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Archive: Hagar the Horrible

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Walker-Browne strips to kick off your weekend

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Beetle Bailey, 10/18/24

This Beetle Bailey honestly feels kind of grim to me, as banal as it seems on the surface. Sure, Sarge is joking around with Beetle in a way that alludes, in a vaguely threatening manner, to the power he holds over his subordinates, as is his wont, but he’s not glowering or even looking up from his paperwork to make eye contact as he does it. Instead, he’s efficiently taking care of some of his less glamorous duties as a non-commissioned officer and not getting overly emotionally involved in Beetle’s day-to-day life. Maybe all the work he did with Dr. Bonkus on his anger issues finally paid off.

Hi and Lois, 10/18/24

Sorry, Trixie! You’re damned to eternal infancy, and while your baby’s brain may somehow generate adult-level cognition, you will never develop even rudimentary speech capabilities. That means you can’t engage in sophisticated bargaining with your brother in scenarios like this. Thought balloons won’t cut it!

Hagar the Horrible, 10/18/24

Uhhh, no? Because it’s facing the other way? And because of gravity? Idiot.

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It is, quite literally, the freakin’ weekend

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Mary Worth, 10/12/24

God, I hope Jimmy is with Estelle in spirit. I hope he’s been following her around for her whole dating journey, and I hope that when she got to Wilbur he recoiled in disgust. He died while on the job so I assume he still has all his cop stuff with him as a ghost, and I hope that every time Estelle and Wilbur began to have sex he reached his ghost hand for his ghost baton, only to realize that as a mere shade he could never break open the man’s bald head with it, so what’s the point. Instead he just has to sit (float?) there and watch. His spectral but furious presence would explain a lot of the bad vibes around that relationship.

Hi and Lois, 10/12/24

I love that the first panel is a bedtime story and the second is happening at least a day later, which meant that the twins have had to time to discuss this. “He’s talking about Mr. Thurston, right?” they presumably asked each other after Hi shut the door. “He’s the tortoise in this situation?” I also like the fact that leaves are beginning to pile up on Thirsty’s inert form. He’s dead, kids! He’s been dead for hours!

Hagar the Horrible, 10/12/24

Hey, guys, want to read a Hagar the Horrible where some people walk into Hagar and Helga’s house and just start fucking? Well, uh, here you go. Happy weekend, everybody!

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Sammy, stand up for yourself. We’re on a deadline here

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith 8/31/24

You know, I’ve been doing this blog for two decades now, and yet somehow until today I’ve never paused to ask myself the question, “I wonder how Snuffy and Loweezy’s sex life is going?” It’s immediately clear that there’s no “good” answer to this — all the possibilities summon up further unpleasant thoughts and imagery, in their own way — but I’m here to tell you that the answer is “not well.” You can understand why Loweezy might have thought that tonight was a night she was going to get lucky: panel one makes it clear that Snuffy wore his extra-tight overalls to flatter his shapely buttocks, although I guess that’s just to entice Parson Tuttle to get wild and crazy and switch over from CBS to NBC tonight.

Mark Trail, 8/31/24

OK, sorry, I’m willing to accept that Mark is going to write a story about a movie director who accidentally trapped himself in his Catalina Island home with a bunch of lions and is even taking Rusty along on the trip, but if there’s one thing you know I won’t stand for, it’s abuse of Los Angeles geography. If you’re driving from LAX to the Catalina ferry terminal in Long Beach, Santa Monica is in the exact opposite direction of where you’re going! You just added at least an hour to your trip, depending on traffic, and there’s always traffic! Rusty needs to be banned from the next three fishing trips, minimum!

Hagar the Horrible, 8/31/24

Now, keep in mind, when Hagar says “epic,” he’s not talking like some 21st century bro; he literally means that his clan’s bard will be composing an epic oral poem about his warband’s voyage to the Kingdom of Mann and the Isles and the strange Brythonic magic they encountered there. The mutilation of Lucky Eddie’s face will be one of the “funny” parts.