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Dennis the Menace, 8/15/24

Spent a long time … no, that’s a lie. I spent like 30 seconds trying to figure if there was a “joke” here per se. Like, is it about … ice cream or something? Maybe? Eventually decided that there wasn’t. Mr. Wilson is just feeling better! Maybe he finally got on the right cocktail of psychopharmaceuticals, or maybe he just realized he has it pretty good and decided to rearrange his outlook on life. Either way, good for him!

Hi and Lois, 8/15/24

There’s no joke here either, but that’s par for the course in this strip now, and frankly I’m not complaining, because this is great. The little league team isn’t doing well, and Hi, who probably already feels like it’s kind of a thankless job, just got publicly insulted by one of the kids, while his son looks on in horror. It’s perfect! Keep it up, Hi and Lois!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/15/24

I’ve ruffled a few feathers by speaking some tough truths about comic characters — namely, the truth that the Lockhorns are Millennials. So here’s some more shocking real talk: probably most of you, based on their old-timey attire plus the fact that they look like wizened, ancient gnome-creatures, assume that Snuffy and Loweezy Smif are old people. But that doesn’t add up! As you can see here, they don’t see themselves that way; moreover, they have an infant child, and live in the sort of community where younger parenthood is the norm! We must therefore assume that they are at most 27 years old, and you know what that means: THE SMIFS ARE ZOOMERS

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Sam and Silo, 8/12/24

Man, for a brief and shining moment, I thought we were going to start the week with a truly exciting Sam and Silo moment. “Now what?” asks the mayor. “Look at our badges, Mayor,” Sam replies. “We are the armed forces of this town, those dedicated to protecting the community from violence with violence, decorated to reflect the honor in the eyes of the people that this status bestows upon us. It’s up to us to push aside the degenerate ‘leaders’ produced by the failed democratic system and bring the unified and purified nation forward into modernity and success. You’re under arrest for treason and there will be no trial.” Unfortunately, instead we’re just setting up more comical Sam vs. Silo squabbling. As if that’s going to do anything to help replace the collapsing liberal consensus with the New Order!

Hi and Lois, 8/12/24

You think at first that the reason why the twins want to put a stop to this little reverie is obvious: their parents are imagining a universe where their kids never existed and, to judge based on their facial expressions, are absolutely loving it. But in fact, it’s much bleaker: the children demand an absolute monopoly on the whimsical contemplation of any counterfactual scenarios within the household. Adults are restricted to linear, reality-based thought processes that can help them be economically productive and provide for their children. You can see why visualizing a child-free household is so appealing to Hi and Lois, which ironically makes it all the more important to the kids that they put an immediate stop to such thoughtcrime.

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Alice, 8/7/24

The thing is that your boy Josh came down with COVID-19 last weekend, and while I am currently on the mend it made my brain a little loopy this week (this Alice strip is here to show you what it was like inside my skull for a while) and also apparently interfered with my ability to operate the ol’ time travel machine. This meant I posted Thursday’s strips on Wednesday and (briefly) posted tomorrow’s (Friday’s) strips Thursday (the day on which I am writing this Wednesday post). Ooops! I’ve corrected the dates on everything on the site (so it goes in the right order), but here’s a short Wednesday post, for completeness!

Dennis the Menace, 8/7/24

Sure, Mr. Wilson, I get it. There are lots of times when I think up a joke, but doing it right involves figuring out some specific pieces of information, like “What’s a typical amount that a child Dennis’s age weighs” and “Wait, how old is Dennis supposed to be, actually,” and then I just don’t bother. This is frankly the most relatable this man has ever been to me.

Beetle Bailey and Hi and Lois, 8/7/24

Oh no, Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC has learned what “influencers” are and will be making jokes about them, code red code red