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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/1/24

Obviously Snuffy Smith’s whole deal is that he doesn’t care about the greater good of the polity and routinely engages in lawbreaking and antisocial behavior, but I gotta say that this is a new low. Many Hootin’ Holler residents who enjoy a lazy day on the lake fishing from their little canoes — including Snuffy himself! — will now have their leisure disrupted by flatlanders zooming around in their big powerboats. And for what? Was this little joke so irresistible that he had to have the sign in his bedroom, and are his literacy and scrapwood-scavenging skills so lacking that he had to take the extremely nonprofessional looking sign down from the lake?

Dick Tracy, 7/1/24

Mr. Borden is being blackmailed by Mr. Gabriel in some way related to those those salacious pictures in a manila folder that were hinted at a couple of weeks ago. I’m impressed that today’s strip includes a shoutout to the famous album cover of Big Black’s “Songs About Being Blackmailed Over Salacious Pictures In A Manila Folder.”

Hi and Lois, 7/1/24

No you absolutely can not, kids! Something you did is what’s made her so upset in the first place!

Mary Worth, 7/1/24

Oh, silly Wilbur! Fish are innocents, incapable of sin, and you will not be meeting Stellan again in hell.

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Hi and Lois, 6/25/24

Over at here at Hi and Lois, we’re working to reassure you that it’s not just desperate old people falling for those “Make Money At Home – Set Your Own Hours!” scams on Facebook. No, teenagers are falling for them too! Or at least we’re pretty sure they are. We asked our grandson “What’re you looking at on your phone, buddy? Facebook?” and his grunted reply seemed like an affirmative, so we’re running with that.

Rhymes With Orange, 6/25/24

Um actually Adam, it wasn’t the “tree of knowledge,” it was the “tree of knowledge of good and evil,” so maybe you can annoy your wife when the kid gets to his ethics homework, huh? Oh, what’s that, you, as one of the only two adult humans alive, weren’t planning on teaching him ethics? Do you want to raise Cain, the first murderer? Because that’s how you get Cain, the first murderer.

Marvin, 6/25/24

[desperately trying to think of something non-poop related to say about Marvin] You ever notice how messed up the feet in Marvin look? Check out those feet! The heels are sticking out further from the leg than the toes! And those toes … well, just try imagining what they look like under those “shoes”! Ha ha! Real messed up, right? Messed up enough to purge all thought of the poop jokes from your mind?

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Blondie, 6/16/24

Even in a recurring narrative, it can be difficult to accommodate the full network of an average person’s social relations into the story, which is why every workplace sitcom that runs for any length of time ends up landing on “all these coworkers actually hang out together constantly outside of work too.” Still, it is kind of odd that we’ve never heard Blondie or Dagwood, who can’t be older than their mid 50s and may be quite a bit younger, ever talk about any of their parents. This implies that they either died young or that they’re estranged, so maybe Dagwood whipping himself into manic glee over the thought that Mr. Dithers serves as an abusive surrogate father figure is an attempt to deflect their conversation from sensitive emotional territory. On the other hand, the fact that Dithers is actually coming over, and the fact that he looks not that different from Dagwood’s father from the Jazz-era strips, hints at an even darker storyline here.

Hi and Lois, 6/16/24

Honestly, mad respect to Hi and Lois for following up on the kids’ decision last month to combine the parent holidays into a single convenient unit. Hi thought they were doing a bit, but they weren’t, and it’s funny because he feels really bad about it!

Mary Worth, 6/16/24

Imagine you got invited to a surprise party, and you’re like, “Oh, is it a surprise birthday party?” and the host says, “No, actually, it’s a surprise fish funeral.” What sort of crowd could you get for that? Well, the answer is “Saul and Eve, who as far as I know haven’t really interacted with Wilbur but are a little pet-mad so they’re game, and Toby and Ian, who probably don’t have a lot else going on.” It does not include Dr. Jeff, who has found the limits to his dignity, and is presumably sullenly waiting in the cabin of his boat, wearing a disguise of some sort in case any of his real friends walk by.