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Mary Worth, 2/5/24

Say, remember way back at the beginning of this storyline, when Sonia showed up at Keith’s doorstep insisting that he was her father, and due to their shared hair color and love of root beer he just kind of went along with it, even though many of us were like “Um, Keith? DNA test? Hello??? DNA test????” Well, big news: he’s finally getting around to it, and sure, most of us would want to get confirmation of paternity before we went through the trouble of reconnecting (sexually) with our long-lost ex/supposed baby mama and scaring away the weird fake hippie dude who was always hanging around for reasons that seemed predatory but were never quite clear. But, let’s be clear: most of us are cowards. Anyway, can’t wait for Keith’s ol’ pal Sal to call him from the lab and say “Yeah, your instincts were right on. This was definitely root beer.”

Hi and Lois, 2/5/24

The joke here is obviously that Lois is at the end of her rope and has resorted to the flimsiest of pretenses to force her children to stop talking, but I’d like to believe that it’s Hi she’s addressing in the second panel. It’s his moment of silence because he’s dying, which she hasn’t told him about yet.

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Hagar the Horrible, 2/3/24

Man, I remember when poetry was orally transmitted, when anyone could get in front of the assembly and fire off some verses that they had memorized about the contention of the gods or the glorious battles fought by our fathers or our fathers’ fathers in the south. But then, our fathers fathers’ brought back writing from the south, along with big ideas about how the King shouldn’t just be the chief of chiefs but at the top of the heap and in command of all, and now you need his permission just to be a poet, and you have to write all your poetry down on paper. This place is getting to be a drag, man. You wanna go to Greenland? I hear Greenland is still cool. Got a lot of breathing room out there.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/3/24

I applaud today’s Snuffy Smith for acknowledging that generation gap discourse is eternal and ongoing rather than doing the “kids today would rather look at the phone on their comfortable couch instead of playing kick the can in the street and getting run over by a car” bit, but I do want to recognize that Snuffy’s father was canonically in a Rip Van Winkle-style state of suspended animation for decades. He literally doesn’t understand the current generation! He’s a man out of time, unmoored from the world he thought he knew!

Hi and Lois, 2/3/24

Ha ha, it’s funny because Thirsty is going to die of carbon monoxide poisoning in that tent! Don’t worry, it will be very peaceful for him, because he’s quite drunk.

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Hi and Lois, 1/25/24

Wow, that is a sinister expression on Dot’s face there in the final panel. “If I had the God-like power to erase anything from existence, what would it be? Why, my twin, my echo, my failed copy, the one person I’ve been with ever since the day I was born — even before, in the womb. Would I wipe him out with a gesture? Of course I would. There would finally be room for me, then.”

Marvin, 1/25/24

A thing about Marvin is that Marvin is awful, sure, but also sometimes you get strips about how the adults in his life also know he’s awful, and are scheming to spend as little time with him as possible. Almost like it’s written by someone who hates writing about this awful baby but it’s their job now and they can’t escape! Ha ha, I wouldn’t know anything about that.

Six Chix, 1/25/24

“Are … are you OK? Like, do you have someone to talk to, about this, or about anything, really?” –my initial reaction to a solid 40% of Six Chix strips