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Hi and Lois, 11/19/24

See, here’s an example of why Hi and Lois absolutely should stick to its post-punchline vibes: today’s strip does have a punchline, and it sucks. Oh, what’s that? You don’t watch a form of televised entertainment that’s become omnipresent because it’s cheap to produce and activates the same base pleasure centers in the human bran that react to cocaine? You’d rather contemplate the slow-moving majesty of nature instead? Thanks, smug baby, you’ve really given us all something to think about, via extremely mild wordplay.

Marvin, 11/19/24

Two of the worst things about Marvin are (a) it’s often about the title character peeing and pooing, and his adversarial relationship to toilets and being potty trained, and (b) it never really lands on whether the title character is a preverbal infant who communicates with thought balloons, in which case the peeing and pooing make sense, or a child old enough to go to school independently and talk out loud and such. Anyway, today’s strip hits both of these low notes, if you’re keeping track.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/19/24

Is Rex Morgan a fast-paced, gripping adventure strip that makes every visit to the comics page a thrill ride? No. But does it tackle real-world medical issues and educate the general public about their importance? Also no. But does it feature lots of drawings of hands in very specific positions and configurations? Yeah, that’s the one. It does that. We all know about “feet guys,” but if there’s such a thing as “hand guys,” as I assume there are, Rex Morgan, M.D., is their go-to, and I think that’s great.

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Gasoline Alley, 11/18/24

Is that really true, Arty? Have today’s children seen a lot about Mars on TV? Is there actually a lot of Mars content out there, on television, a medium that today’s grade-school children are definitely watching? Are America’s 8-year-olds into the Apple TV+ show For All Mankind, the only actual current show with Mars content that I can think of? Seriously, are they watching that? Are 8-year-olds watching it and not me, even though, as an alt-history sci-fi show created by Ron Moore of Star Trek/Battlestar Galactica fame, it was basically created to specifically cater to my personal tastes? Are the 8-year-olds really this far ahead of me on this? I gotta watch that show, is what I’m saying. Feel like I should finish The Expanse first (I KNOW), but I’m gonna get to it soon enough.

Hi and Lois, 11/18/24

I realize it can be hard to tell with me when I’m talking through multiple layers of irony, so I need to be very clear: Hi and Lois now does strips that are mostly “funny without having punchlines in a traditional sense” and I really love it. It’s great! This strip is great! “I don’t think Lois likes me.” “What makes you say that?” “Oh, well, I was kind of taking liberties by looking for something to eat in your fridge and she really bit my head off. Didn’t hold back at all, and was actually pretty mean about it. Look at her face, you can tell she’s still pissed!”

Alice, 11/18/24

I honestly find the cold, hooded expression with which Alice is regarding her inner child pretty distressing. “Wounded, eh? Well, who do you think wounded you? The same one who’s now going to kill you off once and for all!” [produces huge knife that’s somehow able to stab metaphors]

Crock, 11/18/24

I guess the first panel here is a relic of the days when newspapers would sometimes have some column inches to fill so they’d do an interview with a local weirdo and/or the PR person for an obscure trade group and produce features like “Camels for dinner? Not so far-fetched, experts say”. But I honestly prefer the idea that our Legionnaire is reading a French-language newspaper sold to the local occupation troops, and the banner headline is “FLN SIEGE OF ORAN POCKET HOLDS; STARVATION IMMINENT”.

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Pluggers, 11/16/24

Big news for people tired of reading my typed words and interested in hearing my voice: if you fall into that category and you are subscriber to the 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back podcast from Conor Lastowka and Mike Nelson of Rifftrax fame, you can listen to me trying to solve an Encyclopedia Brown mystery and, of course, talkin’ Slylock Fox, Encyclopedia Brown’s spiritual cousin in ratiocination, but with furries. “But, Josh,” you’re no doubt saying, “This isn’t a Slylock strip, it’s a Pluggers panel, an entirely different cartoon! Yes, they both feature unsettling human-animal hybrids, but the vibes are totally different! Slylock’s all unsettlingly amped up, while Pluggers is slow, desultory, depressing, fading slowly into nothingness but never quite getting there.” Well, what if I told you that the Encyclopedia Brown mystery we discuss involves a kid who’s a toilet paper collector? It does, and I’m sorry, this plugger clearly owns a “collection” rather than a “stash.” Each roll is lovingly displayed and meant to be examined again and again at leisure by this dog man and whatever weirdos he invites over to look at them. Real sicko stuff, in my opinion!

Hi and Lois, 11/16/24

I was briefly going to suggest that it would be funnier, or at least closer in structure to a “joke”, if Thirsty were just on his side of the fence here, basking in the stolen glow of his neighbors’ fire from his own yard. But I forgot that we’re in the bold new post-punchline era of Hi and Lois and I’m actually pretty OK with the offering we have here, where it’s clear that Thirsty has openly come onto the Flagstons’ property and lit a fire, and they’re standing at the window fretting about what if anything to do about it.

Shoe, 11/16/24

“Soon afterwards, he died of massive internal injuries. He was 56. Rest in power, Mr. Schwartz.”