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Pickles, 6/5/26

“We’re all gonna die eventually, but sometimes our ability to experience even basic pleasures dies before the rest of us” is a pretty grim thing for kids to read in the comics, so it’s a good thing that not many kids read the comics, I guess.

Heathcliff, 6/5/26

Although you know what legacy strip has a surprisingly strong zoomer fan base? Heathcliff! That’s why it can afford to play around with youth slang like this. Ha ha, the fish is “low-key” terrified, as the kids would say, if they were trapped in a bowl perched atop the head of a creature who was about to devour them.

Hi and Lois, 6/5/26

I’m not going to say that the art in Hi and Lois is “good,” exactly, but the faces are surprisingly expressive given how stylized they are. Like, with Lois today, they really nailed “Well that wasn’t an inappropriate thing to say exactly, but it also forced me to contemplate my teenage son as a sexual being, and I honestly don’t care for it.”

Crankshaft, 6/5/26

“That’s the pocket where I keep my phone. Did you know you can put pictures on your phone now? And also get copies of the pictures of your phone printed out? Truly we live in an age of wonders!”

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Hi and Lois, 6/4/26

Honestly there’s a really sad story written on Ditto’s dumbfounded face in panel two. “Oh, wow, I guess he barks all the time because he craves attention and affection? Huh. I feel bad now!”

Andy Capp, 6/4/26

Andy Capp is really educating me about the United Kingdom: it’s a country that loves art and includes a town named Beer. Admittedly it’s a tiny village of less than 1,300 people, which is surprising given that Britain is (another fact I’ve learned from Andy Capp) an island of inveterate alcoholics.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/4/26

Doug, no! The Glenwood Hotel’s whole deal is that it’s a run-down piece of shit! You’re going to screw with the whole brand!

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Hi and Lois, 5/25/26

I feel like I’m one of the last pedants holding onto this fact, but Memorial Day is not for remembering all who served; that’s Veterans Day, in November. Memorial Day is for remembering all who died while serving. Died like the food you’re shoving down your gullet, Thirsty. Like all life forms, and like the modern nation-state, we feed on death!

Luann, 5/25/26

“Hop on it! By ‘it’ I mean your wife, who also works here, whom I urge you to mount and inseminate. Remember, climate change will make our jobs harder and harder, until we lose the battle against fire and society collapses!”

Gil Thorp, 5/25/26

Hey, remember all those teen golfers we met? Well, they died. They fuckin’ died. But the important thing is that Gil’s team beat the team coached by his ex-wife, so their sacrifice was not in vain.