Archive: Hagar the Horrible

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Beetle Bailey, 6/30/11

Oh, look, Sarge is suffering symbolic humiliation, wallowing in filth while shadowy figures and freakish beasts laugh at him! Looks like we’ve invaded his dream again. Don’t worry, Sarge, we’re not enjoying this Freudian hellscape any more than you are.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/30/11

Well, looks like Susan is going to slink awkwardly back into the sunset, after lunging at Les and becoming an object of derision for it (because, you know, Les, gross). I like the sudden look of manic joy on her face in panel two: “No matter where I am in the world, I’ll watch your movie obsessively, because that will be the only way I can be close to you?” “Don’t bother,” Les replies, “any theater showing the film will also be covered by the restraining order.”

Ziggy, 6/30/11

Have you ever wondered what forms of human entertainment would sexually arouse your pets? Well, wonder no more! Here’s to another 40 years of queasy-making perversion from Ziggy!

Hagar the Horrible, 6/30/11

Hagar continues its semi-informed meandering through Norse history, and it looks like it’s hit the Little Ice Age. I look forward to watching the characters all die of starvation.

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Shoe, 6/14/11

I’m sure at some point somebody involved in creating this strip considered writing a punchline that referred to all the words in Roz’s opening dialog, but then everyone concerned realized “Oh, wait, it’s just Shoe,” tasked someone with writing a hot dog joke, and then moved on with their lives.

Spider-Man, 6/14/11

Peter Parker seriously overestimates the amount approbation he receives from New York’s citizens, who mostly just point at him and jeer.

Hagar the Horrible, 6/14/11

Hagar is making a last-ditch effort to stave off situational homosexuality.

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Ziggy, 6/7/11

One of the most shameful moments in the life of any social reject comes when they’re offered the chance to join in on the mockery of someone even lower on the ladder than they are. You might imagine yourself a noble defender of nerd solidarity, but too often, after years of feeling the brunt of teasing and cruelty, the opportunity to step to the other side of the social predator/prey line and feel cool, if only for an instant, is too tempting to resist. If you have shred of humanity, you’re haunted by it later — certainly I am, for the few times I briefly switched teams in my dorky adolescence — but I imagine it’s a pretty universal phenomenon.

I bring this up because Ziggy, who is usually the butt of cruel jibes from his various pets, seems to be enjoying the fact that his vicious parrot is mocking the dog, for once. Ziggy, they’ll never accept you. Try to maintain a little dignity!

Hagar the Horrible, 6/7/11

Hagar the Horrible is one of the most violent strips on the comics page, but I’m pretty sure it’s never depicted an actual corpse before. It’s possible that the poor nameless viking’s awful staring eye isn’t frozen open in death, but merely indicative of the shock he’s entered as a result of his massive and almost certainly fatal wounds, but either way this seems especially grim.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/7/11

This is happiest we’ve seen Funky in years. Naturally, it’s because multiple people that he ostensibly cares about are in painful emotional turmoil.

Marmaduke, 6/7/11

Marmaduke was the hero of the game, presumably because he ate all the children on the other team.