to die.

Hi and Lois and Hagar the Horrible, 11/15/21

Bowls of barf? Vikings tossing a severed pig’s head around, for fun? Looks like this is the week when Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC realized that nobody really cares what you put in the newspaper anymore, and they’re gonna run with it.

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Hagar the Horrible, 7/24/21

Wait, she went from dating a mollusk to dating a mammal? The mermaid sexual lifecycle in this strip is even weirder than I thought it was.

Dennis the Menace, 7/24/21

Just when you think Dennis can’t get any less menacing, you get an installment that entirely consists of him saying “Let’s read this other comic strip where the child characters are much more menacing than I am.”

Blondie, 7/24/21

If you’ve ever wondered how the Bumsteads keep their suburban lifestyle afloat on Dagwood’s stagnant salary and the proceeds from Blondie’s low-margin small business, here’s your answer: Blondie sell’s Dagwood’s feet pics to some very specific fetish sites.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/18/21

“Wow, so instead of straining to come up with story elements ex nihilo like I’ve been doing, you used aspects of your everyday life for raw material? Brilliant! By the way, you’ve never heard of ‘character rights,’ have you? Great, great.”

Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 7/18/21

Have you ever wanted to see an elderly Viking woman learning the basics of supply and demand curves … the hard way? Well, the throwaway panels from today’s Hagar the Horrible are for you, my friend.

Hi and Lois, 7/18/21

I’m actually kind of surprised that legacy cartoonists, who have some of the most secure jobs on the planet, don’t just straight-up put their erotic fantasies in their strips more often. I’m definitely not surprised that those erotic fantasies involve golf, though.