Archive: Herb and Jamaal

Post Content

Herb and Jamaal, 9/8/15

Herb and Jamaal eschews proper nouns and really specifics of any kind” is a thing I used to talk about on this blog a lot, but I got sort of tired of it and I don’t think the strip does it as much as it used to anyway. Today at least it seems like it might vaguely be in service to the joke? I mean, it would be more natural if the dialogue went like this: “She arrives today on the noon bus!” “Is that the Greyhound?” “Yes.” “Well, that’s appropriate, because she’s a real dog, get it? Tell her she’s not allowed to touch my stuff.” But no, the tension in Herb’s household is expressed much, much more passive aggressively.

I also like that Eula has a Star Trek mug. Just because she’s moved in with the son-in-law that she despises, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have hobbies or interests! Herb, who has no hobbies or interests, couldn’t think of anything to put on his mug but his own name.

Judge Parker, 9/8/15

It must be pretty fun to be Marie, who has her housekeeping duties occasionally interrupted by industrial cleaning duties and HR department duties. I approve of this development, because it brings forward the inevitable day when she murders all these people.

Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 7/24/15

Hey Old Cindy, news flash: popularity comes from people liking you. Young Cindy isn’t wearing a “popularity mask” — in her time she is genuinely, extraordinarily, and (imagine this) hilariously popular. And far from loathing herself, she feels really good about it. If you managed to talk yourself into regretting all that, it’s your loss — Young Cindy is having a blast.

Maybe Young Cindy should point out that bossy olds like you are forever bringing kids down telling them to stop having fun, and just because your Special Lesson cost you so much doesn’t mean it’s worth anything to her. And that her drink needs refreshing so excuse me lady, sheesh.

Hey, I guess in some crazy way that “self-loathing” thing was right after all!

Herb and Jamaal, 7/24/15

OK, Generic Customer Guy, what’s your beef? You didn’t like hanging out and watching TV with your friends, and you don’t like hauling stuff around for your friends, so I’m getting the impression you just really don’t like these friends! Go find new ones … like me, for example! It just so happens I’m replacing a fence out back, and will accept a generous offer to haul some lumber in lieu of a formal introduction.


Reminder: no Comments of the Week on my watch – Josh alone stands in judgment! I hope you enjoy your weekend as much as I enjoy building a fence with my new friend!

— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Crankshaft, 7/13/15

Golf is one of those things that I simply don’t get. I don’t get the appeal of watching it or playing it. Which is fine! I certainly don’t object to anyone else enjoying themselves watching or playing it. It’s just one of those things, like S&M and Mad Men, that I’m happy so many people derive enjoyment from but that isn’t for me.

The somewhat irritating thing, though, is that, unlike S&M (but like Mad Men), a lot of people who are into golf think that everyone is into golf, that golf is a universal cultural touchstone, and that anyone who isn’t into golf is weird or suspicious. This is certainly true of syndicated newspaper comics, where golf jokes abound and presumably sail over the head of most of the children who are the ostensible targets for a lot of comics, along with non-golf-mad adults like me.

This is an overly wordy way for me to set up the fact that it took me a while to remember, based on my one or two visits to actual golf courses, that those big white spheroids are things that mark where you’re supposed to tee off or something, and the joke is that Crankshaft needs new glasses. I’m still not sure about this, actually, because I can’t figure out what to Google other than “big white spheroids that mark where you’re supposed to tee off” and that’s not producing useful results, but I’m pretty sure I’m right. But before I figured that out I was a pretty baffled as to (a) what was going on and (b) what “prescription” Crankshaft’s friend was talking about. Was it a metaphor for … testicles? Does Crankshaft need a new prescription because his testicles are all swole up, and about to hurt like someone just hit them with a golf club? Is this an old man thing? Is this what I have to look forward to as I age, testicle-wise? You can see why I’m pretty invested in the interpretation of the joke I eventually settled on.

Beetle Bailey, 7/13/15

With gay people now allowed to serve openly in America’s military, the transgressive thrill is gone from Beetle and Sarge’s relationship, and Beetle has moved on to something new that makes him feel sexy and dangerous: bed-fucking.

Family Circus, 7/13/15

I don’t know what I find funnier here: how irritated Big Daddy Keane looks or how smug Billy looks. You kids won’t be smirking once your dad narcs you out to LucasFilm and you find yourself on the receiving end of a massive trademark infringement lawsuit!

Herb and Jamaal, 7/13/15

Life is violent and uncertain! You could die horribly at any moment! Why not reveal your repressed erotic feelings to the ones you love the most? There’s no time left to lose!

Lockhorns, 7/13/15

Please tell me there’s literally a line of greeting cards you can send to your enemies where you wish the eternal damnation of divine punishment upon them! “Some theologians say that the true torture in hell is separation from God/ Well here’s God/ and here’s you/ Look how far away you are/ Writhe in the eternal darkness/ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha”

Marvin, 7/13/15

I was going to question the credentials of a doctor who goes around wearing bunny ears, but this guy seems to believe that Marvin has a severe and possibly fatal medical condition, so let’s hear what he has to say!