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Mother Goose and Grimm, 8/8/26

So, ah, what do you think that foodstuff is that Superman is slicing in half with his (I assume) heat vision? Is it a deep dish pizza, half cheese and half pepperoni? Some kind of custard tart with fruit on only half of it? Assuming that the “topping on only half” part is deliberate, why would Supes be slicing the appetizer in half in a way that each half has some topping and some not? And could either a pizza or a tart really be considered an “appetizer,” anyway? BUT: what if I told you that this is all a distraction from the real issue, which is that Mother Goose, who has a boyfriend, is on what appears to be a date with the Man of Steel, who, I haven’t really been keeping up but he generally has a couple ladies whose affections he’s juggling as well, right? What is going on here? Scandalous!

Hi and Lois, 8/8/26

Sure, this looks like a couple of suburban bros enjoying a little light erotic hosefun, but think about it for a moment: Hi declares that it’s hot enough to spray Thirsty with his hose, which implies that there are situations where Thirsty would be uncomfortable enough to ask but Hi would deem the weather too mild and would then withhold the desired soaking. In other words, it’s a little BDSM-flavored light erotic hosefun.

Marvin, 8/8/26

I like how Marvin’s grandpa tried to do a cute little joke to make light of the pain constantly besetting his aging body, but it doesn’t work to lighten his or Bernie’s spirits and neither of them can muster a smile. Usually when I write a sentence like this starting with “I like how…” I’m being sarcastic, but not in this case. I bear animus towards all the characters in Marvin, even the ancillary ones, and I revel in their unbroken experience of misery.

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Gil Thorp, 8/4/26

I have thought for some time now that Gil is universally considered the most important person in Milford, and perhaps even in whatever geographic region is covered by the whole Valley Conference (“the Valley,” I guess). Today’s strip is more evidence: I simply don’t believe that an ordinary person could call the cops and say “Uh, this guy at my wedding is being weird” and they’d show up in less time than it takes for said guy to finish his supervillain monologue.

Judge Parker, 8/4/26

The fun thing about Judge Parker is that there are two potential ways this could play out — April is furious that Neddy has left their child in the care of her perfectly capable adult sister, with a family rift and endless boring emotional processing to come, or the “April” calling Neddy is actually an AI deepfake voice program and this is part of a larger plot to kidnap Charlotte — and I’m not sure which it’s going to be.

Hi and Lois, 8/4/26

Hey, Irma is married to Thirsty, and Lois, her only friend, recently (in 1980, 1980 is recently in comic strip time) got a job as a realtor and can’t spend as much time hanging out with her as she used to. Let her have fun on her dang phone! Are a few afternoons lost to an infinite scroll through one AI slop reel after another really that much worse than watching her claw desperately at a block of wood like an animal?

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Luann, 8/1/26

Much as it pains me to give Luann some credit, and much as it pains me to say anything positive about the “Brad and Toni have sex in the shower” interlude, I will admit that it’s a positive step that the strip has finally moved beyond ribaldry and is now admitting “Yes, the couples in our strip have sex, like normal people do.” Or at least some of the couples! Because I guess Phil and Luann might move in together, but possibly in separate bedrooms, and Luann is like “Oh, huh, well, this is … not what I expected?” Very odd situation for college (or older?) age adults to find themselves in, but at least we’re back to the old sexually confusing and/or gross Luann scenarios we all know and love.

Gil Thorp, 8/1/26

Quite an interesting list of wedding guests vendors Gil has assembled: his enemy-turned-pal/employee Coach Luke is his officiant, his enemy-turned-frenemy(?) Marty Moon is his DJ, and his still-current-enemy Coach Gerads is, nonconsensually, his bartender. Ha ha, he’s wearing Groucho glasses as a disguise, what a kook! I assume that he murdered the bartenders Gil hired and, via a slow-acting poison in the drinks, has also murdered most of the guests at this point.

Hi and Lois, 8/1/26

It’s not clear to me if Thirsty failed to make his usual golf time with Hi because he’s passed out drunk so Hi has been assigned a partner on the course, or if Hi has decided to make a new friend because Thirsty is chronically drunk and unreliable, but this guy’s shocked expression in panel two shows that he has a lot to learn about Hi’s complex emotional life. A guy who’s playing golf … even though he hates playing golf? Who ever heard of such a thing!

Archie, 8/1/26

So in order for this strip to work, you have to imagine that Archie’s dad abruptly and without explanation told his family to pack, checked out of their hotel early, and now they’ve been driving in silence for hours until his wife finally got the nerve up to ask what’s going on and he replies, heavy lidded, “I’m tired, dear. I’m so tired.” Pretty chilling!

Shoe, 8/1/26

Biz, I don’t think you should be making a sly, flirtatious face at Roz as you explain that all your friends are dead! I think that’s going to make everyone uncomfortable, actually.