Post Content

The Lockhorns, 11/1/23

This has, from the very beginning, been a pro-Lockhorns blog, but I really feel like this strip has kicked it up a notch in recent years, managing to simultaneously feel timeless but also contemporary. The Lockhorns of yore might’ve been uncomfortable with our nation’s increasing ethnic diversity. But 2023’s Lockhorns live in a Nassau County that’s 18% Latino, and seamlessly reference their neighbors’ rich cultural heritage as they passive-aggressively destroy one another for the benefit of anyone who will listen.

Hi and Lois, 11/1/23

Imagine if you were, after decades as a stunted infant, finally beginning to illustrate signs of physical growth, only to realize that it was just part of your Creators trying to establish that you live in a cross-property Cinematic Universe! It’d be pretty depressing, I bet.

Post Content

Beetle Bailey, 10/31/23

Maybe I’m overly into the holiday spirit today but I genuinely enjoy the pathos of today’s strip. General Halftrack is so mad, and well might he be! He put a lot of effort into his vampire costume and these two did just the absolute minimum necessary! Now he looks like a tryhard, like the women and that goober Zero! Even Lt. Fuzz is making him seem like a chump.

[UPDATE: haha yes this is Killer, not Gen. Halftrack, for some reason I was visualizing an elaborate mustache-dyeing scenario that is quite honestly beyond the General’s ability to focus for short-term gain]

Dennis the Menace, 10/31/23

I’ve seen zero evidence that the Wilsons are into health food at all, and in fact Mrs. Wilson is constantly plying Dennis with cookies and such whenever he stops by unannounced, so I assume their trick-or-treat game is solid. You can just tell Joey that Mr. Wilson hates you, Dennis, I’m sure he’s got it mostly figured out already.

Gil Thorp, 10/31/23

LAST WEEK’S GIL THORP STORYLINE: The older Thorp kid has an abortion, a normal thing that happens all the time in real life, whole family is supportive, minimum of drama, not worth covering on this blog, of most interest because in a post-Dobbs world it helps us narrow down what state Milford is in

THIS WEEK’S GIL THORP STORYLINE: Gil is a vampire, this lady is offering herself up to him to have her blood erotically drained, I’m crying and throwing up and calling my Congressman to demand a government investigation into this filth

Hi and Lois, 10/31/23

Speaking of filth, I can believe these TWIN SIBLINGS went out dressed as a ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED COUPLE from a popular video game. I guess they’re “too young to know better,” but honestly, their parents should be guiding them away from terrible mistakes like this.

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/24/23

We do know how to cure it, Rex! The cure is called the Mirakle Method, and it broke Rene’s will and convinced him to give up his life of crime and turn himself in to the authorities almost instantly! You just watched the news segment where they talked about it on TV and everything. Rex should go to the local prison and visit that guy who kidnapped criminals and then begged Rex to operate on their brains, to give him the good news.

Marvin, 10/24/23

One of my personal hobby horses is that “a fire hydrant is like a toilet, to a dog” jokes in the comics have become further and further untethered from the underlying reality that dogs will just piss on any vertical surface in general and fire hydrants are often the best case scenario when walking a dog in through a neighborhood when the other options are houses, cars, and trees. Often my response is “have any of these people ever actually seen a dog piss on a fire hydrant?”, and today’s strip reveals that for the Marvin creative team, the answer is clearly no, and the version of the process that they’re visualizing is deeply disturbing.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/24/23

Look, I’m sorry, I know that, in times of increased political and social tensions, legacy newspaper characters occasionally urge us all, in a folksy and extremely nonspecific manner, to get along, but this is Snuffy Smith we’re talking about. He’s involved in a violent feud with the Barlow clan that’s lasted so many generations that nobody can even remember its origins anymore! He’s not the guy to deliver this message.

Hi and Lois, 10/24/23

Yes, that certainly is how caffeine addiction works! You know, some people say that comic strips should have “punchlines,” but I think that’s a bourgeois affectation.