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Beetle Bailey, 12/13/15

Welp, looks like Beetle Bailey is going to start spending its Sundays focusing on the ways in which its characters’ lives are exactly as awful as they’d always feared! This one isn’t quite as grim as last week, when General Halftrack declared that his marriage was a prison and his hobby a punishment, but still: Lt. Fuzz worries for six panels that nobody likes him, and then in the seventh his worries are confirmed.

Hagar the Horrible, 12/13/15

Christianity is still a relatively recent import to Scandinavia, and Hagar is having a hard time remembering the schedule of its festivals. Don’t worry, Hagar: the medieval church is pretty accommodating of local traditions. That’s basically Thor’s Oak outside your house, and I’m sure there’s a yule log burning in your fireplace.

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Dennis the Menace, 11/27/15

Dennis is not acting as some kind of pseudoscientific anti-vaxxer here; in some ways, he’s being even more unsettling, asserting his desire to opt out of the more uncomfortable aspects of the social contract while still benefitting from its protections. The fact that this urge lurks within each of us is what makes this truly menacing.

Hagar the Horrible, 11/27/15

The Friday after Thanksgiving is always one of the lowest-traffic days on my blog, and I assume this is true for most forms of media, both in print and online. So I guess it’s pretty much as good a day as any to transition your long-running legacy comic strip to its new focus: centaur erotica.

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Hagar the Horrible, 11/10/15

You know, we spend a lot of time watching Hagar and his Viking band destroying other people’s homes, so it’s about time we get some payback and see all of his worldly possessions, and possibly his terrified family, go up in flames. I feel strongly enough about this that I’m willing to accept Attila the Hun being the perpetrator, even though that’s about 500 years and 1,500 miles away from historical accuracy.

Mary Worth and The Phantom, 11/10/15

Haha, one of these people is a lot more interested in extending this relationship than the other one! “Uh, thanks for the ride, have fun with your actual friends!” “Here’s my number! I’ll be here for weeks! Call me about anything! An-y-thing.”

Judge Parker, 11/10/15

Oh, whew, Sam and Abbey don’t have to figure out how to get rid of the RV that they bought for a song and then suddenly got bored with. It’s going to serve as Neddy’s dowry!